What Matters Most Is How You See Yourself

This is the image of an orange tabby cat with his paw on the mirror as he looks at his reflection

© Dramatic Paws Animal Photography/shutterstock.com

 

 

When you look into or pass by a mirror, what is the first thing you do?  If you are like most people, your first response is to criticize the image reflecting back to you.

 

There is a huge full-length mirror in an elevator lobby in my building that compels anyone who is waiting for the elevators to catch a glimpse of themselves.  I always find it interesting to hear what people say:  “Boy, I look tired,” “My hair looks terrible today,” and “Ooh – I am really gaining weight” are a few of the most common things I hear. I don’t think I have ever heard anyone say something positive about their own reflection.

 

Of course, it is rather uncomfortable to say aloud that you think you look wonderful when you are in a public place.  So the question is: Why do we think it is all right to say something negative about ourselves in a public place?

 

Most of us have been socially conditioned to worry about how other people think of us.  While there is nothing wrong with trying to emulate the qualities we admire in others, we do ourselves a great deal of harm by judging and criticizing ourselves when we think we are not measuring up to our perceptions of other people’s expectations.  Chronic self-criticism produces guilt and shame, and shame is an emotion that continues to perpetuate a negative self-image.

 

So where does our self-image originate? Beginning early in our childhoods, we are mentally programmed with beliefs which have been influenced by years of social conditioning, religious doctrines, family structure, teaching institutions, and customs.  When we were young children, we did not have the mental capabilities to screen what was our personal truth and what was someone else’s, so we unconditionally accepted the perceptions of our parents and people around us as absolute truth. If a parent consistently scolded us by saying we were “bad,” or a teacher in kindergarten told us we were “not bright,” we most likely accepted these statements as gospel.  Because we needed to look to others for our survival when we were young children, we tended to adapt our thinking and behavior to gain acceptance and approval from others.

 

If you have had a lot of positive programming as a child, chances are that you have developed a healthy sense of self-esteem by learning how to focus on your strengths.  If you have had a lot of criticism as you were growing up (and most of us have), you may have developed the habit of constantly looking for your shortcomings. You can spend your whole life living backward by blaming the people who passed on their fear-based beliefs, or you can move into present time by living your life according to your own authentic values. If we truly want to heal, at a soul level, we need to transform the foundation of all of our beliefs from fear to love, beginning with ourselves.

 

The next time you look into a mirror, look into your own eyes and tell yourself what you most need to hear: “I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”  If you are at home, say it out loud.  If you are in public, think it to yourself.  You cannot say or hear it too often because the most basic human need we all have is to be loved and accepted.  If this is a message we want to hear from others, it is a message we need to first tell ourselves.  This practice will help you to develop the habit of focusing on your light and inner beauty because it is based on the unconditional love of Spirit.

 

One of the most touching and simply written summaries I have ever seen regarding self-esteem was written by the 8-year old daughter of a close friend of mine.  Her assignment was to look at a cat looking in a mirror, with a tiger reflecting back.  She was asked to look at the picture and explain her thinking on the following statement:  “What you think of yourself is more important than what you think others think of you.” Following is her response:

 

I think that the statement and picture mean that you need to be proud to be you and to think of yourself as amazing, talented, and very, very special.  Do not worry about what other people think of you.  If YOU think you are great, smart, and doing well, that is probably what other people will think of you.  If not – no worries. In conclusion, be happy with who you are.  Your opinion of yourself may not be the same as others, but that does not matter.  YOU ARE STILL SPECIAL!!

 

Love and Light

 

Sandra

 

A portion of this message is an excerpt from the book, The Power of Oneness, Live the Life You Choose.  To learn more about how you can align your life with spiritual truth, order the book at http://www.thepowerofoneness.com/products/ 

 

Are You Feeling Like Your World Is Dramatically Shifting? PART TWO

 

This is the image of a blue cloudy sky with a question mark shaped cloud in the middle

© aleisha/shutterstock.com

Even though the status of the world may seem overwhelming and out of our personal control, we each have the power to contribute to the healing of the world, beginning with our personal lives, starting in this present moment. Like a drop of water, every single thought we have ripples out into the massive sea of the collective thoughts of all humanity.  By choosing thoughts of love, we automatically unite with other like-minded souls in forming a field of energy that has the infinite power to exponentially create an entirely new world that is the essence of love, kindness, peace, respect and cooperation.

 

Since thought is creative, whatever we focus on expands.

