In my last blog we discussed how essential it is to build your life on the foundation of self-love. This may have sparked an awareness within you that has caused you to realize that, for the most part, you have not been treating yourself very well and that you have primarily placed everyone else’s needs ahead of your own.
This may have been a pattern of behavior for your entire life, so what if you want to change and adopt a whole new way of thinking that focuses on the ideal of self-love? Where do you begin?
As always, awareness is the first step in healing any area of our lives, so congratulations on becoming conscious of an area of your life which you are ready to heal!
The following are some simple steps that can help you shift your focus from being self-less to self-loving:
1. Forgive yourself – There is no point in beating yourself up for all the times you can recall acting out a martyr role or sacificing your own basic needs in order to accommodate someone else. If you are like most people, you have simply been acting out what you have seen modeled or taught to you by your parents, caregivers, teachers, and other important people in your childhood. Beating yourself up is exactly what you need to stop doing!
2. Be in Present Time – It does not matter where or from whom you developed your belief systems. Blaming others for what we believe in life is counter-productive and continues to perpetuate the same patterns of behavior. If you want to change, let go of the past. You only have the power to choose your own perceptions when you are in present time.
3. Create the Time and Space to Regenerate Yourself – Make it a priority to schedule a period of at least 20 minutes every day to nurture yourself. The key word here is “create.” Build this time into your schedule and commit to it as you would any other appointment. It could be first thing in the morning as you read an inspiring piece of literature while you have a cup of coffee, or you could choose to do a meditation that is as simple as closing your eyes and taking deep breaths. If you prefer the evening, take a soothing, warm bath or take a walk by yourself. Choose whatever activity nourishes your soul. The important thing is that you are being kind to yourself by acknowledging your own need to regenerate.
4. Base Your Decisions On Your Own Values – Rather than making choices motivated by the need to please others, get in touch with your own feelings regarding what is important in your life. For example, you may make a conscious decision to spend more quality time with your spouse or partner rather than spend more time at work. The objective is to make choices that support your priorities in life – not to make everyone happy.
5. Trust Your Intuition – Allow your intuition to guide you in making choices. Your intuition is the universal wisdom that comes to you through spontaneous thoughts and feelings. You may sense it in many ways; gut level feelings, a feeling of warmth, or a sense of expansion or energy. Since intuitive messages are coming from your Higher Self, the insights you are receiving are rooted in love. Trusting your intuition will guide you to make choices that inspire you.
6. Affirm Self-Love – “I deeply and completely love and accept myself” is one of the most powerful statements you can ever affirm. Say it out loud or repeat it quietly to yourself. Affirm it in any situation, and all the time, especially when you are feeling unloved. It does not matter whether you believe it when you say it – you will come to believe it. We change our belief systems by first choosing to think differently.
7. Forgive Yourself – Here we are again – full cycle. Even though you are committing yourself to a healthy new way of thinking and acting, there will be many times when you think, say, or do things that are not kind to yourself. This is the perfect time to forgive yourself and get right back on track with the guidelines above.
Loving, respecting, and honoring yourself means you are projecting your energy to others from a radiant heart.
As within, so without. The way you feel about yourself will be the way you feel about everyone else.
Love and Light,