PART TWO: A Simple Forgiveness Exercise

This is the image of a gold, glitter heart on a black background

© Ron Dale/shutterstock.com

In last week’s blog, we talked about the need to forgive everyone, including people who have hurt us deeply. In this message, we discuss a simple forgiveness process that can be practiced all the time and has the infinite potential to heal everyone and everything, beginning with you. Since the process that is described at the end of the blog is exquisitely simple, the following points are intended to help you to open your mind and heart to the blessings of forgiveness:

 

Honor Your Feelings. Express your anger and resentment by beginning with a catharsis. Trying to forgive someone without first venting your feelings of pain is like trying to seal a potential volcanic eruption with a band-aid. There is usually a great deal of energy that needs to be released before the wound can heal. Some constructive ways you can do this are to: Give yourself permission to cry or even scream (best done in the car or somewhere where no one else can hear you!), talk with someone who is a compassionate listener, write your feelings down on paper, or engage in physical exercise. It is easy to stay stuck in this stage of expressing your feelings, so be sure to commit yourself to moving on to the next step of taking responsibility.

 

Take responsibility for the part that you have played in creating the situation. This is probably the most self-empowering step in the process of forgiveness. Since our thoughts create our reality, it is important that you remember that you have played a role in the creation of every experience you have ever had. By taking responsibility for your part, you are no longer a victim. If you created it, you can also change it!

 

Let go the need to judge who is “right” and who is “wrong.” Chances are that each person involved is absolutely certain he or she is right. This is why there is a conflict in the first place! Continuing to think this way only perpetuates more pain and suffering and resolves nothing.

 

Forgive yourself. You can only do for another that which you can do for yourself. This is truly an act of self-love. You are not forgiving yourself for being “wrong.” You are forgiving yourself for making choices that were not aligned with your personal values and self-respect. You are also forgiving yourself for continuing to punish yourself by constantly re-living painful memories.

 

See the Other Person’s Point of View – Remember that forgiveness is a two-way street. We need to also ask for forgiveness for our own transgressions against others. It is much easier to remember who has hurt us; yet many times the best way to move away from the self-perception of being an innocent victim is to realize that we have also hurt other people.

 

Be thankful for every experience. Every person you meet and every situation you have experienced is teaching you to be more whole. Our greatest lessons many times come through our most painful times. Choosing to be thankful for what you have learned from both the pleasant and unpleasant situations in life is the most effective way to move out of old pain behaviors. Gratitude is an emotion that sends out a frequency that attracts positive people and creates healthy situations.

 

Now, here is a shortcut that incorporates all of the above suggestions.

 

You can use this forgiveness process for every person and in every situation in your life. It is a derivation of an ancient Hawaiian healing process, H’oponopono, and is rooted in the intention of freeing one’s soul. You do not even need to be in the physical presence of someone whom you need to forgive. By merely focusing on the following thoughts, you are transmitting the energy of unconditional love.

 

A SIMPLE FORGIVENESS EXERCISE

 

1. I love myself and I forgive myself.

 

2. I take responsibility for the part that I have played in creating this situation.

 

3. Please forgive me for anything I have done to hurt you. (Imagine the person or people whom you need to forgive.)

 

4. Thank you for the lessons I have learned.

 

5. I love you! (This is  not about human passionate love – it is the unconditional, neutral love of spirit that honors the soul of every living being. This is the part of the forgiveness exercise that has the magical power to heal everyone and everything in ways that transcend human understanding.)

 

Remember, it does not matter if you do not feel these statements when you begin this process. What you are doing is setting intentions, and intentions precede feelings. As you consistently continue to send out these thoughts, you will begin to feel what you are saying because you are working in harmony with universal love.

 

Forgiveness is a habit. Like all habits, the more you practice it, the easier it becomes. Be kind to yourself and stick with it. Because forgiveness is unconditional love, it has the infinite potential to transform everyone and everything.

 

YOU have the power to heal yourself and others by making the choice to forgive.

 

Love and Light

 

Sandra

 

 

Click this link to order the downloadable audio meditation, “Free Yourself Through Forgiveness,” narrated by Sandra Brossman.

 

 

Same Ol’ Stress, A Whole New Attitude

It seems everywhere we turn, we encounter people who are overwhelmed and overworked who are, in turn, curt, over-reactive, or flat-out rude.

 

Believe it or not, we have a choice about how we respond to these situations.

 

This is a stress button and a relax button.

Shutterstock, © Stuart Miles

For example, I recently went to a doctor’s office and experienced three consecutive opportunities to transform energy within a period of 45 minutes.

 

  1. Receptionist: She greeted me with hostility, saying that she just had a screaming match with the patient before me. Rather than react, I chose to ask for her first name and said that I could understand how difficult that must have been for her. She smiled and told me how much she appreciated my punctuality and having my paperwork completed.
  2. Patient coordinator: When I told her why I was there, she confronted me by saying, “That’s not what you said when you called for the appointment!” I asked her how long she worked there and she replied in a harsh tone of voice that she had been there for ten years. My response? “With all that experience, you are probably right.”
  3. Physician’s assistant: She yawned, groaned, then proceeded to fall asleep on top of my paperwork. I told her, “This must be boring. You see this all day.” She perked up and said, “I apologize; it’s not you. I have a sick three-month-old baby and I was up all night.” In the couple minutes that it took me to empathize with her, she became awake, engaging and friendly.

 

We all have opportunities every day, with every person we meet to take a deep breath and choose to respond to them in a compassionate way.

 

The choice is yours: To react or to transform.

 

How have you managed to transform energy in your daily interactions?

 

Love and Light,

Sandra