 

The emphasis is on the word “create” because love is a sense of well being that originates from the inside, beginning with the intention of the heart.  If we are “looking” for it, we will not be able to find it  because a peaceful, loving world is not something that comes to us from the outside.  The condition of our physical world is a giant mirror reflecting back to us the collective thoughts of every person who is part of our earth family. Since thought is creative, whatever we focus on expands. Therefore, what we are seeing is an indication that part of our human society is predominately focused on judgment, violence, greed, and crime. We can point a finger of blame wherever and to whomever we want, but it does not change the truth that each one of us has played a part in creating the condition of the world in which we live.  Perhaps it has been in seemingly minor, passive ways, such as getting caught up in the turmoil and conflict of the world by watching and listening to endless news reports of violence and acts of desecration. Or, it could be as intensively aggressive as being a perpetrator in a massive heinous crime.  Judging who is “most wrong” renders us powerless and only creates more separation and discord between us and within our lives.

 

All change begins at the level of self, when we change our individual lives, the world around us changes as well.  

 

We can only change the quality of our collective personal reality by taking personal responsibility for the part we have each played in creating it.  When we accept this responsibility, we also expand to the much more self-empowering realization that we also have the power to change it.  Each one of us is innately gifted with the ability to contribute to the healing of the world by healing our own personal lives.  All change begins at the level of self, when we change our individual lives, the world around us changes as well.

 

In order to heal our personal lives, it is imperative that we let go of the past and get in touch with the infinite wisdom of Spirit. No matter how much confusion and change is going on around you, you can create a space of peace and spiritual connection within your life.  The following are some suggestions as to how you can “step into the new world,” beginning with your own life:

 

Meditate – Create a space of at least 20 minutes every day to sit in a place of peace and quiet.  Your meditation can be as simple as sitting on your sofa and focusing on your breath.  The importance of this cannot be overstated, for it is within the silence that you can remember your mind and body connection with spirit. Trust the wisdom and insights that will come through to you through your intuition.

 

Pray – Ask for divine guidance as to how you can best bring peace to the world; envision what a peaceful world looks like. Most importantly, imagine the feeling of peace within your own heart.

 

Forgive –  Let go of the need to be right.  All conflicts, whether it be in personal relationships or between countries, originate from the perception that one party is “right”  and the other is “wrong.”  The most effective way we can release the past and move into a world of love and peace is through the process of forgiveness. For greater insight on forgiveness, you may wish to reference my previous blog, The Greatest Gift We Give To Ourselves.

 

Live consciously – Align your thoughts, words, and actions with the spiritual values of love, respect, peace, and cooperation.  This requires diligent practice and is the most effective way to live a life of spiritual enlightenment.

 

Be mindful of what you feed your mind –  Stop watching violent entertainment shows and videos and modify the amount of time you spend following the news. There is a difference between being informed and immersing yourself in the fears of the world.  Instead, spend more time reading, watching, and listening to information that inspires you and nourishes your soul. What you put into your mind is what it feeds back to you.

 

Commune with Nature – Spend more time outdoors in the beauty of nature.  Nature regenerates your body, mind, and soul and balances your energy.

 

Every person who is in the world at this time has been divinely gifted with access to the universal wisdom that empowers us to harmonize our energies to bring wholeness to this earth.
 

Not only CAN we do it – this is our spiritual mission!!

 

As always, I welcome your thoughts.

 

Love and Light

 

Sandra

 

You may find it helpful to review Are You Feeling Like Your World Is Dramatically Shifting? PART ONE if you missed last week’s blog.

 

 

A portion of this message is an excerpt from the book, The Power of Oneness, Live the Life You Choose.  To learn more about how you can align your life with spiritual truth, order the book at http://www.thepowerofoneness.com/products/ 
The e-book version, regularly priced at $9.99 is presently being offered for only $1.99.

 

Are You Feeling Like Your World Is Dramatically Shifting? PART ONE!

This is the image of blue sky with cotton like clouds with one shaped like a question mark.

© aleisha/shutterstock.com

 

Many of us are living in a state of disorientation, as though the world, as we have known it, is gone. Sure, we have always been challenged by having to face the unknown. It is a well-known fact that the greatest fear we humans have is fear of the unknown. Although change causes us to be uncomfortable, we also know that change is the nature of life and provides the impetus that challenges us to expand in our mental emotional, and spiritual growth. Even with this awareness, the “new world” we are facing somehow feels different.

 

The vast majority of our population is sensing a highly-charged current of change which is indiscriminately affecting everyone everywhere. No matter who we are, where we live, or what our role is in life, everyone is personally feeling the repercussions of a major shift. We are presently being challenged with unprecedented levels of upheaval and uncertainty as we cope with economic volatility, globalization, major natural disasters, and phenomenal technological growth. Many of the social institutions to which we have long subscribed are in a state of great upheaval. Whether it be within the areas of our government, corporate structure, health care system, educational system, religious organizations, or the family unit, the traditional institutions which, for centuries, have been perceived as the mainstays of our lives are no longer providing us with the kind of security for which we long.

 

There is a world not only outside of us, but within us as well.

