We have all had times in our lives when we have felt “stuck.” What an uncomfortable feeling! It is like being sucked into a dark emotional whirlpool of indecision and total lack of direction! When this happens, we go round and round until we actually begin to believe that we are living a life with few or no options.
The state of occasionally feeling stuck is part of our spiritual growth and generally follows major shifts in our lives. It often follows a period of trauma, such as: getting divorced, losing a loved one, a health crisis, or financial loss. Interestingly, it is equally common to experience this feeling following “positive” changes in our lives, such as: getting married, the birth of a child, sending the last child off to school, getting a promotion at work, moving our home location, or retiring.
Often times we deal with the aftermath of going through these traumas and major transitions by “freezing,” which is actually the equivalent of an emotional aftershock. As always, we need to respect ourselves by honoring and expressing the feelings we have that accompany the shifts within our lives. We need to be aware of and express grief, anger, resentment, fear, and the myriad of emotions that each experience brings out within us. Also, this period of emotional plateauing is healthy in that we may require some time to stabilize ourselves in order to prepare for shifting into the new priorities that follow major life changes.
A problem arises only when we remain in this “frozen state” for long periods of time by continuing to focus on the past. Continuing to resist the changes in our lives, whether positive or negative, can cause a great deal of suffering and, over a prolonged period of time, can eventually cause depression. Depression causes a paralytic state of mind that blocks our creativity and ability to flow with change.
There is an underlying theme beneath the feeling of being stuck: When we experience major change in our lives, we tend to pause and question our purpose. In other words, as we end one stage of life and begin another, we are called upon to create new ideas of what we want to do with our lives. Major life transitions are intersections; and, just as we do when approaching a traffic intersection, we need to slow down in order to switch directions.
Here are some suggestions for getting unstuck and moving “into the flow:”
1. Express Your Feelings – Be aware of your emotions and express them to supportive people in your life. This helps your mind to process the changes you are experiencing with greater ease and helps to keep your heart open.
2. Forgive Yourself – Many times we beat ourselves up with the “I should have,” “I wish I had,” and “If only” statements. Some of the life shifts you are experiencing can feel like walloping blows to your sense of third dimensional security. Be kind to yourself by acknowledging that you are doing the best you know to do with what is going on in your life.
3. Develop the Habit of Self-Loving Dialogue – Consciously choose to talk to yourself as though you were your own best friend. By making this a regular practice, you will eventually reinforce your self-esteem.
4. Focus on the Lessons Learned Through the Changes – Every experience you have ever had has helped you to become wiser and more whole. When you glean the life lessons you most need to learn from your challenging experiences, you will not repeat the same unproductive patterns.
5. Express Gratitude for the Lessons – Expressing appreciation for both the ups and downs of life is a wonderful way to attract blessings and to live in a state of grace, no matter what you are experiencing.
6. Create a New Dream – The completion of each state of life offers the opportunity for the beginning of a new one. This is the perfect time to decide what you would like to do to expand your life through new adventures. (You may find it helpful to read my previous blog from August 27, “Creating Visions of Your Desired Reality.”)
7. Step Into Your Dream – The most effective way to break out of inertia is to take action. NOW is the time to take the first step toward fulfilling your visions of new beginnings. You do not have wait until the perfect time, the perfect place, or the perfect opportunity. There is no “right” or “wrong” when it comes to being the author of your own life. Every single action that you take toward realizing your new dream creates momentum. As the famous Nike slogan so aptly expresses, “Just Do It!”
The energy of life is dynamic, so change is inevitable. HOW we experience change is a choice. When we resist change, we feel stuck; when we accept it, we free ourselves to learn and grow and to experience inner peace, no matter what is going on in our outer world.
Love and Light,