listen | Self-Help Books

This is an image of a chalkboard with colorful chalk that says, "Follow Your Intuition"

Living a life of spiritual integrity requires that make we make decisions and choose perceptions that align with our inner spiritual wisdom. This sounds rather simple, but how do we access our inner wisdom?

Many of us associate the thought of accessing inner wisdom in an esoteric way, such as: going into a lengthy and deep meditation in an isolated environment; seeking seclusion in a monastery; spending time in a distant place such as an ashram; or, at the very least, needing to be completely alone in a quiet place. While all of these techniques are highly effective in accessing spiritual wisdom, the truth is that every human being has the ability to instantaneously and directly access the universal field of intelligence from wherever we are, at any time, and all of the time through intuition. In essence, we are each a conduit for a constant stream of limitless wisdom.

One of the definitions of intuition is, “the immediate knowing of something without the conscious use of reasoning. Because intuition is a right-brain function, it isn’t something we can analyze with our minds. Intuitive messages bypass the judgment of the mind and come directly through to the heart, thus the saying, “the truth is within.”

How Do We Perceive Intuition?

Because intuitive messages come through the heart, they are perceived through our senses. These feelings are sometimes described as “gut level,” “sixth sense,” “inner wisdom,” “inner knowing,” and “flashes of imagination.” Many of us actually experience physical sensations when we hear or see something that coincides with our truth. We may suddenly get goose bumps, feel a tingling sensation, spontaneously take a deep breath, feel an electrical current going up our backs, or sense an overall wave of energy moving throughout the body. These sensations are indications that our bodies are literally resonating with the energetic frequency of the truth of spirit. We can also get physical indications when something we are hearing or seeing is not truth. Usually it is a contracted feeling, such as a knot in the stomach or throat, shortness of breath, or a sudden chill.

Every person has intuition.

Although we all sense it in different ways, and some of us even deny sensing it at all, every person has intuitive abilities–it is part of our human nature.

The reason it appears that not all of us are intuitive is simply because some of us listen to and act upon our inner messages, whereas others simply dismiss them as insignificant. We many times ignore our intuition because we want to validate our intuitive messages with our left-brain logic and analysis. When we attempt to do this, we choke the spontaneous flow of wisdom coming through to us because messages of spirit are infinitely larger than the logical paradigms of the mind. An example of this is getting an intuitive message to write a book and rationalizing all the reasons why it is not a “good idea” before exploring all the possibilities of why it is possible.

How can we distinguish the difference between “intuitive feelings” and “impulsive feelings?”

When we get an impulsive message, it is usually initiated by our ego in the form of a whim to immediately do something, whether it is in our greatest good or not. Our impulse may be to indulge in an addictive behavior, such as overeating, or to run out and buy something we neither need nor can afford. If it is an impulse, chances are we will change our minds if we wait for a while or sleep on the idea. Also we are likely to feel guilty or unfulfilled after acting impulsively.

Intuitive messages, on the other hand, are relentless and persistent. Even when we ignore them, they have the tenacious habit of resurfacing time and time again. Intuitive messages are always in our best interests, causing us to feel uplifted and fulfilled. Because intuition connects us with our Oneness of Spirit, the messages it reveals to us are always rooted in unconditional love and pure truth. We develop our ability to perceive intuitive messages by listening, trusting, and acting upon them. The more we do this, the more we empower ourselves to live our lives with spiritual integrity.

Love and Light,

Sandra

It seems that everywhere we turn, most people are

talking and very few are actually listening.

A few days ago a dear friend called me to say, “Hello.” Shortly into the conversation, I sensed a twinge of pain in the tone of her voice. When I asked her if everything was okay, she opened up and expressed that she was feeling a lot of frustration from speaking to her sister on the phone the previous day. My friend explained that she had called her sister to discuss an emotionally challenging situation. “My sister just talked over me and never heard a word I said,” lamented my friend. “What hurts most is that I just wanted to talk through my situation with someone who loves me and who could acknowledge my feelings.”

Does this sound familiar?

It is understandable that most people are not clear enough to listen because the majority of us are walking around with unexpressed feelings. Coping with the ordinary and extraordinary challenges of life can tap us out emotionally, mentally, and physically. Since it is not socially acceptable to cry at work, hit someone with whom we are angry, or to scream in public, many times we just bury our feelings. The problem with this is that repressing our feelings can create a reservoir of pain that can eventually fuel an emotional outburst at an inappropriate time and place that is not even relevant to the original situation. Or, even worse, we can continue to keep our feelings locked inside, which many times results in some form of dis-ease.

What most of us are really craving is simply to be heard!

I have come to the conclusion that listening is an art, and like most artistic expression, it needs to be developed and practiced in order to become good at it. Creating a non-judgmental, open space of communication that allows one person to talk while the other just listens is spiritually referred to as “holding the space.” In the world of psychological counseling, it is referred to as “reflective listening.”

Listening without judgment is an act of self-love.

Holding a non-judgmental space to listen to another person’s expression of feelings is not an act of selflessness. In fact, it is an act of self-love that helps to free you from being attached to other people’s issues. It is an exercise in letting go of our own ego, rising above the drama, and extending the utmost respect for others by acknowledging that we each have the inner wisdom to provide the answers to our own questions. Since what we project is what we attract, chances are that when you practice being a good listener, someone will be there to hear you in your time of need.

The following are guidelines to assist you in holding the

space for another by being a good listener.

1. Make an agreement between yourself and the speaker. Only one person talks at a time while the other simply listens. Give your complete, undivided attention to the person who is talking. If this is an in-person discussion, it is ideal to maintain eye contact.

2. Be fair to yourself. Agree that there will be no personal attacks – you are there to listen to feelings, not to be verbally abused.

3. Tap into an inner sense of stillness that enables you to be an observer of the conversation, rather than a participant in the drama.

4. Neutralize the space by choosing not to interpret anything that is being said as a personal attack. This is easy to do when you remember the truth that what people project onto others is a reflection of how they feel about themselves – not you.

5. Let go of all judgement. There is no need for you to “fix” anything. The person who is expressing their feelings is usually not seeking any answers from you. In fact, many times the person who is talking becomes aware of their own resolutions after they have had an opportunity to clear their emotions through expression.

6. When you have allowed a period of listening time that is fair for both you and the other person, bring the conversation to a gentle close by summarizing aloud your perceptions of the feelings that have been expressed to you. For example, you could say something like, “So I am hearing you say that you feel sad, frustrated, angry, etc.” This reinforces that we have, indeed, been listening.

7. Remain unattached to how things unfold. We all have our own lessons to learn in our own unique ways.

Holding space for another is a profound way to bring more love to the world because we are listening with our hearts. If we each had someone to listen to our feelings in an open space of no judgement, we would more easily experience personal peace. And if more of us were feeling peaceful, what a bright world this would be!

Do you have any suggestions or experiences you would like to share regarding holding space? We would love to hear from you!

Love and Light,

Sandra

Tag Archives: listen

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