 

The changes we are witnessing are not only in our external existence, but within our personal lives as well. The outer world is a giant mirror reflecting back what is going on in our individual lives. Many of us are experiencing turmoil in exactly the areas which, in the past, seemed to have provided us with the most stability: job security, personal relationships, positions of power, and financial wealth. There seems to be a relentless hunger deep within us that cannot be satiated by the usual physical gratifications of food, money, power, sex, and fame. In some ways, it feels as though the very foundation of our security is vanishing.

 

The social changes we are experiencing are not issues within themselves, but evidence of a major shift in our collective thinking. We are moving away from the external values of materialism and moving toward the human inner values of Spirit.

 

After centuries of looking to our outer world for our sustenance and power, we are remembering a place deep within our souls where we have limitless access to unconditional love, support, renewal, and inspiration. Our soul is our connection Spirit; and it is within this space that we have a sense of correctness that is our truth. As we get in touch with our inner truth, we are coming to realize that many of the external conditions of our personal lives do not coincide with our spiritual values. If our personal lives are not reflecting our truth, then the external social institutions which we have created in this frame of mind do not reflect our truth. Since many things in our lives are changing at the same time, we may feel that we have lost the points of reference which, in the past, have kept us centered.

 

Humanity is evolving to a higher level of spiritual consciousness.

 

The brilliant ray of light shining through all of this confusion is that the chaos we are experiencing is a burst of energy giving rise to a more enlightened world that is redefining the center of its existence to coincide with the qualities of spiritual love. We are becoming aware that we need to find our security internally rather than in external institutions. Instead of looking to our outer world to define and control us, we are increasingly taking personal responsibility to turn to our inner spirit to reveal who we are and why we are here. Our souls are uniting in a common desire to create a new sense of world order that resonates with the spiritual values that reside within the deepest level of our being. This desire is for a sense of order within our minds, not just in the conditions around us. We are longing for a life of self-respect and peace and are becoming mindful of the fact that these qualities are a reflection of our internal state of being, not of external conditions. We are yearning to reclaim our sense of self and our passion for life, and we are realizing these are things that can be found only inside of our hearts and minds, not in a material world outside of ourselves.

 

The crisis we are experiencing is an extremely encouraging indication.

 

What we are seeing is what we have thus far created together, largely in an unconscious way, through our thoughts and actions. We can perceive this crisis as social destruction and random confusion. On the other hand, we can choose to see our world in a new light. Indeed, the word crisis, defined by Webster as a turning point for the better or worse, is derived from the Greek root word, krisis, which literally means decision. We can decide to make this a turning point for the better by making a commitment to our own personal healing.

 

Although this may all sound a bit overwhelming, take a deep breath – we are all in this together. Each one of us can make a tremendous contribution to the healing of our world. Because we have all played a part in creating the physical reality we are presently experiencing, we each have the power to contribute to the healing of the world by healing our personal lives to integrate with the values of the unconditional love of Spirit. As we change our individual lives, the world around us changes as well.

 

So how do we navigate our personal lives to align with a “new world” of spiritual integrity?  We will discuss this in next week’s blog, Part Two, of “Are You Feeling Like Your World is Dramatically Shifting?”

 

Love and Light

 

Sandra

 

A portion of this message is an excerpt from the book, The Power of Oneness, Live the Life You Choose.  To learn more about how you can align your life with spiritual truth, order the book at http://www.thepowerofoneness.com/products/ 
The e-book version, regularly priced at $9.99 is presently being offered for only $1.99.

 

Are You Living In Your Spiritual Truth?

This is an image with the word TRUTH in bold with light shining behind it.

© Mark Carrel/Shutterstock.com



If you were attracted to this blog, chances are that you have often read and heard of the importance of  “living in your spiritual truth.” You may be at a point in your spiritual evolution where you are contemplating these words carefully and wondering – where do you actually “find” your spiritual truth?

 

There is a Hindu legend which says that at one point in time humanity had abused its divine powers so greatly that the gods convened to discuss what to do about it. They decided the best course of action was to remove it and hide it–but where? After careful consideration, they unanimously decided there was one place where divine power could be hidden where humans would never even think to look–deep within ourselves!

 

This story calls attention to the fact that spiritual truth is within each one of us and is discovered through our personal soul connection to Spirit. For ages we have looked outside of ourselves to find it, when, indeed, we have always had it inside of our hearts. Spiritual truth is not something we need to be taught–it is the memory of who we truly are and why we are here.  We access our truth through our intuition.

 

What is Intuition?

 

Intuition is our direct communications link to divine love and wisdom.  It is the inner voice constantly whispering messages that guide us to make choices that are in alignment with unconditional love of self and others. Because we are all one Spirit, what is in the greatest good for one of us is also in the greatest good of all of us. Intuition is our innate human power to instantaneously access universal intelligence without conscious reasoning. In essence, we are each a conduit for a constant stream of limitless wisdom flowing to us from the Universe. Because intuition is a right-brain function, it isn’t something we can analyze with our minds; rather it is something we sense with our hearts. We sometimes refer to these feelings as gut level, sixth sense, inner wisdom, inner knowing, and flashes of imagination.

 

How Do We Sense Intuition?

 

Many of us actually experience physical sensations when we hear or see something that coincides with our truth. You may suddenly get goose bumps, feel a tingling sensation, spontaneously take a deep breath, feel an electrical current going up your back, or sense an overall wave of energy. These sensations are indications that your mind and body are literally resonating with the energetic frequency of the truth of Spirit. You might also get physical indications when you are experiencing something that is not aligned with your truth. Usually, it is a contracted feeling, such as a knot in the stomach, a tight throat, shortness of breath, or a sudden chill.

 

Although we all sense it in different ways, and some of us deny sensing it at all, every person has intuition – it is part of our human nature! The reason it appears that not all of us have intuition is simply because some of us listen to and act upon our inner messages; whereas others simply dismiss them as insignificant. We many times ignore our intuition because we want to validate our intuitive messages with our left-brain logic and analysis. When we attempt to do this, we choke the flow of intuitive information spontaneously coming through to us because messages of the Spirit are coming from an infinitely larger perspective than the logical paradigms of the human mind.

 

What is the Difference Between Intuition and Impulse?

 

When we get an impulsive message, it is usually initiated by our ego in the form of a whim to obtain quick gratification, whether it is constructive for us or not.  Impulsive behavior is usually a superficial reaction that does not address our underlying genuine needs.  Our impulse may be to indulge in an addictive behavior, such as overeating, or running out to buy something that we do not really need or cannot afford.  If we stop and take a deep breath, we may realize that the true feelings beneath our behavior might be loneliness or anger.  Be gentle with yourself.  Whatever you are feeling is OK. We all react impulsively at times in our lives.  What is quite amazing is that when you are completely honest with yourself about your true feelings, you automatically restore your intuitive connection with the flow of spiritual truth!  Another way to discern the difference between impulse and intuition is that impulses usually pass if we wait for a little while or sleep on an idea.

 

Intuitive messages, on the other hand, are messages of Spirit that come through the soul guiding us to make choices that are aligned with kindness and love.  Because they are rooted in truth, intuitive messages are relentless and persistent.  Even when we ignore them, they have the tenacious habit of resurfacing time and time again.  When we listen to and act upon our intuitive messages, we generally feel peaceful and like we are in our correct space even when our “spiritual assignments” are very challenging.

 

Our intuitive connection is unconditionally available to us twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week; yet we are sometimes so frenzied by outer stimulation that we have to create a personal space of silence in order to move into a receptive frame of mind that enables us to listen.  This can be done through prayer and numerous types of meditation, or by doing things that are as simple as taking a deep breath, sitting still and focusing on your breath, taking a walk in nature, or taking a soothing, warm bath. We can use any technique we choose – the important thing is that we find a way to balance ourselves and become centered in a peaceful frame of mind so that we that we can become conscious of our intuitive messages.

 

While it is very enlightening to become aware of our need to tune into our spiritual truth through intuition, what is even more important is to develop the habit to constantly forgive ourselves when we forget our ability to connect with our inner divine wisdom.    

 

By doing this, we automatically move back into alignment with the flow of spiritual truth.  Because intuition connects us with our Oneness of Spirit, the messages it reveals to us are always rooted in unconditional love and pure truth. You can develop a sensitivity to perceiving these internal messages by listening, trusting, and acting upon them. The more you do this, the more you empower yourself to live in your spiritual truth.

 

Love and Light

 

Sandra

 

A portion of this message is an excerpt from the book, The Power of Oneness, Live the Life You Choose.  To learn more about how you can align your life with spiritual truth, order the book at http://www.thepowerofoneness.com/products/ 
The e-book version, regularly priced at $9.99 is presently being offered for only $1.99.

 

Welcome 2014! Another Year That Brings Forth Many Opportunities To Reinvent Ourselves

 

This is an image of year 2014 with an arrow pointing down a road toward light - as though we have the whole year ahead of us.

© Aslyson/ Shutterstock.com

 

As we begin yet another new year, we may beat ourselves up for not sticking with the previous year’s resolutions (uh oh – I didn’t keep my resolution to exercise every other day and/or to lose that 50 pounds!). This can lead to a sense of resignation about being able to achieve things in the New Year.

 

Studies consistently indicate that we tend to be extremely self-critical. Psychologist, Rick Hanson, states, “The mind is like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones.” That said, we also know that one of the best ways to motivate ourselves is by focusing on our accomplishments.  Since we tend to measure our successes from the previous year by only the “big things” we have achieved, we overlook the countless “little things” we’ve done that have added a lot of quality to our lives and the lives of others.

 

This is an image of the word negative crossed out and the the words Think Positive displayed

© Anson0618 / Shutterstock.com

 

 

For this reason, I encourage you to congratulate yourself for the many things you DID accomplish in 2013, like all the times you:

 

  • Were supportive of your child/children when you felt you didn’t have an ounce of patience left to do so
  • Listened attentively to your spouse or partner sharing a problem even when you were experiencing plenty of your own challenges
  • Went to work or finished a major project, giving it your all even though you were exhausted
  • Smiled and said “thank you” to someone who needed to hear it
  • Forgave someone who really hurt your feelings
  • Placed a phone call or sent an email to encourage someone even though you, yourself, were feeling discouraged
  • Offered encouragement to someone in pain even while you were experiencing your own pain
  • Volunteered to take time to help someone in need even though your calendar was jammed
  • Took the time to recycle even though it would have been a lot easier to just throw everything into the trash

 

I could go on and on – but you get the picture!

 

So this year, let’s do something different.  Make it your number one resolution to be kind to yourself and thank yourself for all that you’ve already accomplished.  You were and are amazing!

 

Drop a comment on this post to share what you’d like to thank yourself for today.

 

Love and Light

 

Sandra

 

How Can We Overcome Loneliness?

This is a black and white photograph of a little boy alone on a swing in the park

© vladm/shutterstock

If you are struggling with loneliness, you are not alone.

Every person experiences feelings of isolation from time to time.

 

 

Being alone and being lonely are not the same thing.  It is very healthy for each of us to create some “alone time” every day, away from the external commotion and daily demands of family and work.  Alone time, in this sense, feels good because we are honoring our need to nurture and regenerate ourselves through our mind/body connection with Spirit and to feel the peace that lies within the silence.

 

 

Feeling lonely, on the other hand, generally does not feel pleasant.  It is accompanied by a sense of sadness and disconnection from other people and life in general.  Being around a lot of people is not necessarily an antidote to loneliness.  In fact, loneliness can feel even more intense when we are in a crowd of people or in an unhappy personal relationship.  Ironically, even in our present world of technology  where millions of people can connect 24/7 via email, Facebook, and Twitter, we can still find ourselves feeling intensely lonely.  How can this be?

 

In order to understand why we are lonely, it is important

to become aware of what is causing it. 

 

 

Sometimes people choose to be loners because of childhood developmental factors:

 

    • If one has been abandoned by one or both parents, there is a strong tendency to be reluctant to commit to intimate relationships.

 

    • Being raised by critical or unaffectionate parents may cause a person to be emotionally withdrawn.

 

    • If one has been raised in a family environment of substance abuse, there is a likely tendency to become distrustful of others.

 

Even without these factors, some people feel innately disconnected and simply never learn to communicate well or have a low self-esteem and avoid socializing for fear of being rejected.

 

There are also many situational factors in life that can cause us to feel alone:

 

    • It could be that you are experiencing the deep, irreplaceable loss that comes with the death of a loved one.

 

    • Suffering from a disability or long-term disease can cause one to feel that no one else could possibly understand how much courage and endurance  it takes to just survive on a daily basis.

 

    • You may be experiencing the huge void that frequently comes with divorce, or you may be feeling alone in your exhaustive, seemingly never-ending search to find the ideal partner.

 

    • It can also feel very isolating to change jobs or to relocate to a new area, perhaps causing you to leave family and familiar friends and co-workers.

 

    • A financial set-back may leave you feeling that you are alone in a world with fewer choices than you once had.  Maybe some social setbacks have caused you to believe that no one else would be interested in your company.

 

Understanding the many factors that cause loneliness helps us to understand why all of us, at one time or another, feel like we are all by ourselves in a sea of humanity.  While any one and all of these situations and conditions are compelling reasons for feeling lonely, they are merely symptomatic of a much deeper loneliness that is being felt at a soul level by humanity at large.  We are longing, at a core level, to connect with something infinitely larger than ourselves and return to the Oneness of Spirit.

 

 The only way we can ultimately fill the void within our hearts

is through the energy of unconditional love.

 

 

So how can we heal our loneliness?

 

Pray and Meditate – Commit yourself to create at least 20 minutes of silence every day to pray and meditate.  This is essential in order to remember that, no matter what you are experiencing, you are unconditionally connected with Universal Love.       

 

Be compassionate and kind to yourself –  Let go of the self-judgment and allow yourself to just BE.  Every person on earth has “their story” of the infinite ways in which they are being challenged.  Life is not a pass/fail contest – it’s all about becoming whole.

 

Change what you can change – Be your own best friend and ask yourself what you most need to feel less lonely.  Would it help you to schedule more social time with friends?  Join a special interest organization?  Attend church?  Join a spiritual community?  Go to the health club?  Volunteer with a local charity?  Spend more time in nature?  Get an animal companion?  Whatever it is, be conscious of ways that you can best help yourself to enjoy life more and then act on it.

 

Accept what you cannot change –   While it is true that we don’t get to pick all the circumstances that challenge us in life, we can always choose the attitude with which we experience this spiritual journey.  Cultivating an attitude of focusing on the lesson rather than the problem will help you to maintain a positive attitude that will attract other people who have optimistic outlooks.

 

 

Most importantly, remember that you are NEVER ALONE.  We are all brothers and sisters walking this earth together, and we all have the same mission – to integrate our minds and bodies with the love of Spirit. Each of us is doing the best we know to do for now – in our own time – and in our own way.

 

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

 

10 Steps for Living a Sacred Life

This is the image of the word love written three times with colorful finger-paints

©Yanush/shutterstock

 

 

Our true life purpose is to live a sacred life by consistently expressing our spiritual values in all that we think, say, and do. 

 

 

 

10 Steps for Living a Sacred Life

 

 

1.   Honor the divinity within yourself, everyone, and everything.

 

Everyone and everything was created in divine love. Accordingly, align your thoughts, words, and deeds with kindness, respect, and cooperation.

 

 

2.   Accept people as they are without trying to change them to conform to your expectations.

 

The only way we can change others is through our own positive example.

 

 

3.   Forgive yourself and others.

 

Be compassionate toward yourself and others – It takes a great deal of courage for any one of us to be here.

 

 

4.   Recognize that we all have the same spiritual purpose – to receive and express unconditional love. 

 

You will remember this in your own unique way and in your own time. So will everyone else.

 

 

5.   Understand that it is not in your greatest good to judge or criticize anyone.

 

Whatever you criticize about someone else is an aspect, to a greater or lesser degree, that you need to heal within yourself.

 

 

6.   See life as a process of growth.

 

There are no failures. Every situation you experience and every person you meet is an opportunity for growth and greater insight to universal truth and love.

 

 

7.   Develop an attitude of gratitude.

 

Being thankful for everything and everyone is the most effective way to create peace and prosperity in your life.

 

 

8.   Remember we are all a part of the whole of existence.  

 

What affects one of us affects all of us. Take responsibility for the fact that your thoughts, words, and actions, and even your underlying motivations, are constantly impacting the entire world.

 

 

9.   Respect everything in the environment.

 

The way we take care of the earth is the way it takes care of us.

 

 

10.  Forgive yourself whenever you forget any of the above.

 

 

 

Excerpt from “The Power of Oneness, Live The Life You Choose”

What We See in Others is a Reflection of Ourselves

Cute image of an orange tabby kitten with a reflection of him in water

© Vaclav Volrab/shutterstock

 

You may have heard it before, but it is such a strong statement:  “We can only see things within others that we see within ourselves.”  I think this is one of the most challenging spiritual lessons we are here to learn.  When I first read this statement in a spiritual book many years ago, it seemed very odd to me.  Like most people, my first response was, “Surely, I do not act like a lot of people who annoy me and push my buttons.”   Interestingly, I find that when I facilitate spiritual classes, this statement typically elicits the same response from most others.

 

 

Everyone you meet is your mirror.  Why is that?

 

 

We come to understand ourselves best through our relationships with other people. We can only be triggered by something we have experienced ourselves. The traits we tend to dislike in others are usually the traits we do not like about ourselves.  We then tend to judge and criticize these characteristics.  This calls to mind the analogy of pointing a blaming finger at someone.  One finger is pointing at another person, and three are pointing back to ourselves.

 

 

When certain characteristics in someone’s personality trigger a negative reaction from you, there is something within you that is coming up because it is ready to be healed.  Usually, it represents issues from your past that have gone unresolved. An example of this would be constantly attracting people who betray you in close relationships because you have not dealt with a parental abandonment issue from your past. What you are seeing is a manifestation of your belief that you cannot trust anyone with your feelings. Here is another example:  You are someone who has a constant need to prove to others that you are “right.”  Chances are you will attract people who strongly disagree with you because they also have the need to convince others to see life from their perspective.  Also, if you dislike controlling people, most likely you dislike some bossy tendencies within yourself.

 

 

Every person we meet in life is showing up at the perfect time in our lives to reflect something we need to heal within ourselves. The people with whom you interact are showing you who you are and ultimately providing you with an opportunity to love yourself. Since our mission is to discover what we don’t love and learn to love it, the people who get on our nerves the most are among our greatest teachers.

 

 

When you find yourself triggered by a person or situation, ask yourself the following questions: 

 

 

 

    •    “What is this person teaching me that I need to learn to become more whole?” 

 

    •    “Do I behave like this now?”

 

    •    “Did I behave like this in the past?”

 

 

Believe it or not, forgiving YOURSELF is the most effective way to disengage from negative interactions with people.  We can only love and accept others to the degree that we love and accept ourselves.  When you make it a habit to learn from your relationships, eventually you will discover that you can observe negative traits within others without judgment and without getting hooked into someone else’s drama.  If you discover that you are in a relationship with someone who habitually abuses you in some way, it is sometimes healthy to limit your exposure to that person or to avoid their company completely.  This serves you well only after you have embraced the lessons that you have seen reflected to you through the relationship, followed by choosing to forgive yourself and the other person.

 

 

The good news is that the desirable behaviors we see in others is also a reflection of ourselves.  When we predominantly choose thoughts of love, we live in a reality of love.  In other words, as we focus on our light within, we bring out the light within others.

 

 

We came to this earth to return to the remembrance that we are ONE. Everyone we meet has come into our path to help us to remember this.

 

 

Do you find it challenging to believe that what you see in others is a reflection of you?  I welcome your thoughts.

 

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

Mother’s Day – A Perfect Day for Healing

This is an image of a mother holding her child above her head at sunset

© Konstantin Sutyagin/shutterstock

 

 

Mother’s Day is just around the corner.  Mother’s Day, a holiday proclaimed by President Woodrow Wilson in 1914,  is a day of celebration in which we honor mothers, motherhood, and maternal bonds. The power and influence of mothers and maternal figures in our personal lives and in our society is beyond measure.  Mothers and grandmothers are the core strength of the home, the creators of life, the nurturers of children, our first teachers, our female role models, and our indispensable companions. Most importantly, when we think of a mother’s love, we frequently think of the unconditional boundless love that is the closest human expression of divine love.

 

 

Mother’s Day, like all holidays, elicits different feelings for each one of us.  Whether we think our mothers did a “good” job or a “bad” job of raising us, the truth is that our mothers played an enormous role in helping us to form our system of values, sense of self, foundation of security, and, in general, the initial foundation for all of our perceptions in life.

 

 

Some of us were fortunate to be raised by mothers or mother figures who were confident, strong, and a model of unconditional love.  If this is the case, the mere mention of the word “mother” conjures up feelings of warmth, nurturing and safety. If you are one of these people, Mother’s Day is a joyful day where you are inspired to cherish and appreciate your mother and buying a card, giving a hug, and saying “I love you”  feels completely natural.

 

 

If your mother has passed on, this may be an especially sad time of year as you recognize that losing a mom creates a void that no one else can fill in your life.  Who could ever understand you, unconditionally accept you, and always love you the way your mother did?

 

 

And then there are others who have had a vastly different experience. There are many people who attribute the root cause of most of their pain and problems to their mothers. In working with clients over many years in my spiritual healing practice, I discovered that blaming our mothers for our shortcomings is the deepest underlying issue for almost every major healing issue: mental, emotional, and physical.  In fact, I observed that our mothers have so much influence in our lives that when a mother would heal a painful issue, the child (whether young, middle age, or old) was automatically positively affected; and, conversely, when the child (of any age) would heal, the mother would also be positively affected.

 

 

From a spiritual perspective, the soul of a child chooses his or her mother, and the mother chooses the child.  Because our life journey is all about becoming whole, we choose parents from whom we learn what we most need to know – we fulfill these lessons in both positive and negative ways.  If, for example, our mothers did not praise us very much, it could be that our souls needed to remember that we get our genuine validation from within ourselves – not from external sources.  On the other side of the coin, mothers learn just as much from their children.  For example, a child with learning differences may be teaching a mother all about patience and acceptance.

 

 

The single most important factor that affects our relationships with our mothers is our own attitude.  As children, we typically had great expectations of all the qualities we wanted our mothers to have — we wanted her to be our Rock of Gibraltar, the model of an ideal woman, have the patience of Job, and express the love of an angel.  As we mature, we need to accept that our mothers are human and that they have had to deal with issues that were passed on to them by their parents. I truly believe that most mothers love to the best of their capacity and want the very best for their children.  I also think most mothers would agree that motherhood is simultaneously the both most difficult and rewarding job in all the world.

 

 

Unconditionally accepting our mothers for who they are (or were) is our greatest lesson in compassion and forgiveness. Since we are inextricably connected with our mothers, forgiving them for their shortcomings and for falling short of our expectations is the same thing as forgiving ourselves for carrying forward any unhealthy patterns which need to be healed.  And when you think about it, who better than our mothers to teach us this magnificent lesson.

 

 

Happy Mother’s Day!

 

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

From Clutter to Clarity

 

This is an image of a clear deck overlooking green grass and a clear blue sky

© Skylines/shutterstock

 

Time to spring clean our lives?

 

Happy spring! This is the time of year when nature demonstrates the miracle of regeneration and renewal. The days are brighter and longer, and we begin to see new growth everywhere as brown grass turns green, bare trees regain their leaves, and flowers push through the soil and blossom. Sensing the invigorating energy of spring reminds many of us of the need to revitalize our personal environment.  It may very well be the time to do some spring cleaning within our lives!

 

About two years ago I made a conscious commitment to simplify my life and decided to do a major downsize of all my material possessions. I had thought about it for many years, but I knew the time had come to move past feeling overwhelmed and take action. I was actually feeling physically bogged down by all the stuff that had accumulated during the 23 years my husband and I lived in our home. Our house was clean and organized, but I constantly had the cumbersome awareness that we had too much of everything. While I knew that de-cluttering and downsizing would involve a lot of time and energy, I had no idea what an enormous impact this project would have on my life; emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually.

 

The process of de-cluttering, downsizing, and simplifying my life was such a life transforming experience that I would like to share with you some of the many things I learned in the process. Hopefully, my recount of this experience will inspire you to stop procrastinating and take action on that long overdue decision to move out of clutter and into clarity.

 

Consciously surround yourself with things

that make you feel good.

 

Emotionally: I came to realize that clearing space can help to heal emotions. Material things actually hold energy of past memories and events. Sorting through your things is the ideal time to acknowledge the many emotions that are associated with the material objects surrounding you.  I found that allowing myself to feel the nostalgia was very healing and allowed me the choice to let go of the past and become more available to the present moment. Downsizing and de-cluttering affords you the opportunity to consciously decide to surround yourself with things that make you feel good. I also discovered that sorting through my “stuff” was a very special time to express profound gratitude for everything and anything. I realized that both the positive and negative experiences helped to make me who I am. Then there was the wonderful quality of generosity in donating and sharing items that I no longer wanted or needed. Words cannot describe the joy I felt in asking my children to choose what was special to them; driving around and dropping off items at homeless shelters; and donating furniture, blankets, clothes, bedding, and towels to veterans organizations, animal shelters, and thrift shops.

 

Mentally: I became aware that we need to clear our minds, as well as our physical surroundings, in order to be peaceful. Though we tend to associate clutter with material things, we live in a world where our minds are immersed in an endless sea of communication overload: emails, voicemails, text messages, faxes, computer games, and the list goes on and on. It feels like everywhere we turn, we are inundated with information, requests for an immediate response, and overall mental stimulation. I decided to create some time every day, away from technology, to be with nature; or, at the very least, to sanction an hour each day to be in a peaceful, quiet space where I can simply take some deep breaths and clear my head.

 

Physically:  I became aware that it was much more relaxing to be in a room with “less stuff.” The things that I had chosen to take with me to my new home were only the things that I either liked, needed, or wanted. When I sorted through my belongings, I asked myself three questions:

 

          1. Do I need this?

          2. Do I like this?

          3. Have I used or looked at this within the past two years?

 

If the answer to any one of these questions was, “no,” I knew I was kidding myself about needing to hold onto it. I also came to realize just how temporary situations in life tend to be. Sorting through massive amounts of paperwork was a particularly poignant example of this. Many papers that at one time contained important information had become obsolete. If also felt good to get these papers out of my personal space and back into the mainstream through the process of recycling.

 

Getting rid of clutter frees the soul.

 

Spiritually: I discovered that getting rid of clutter frees the soul. Clearing your physical space actually brings in more light and opens you to a whole new world of possibilities. Whether we are aware of it or not, it takes a lot of time and energy to maintain, look at, use, move around, and store “our stuff.” Freeing up this energy creates a void. Since the nature of life is to fill voids, open space is the optimal environment in which to be creative. Without so many visual distractions, we can look at life from a new point of view. It is literally easier to breathe in a clear, uncluttered environment.

 

While I have shared all the positive aspects of de-cluttering my life, I must, in full disclosure, share that this process of downsizing and moving was one of the most physically demanding projects I have ever tackled. It was a huge undertaking because I chose to truly downsize (I donated, recycled, or trashed about 2/3 of my physical belongings) to move to a smaller, more manageable home. Even the enormity of the project proved to be a spiritual lesson because I realized the power of teamwork and cooperation. Many of my friends and family members pitched in to give me tremendous assistance. Note: Do NOT attempt to downsize by yourself!

 

That being said, deciding to downsize and de-clutter my life is proving to be one of the most healthy choices I have ever made. Because I don’t have to clean, maintain, and deal with so many things, I have more time to spend with friends and to do things I enjoy. I feel more healthy, more creative, and free. Most importantly, when I wake up in the morning, I no longer feel that awful cloud above my head reminding me to clean up my life. I have finally honored my commitment to myself to “lighten up.” Like spring, I am in the cycle of regeneration and renewal.

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra