Looking Through the Eyes of Love

This is the image of two hands coming together with the sky in the background making the shape of a heart

© 2jenn/shutterstock.com

Have you ever had times when every one and every thing is agitating you and you feel like what you most need is a vacation from people in general?

 

On a typical day, we all have an infinite number of opportunities to react to situations that trigger our own fears and insecurities. The driver who suddenly cuts in front of your car may spark you to react with an angry gesture; a work associate who adamantly disagrees with you may cause you to be overtly defensive of your own point of view; being on the receiving end of someone hurling cruel words may cause you to retaliate with a vengeful response; or experiencing a food server with a negative attitude may cause you to respond in an unkind, judgmental manner.

 

When you react to someone else’s fearful words and actions with the same defensive energy, you are perpetuating separation and adding to the negative energy of the situation.  This ultimately results in everyone’s feelings being hurt, as well as a serious breakdown in communication.  When you find yourself in a reactive mode and feeling pulled into other people’s dramas, it is a sure sign that it is time to expand your perspectives to focus on more than just your own personal reality.

 

Perspective is the overall viewpoint from which we see our world. We don’t actually see our perspectives.  We look at life through our perspectives, much the same as we see through a pair of eyeglasses. While we cannot control everything that happens in our lives, each of us is responsible for choosing how we want to interpret and respond to life events and situations.  If we change one letter in the spelling of the word responsible–to responseABLE–we are reminded that we are able to choose our responses to life. Since our responses are based on our perspectives, we are each able to change how we experience life in an instant by changing the lens through which we view our life experiences.  Ultimately, we have a choice:  We can view life from the perspective of fear, which results in mindlessly and defensively reacting to the negative energy of people and situations; or we can learn and grow from every person we meet and every situation we encounter by changing our view of life to see through the eyes of love.

 

Looking through the eyes of love is a conscious choice to perceive people and their situations with compassion and understanding. When you exercise compassion, you are empathetic because you are able to sense the feelings that are motivating another person’s actions, rather than judging their obvious outward behavior. Rather than focusing only on your own personal situation, compassion enables you to see a situation from the other person’s perspective as well. It is through compassion and understanding that you can resonate with another person’s feelings by remembering that, just like you, every single human being you will ever meet is also experiencing pain, sickness, and loss in their lives. You also begin to stop taking people’s reactions so personally – the way someone acts is a projection of how they feel about themselves – not an evaluation of your self-worth.

 

Choosing to perceive life through compassion and understanding, rather than judgment and defensive reaction, opens us up to a whole new vista of life.  It is like looking through a special pair of eyeglasses that enables you to have an emotional x-ray vision that can see the issues of fear that are motivating someone’s negative and offensive behaviors. The person who cuts in front of your car may be going through a divorce; the work associate who relentlessly argues with you may have a serious mental imbalance; the person who is speaking to you with unkind words may have just lost her job; and the restaurant server who had a negative attitude may have just gone through the loss of a loved one.

 

I experienced the value of perceiving a situation in a compassionate way a couple of years ago when I was waiting in the checkout line of a local grocery store. The cashier appeared to be rude as she haphazardly threw the purchased items into bags and never once looked up to smile or greet any of the customers.  I was fourth in line, and the annoyance and judgment of each person who preceded me intensified as the line progressed forward.  When it was my turn to be waited on, I gently asked a simple question:  “Are you having a difficult day?”  The woman who was cashiering looked up and stared at me, her eyes brimming with tears.  “It is more than a difficult day – I am so upset I can hardly breathe. Today marks the one-year anniversary of the day my daughter was killed in a car crash.  She was only 4 years old.  I don’t know how I can even live through today.”  My heart ached for this woman, and I found myself giving her a long, spontaneous hug.  “Thank you for understanding,” she replied. As I left the grocery store, I was so thankful that I had not judged the cashier and had taken an extra minute to ask her that simple question.

 

When we choose to look at people and situations through the eyes of love, we are acknowledging that we are all emotionally vulnerable and that every one of us is  experiencing tremendous challenges in negotiating our spiritual journey here on earth. Not only are we being kind to others, it is also one of the most self-fulfilling ways to honor our own soul.

 

I welcome you to share ways in which you are aware that your perspective has greatly influenced your relationships with others.

 

Love and Light

 

Sandra

 

The Person You Most Want To Be Is Who You Already Are

Text of the word Beautiful with YOU highlighted

© Wiktoria Pawlak/shutterstock

Do you ever find yourself using other people as a point of reference for establishing your identity?  For assessing your value as a person?  For measuring your level of accomplishments? 

 

 

 
Most of us do this at one time or another, and perhaps even most of the time.  Looking around and comparing yourself to others ultimately results in a game of self-judgment. You may decide that someone else is more beautiful, thinner, more important, healthier, more successful, wealthier, happier, and more powerful than you are. Of course, this may be true; but it is completely futile and irrelevant because the person you most want to be is who you already are!  We all have special gifts, and the whole point to your life is to explore the many facets of yourself.

 

 

 
This essential point became very apparent to me when I was recently attending a numerology course.  I use the example of numerology because numbers are objective.  Also, it is a widely accepted scientific and metaphysical premise that everything and everyone is a vibration of energy, and vibrations are numbers.  What is so beautiful about perceiving people through the lens of numerology is that it made me realize that everyone, in all the world, is special. We each have a particular name and a specific time that we are born to this world. 

 

 

 
These very personal factors have an enormous impact on your soul’s mission, how you think, your personality, and your life lessons. This is so amazing!  There is no “right” or “wrong” way to be who you are!  In fact, YOU are the ONLY person who can be the expression of your soul.  We were all born in the energy of unconditional love, and you are here to be the exquisitely unique expression of the energy you were destined to bring to this lifetime.  Your life purpose, the color of your eyes and hair, the shape of your body, your brain, your emotions, your talents, the people whom you attract into your world of experience, as well as how you experience life, are all expressions of the very special version of who you were born to be. Even your challenges in life have been designed by the Universe to keep you on track with becoming more Whole.  For example, if your soul’s mission in this lifetime is to become more open to change, you may find that you are presented with many situations that require you to be very flexible and willing to grow.  

 

 

 
Who you are is not determined by how you compare to other people.  Your True Self is the remembrance that you originated from the energy of Universal Love.  Because love is creative, it is expressed in many ways.  Each one of us has an innate talent and predominant gift to offer, whether it is in “loud” or “quiet” ways.  Your mission could be to be a peacemaker, to be of service to humanity, to create the foundation from which to build new ideas and forms, to be musical and artistic, to be a pillar of love for family and humanity, to be adventuresome, to bring revolutionary ideas into being, to be a messenger who brings the light of spiritual truth to the world, or all of these and even more!

 

 

One of the most effective ways you can live in your truth is to consciously align the decisions of your mind with the spiritual values of your heart. Follow your intuition and accept how the gift of your presence naturally unfolds every moment of every day by having the courage to be yourself. You are not here to win a popularity vote! Contrary to our inclination to think that we are “not enough,” there is nothing you need to add to make yourself more of your True Self. Spiritual healing is simply a matter of shedding the many layers of fear that you have used to cover up the perfection of your core being.

 

 

 
It reminds me of what Michelangelo said when he was asked to explain how he was guided to sculpt
the “Pieta”:

 

 

 

“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.”

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

 

What is the Difference Between Conditional Love and Unconditional Love?

This is an image of a heart shaped cloud in the sky

© LilKar/shutterstock

 

 

Love – This is a word that is very frequently used in every language to describe our emotions ranging from something as relatively trite, such as, “I love your shoes,” to something as deeply significant as a mother saying, “I love you” to a child in the most vulnerable moment.

 

 

Is there really a difference between conditional love and unconditional love? 

 

 

The answer is, yes.

 

 

What is conditional love?

 

 

Conditional love is a polarized emotion, meaning that it has an opposite emotion.  The opposite extreme of love is hatred.  Conditional love comes from ego and  generally focuses on someone (like a romantic partner, child, parent, friend)  or some thing (like a house, a car, or a job).  When we love someone conditionally, we tend to want them to look, act, and think in ways that fit our own paradigms and expectations.  We hold others accountable to our expectations in order to qualify for our affection.  If they act the way we want them to, we express our approval; if they act contrary to our wishes, we withhold our expression of acceptance of them, usually in some form of anger.  Conditional love polarizes our internal thought process to believe, “I am right, and you are wrong, so I think you should see things my way.”  As soon as begin to judge someone as being right or wrong, it is our cue that we are not in a space of unconditional love because we are perceiving that we are the authority for someone else’s life.  This ultimately results in a power play for everyone involved because it focuses on control, which typically elicits a defensive reaction from the people whom we are trying to change.

 

 

Another version of conditional love is passion, a term we use for the sexual feelings we have when we meet someone with whom we have “chemistry.”  The term “falling in love” is a revealing expression indicating that we sometimes lose ourselves when we are involved in a passionate romantic relationship based on conditional love. Possibly, this is because we are looking for another person to complete us rather than looking to share our whole self with another. “Looking for our other half” is a statement that strongly indicates we are seeking to make ourselves whole through someone else, rather than working on ourselves to become more of who we truly are.

 

 

When someone acts in a way that vastly deviates from our expectations or does something to hurt us or someone we care about, we can transform the emotion of conditional love to the complete opposite end of the spectrum – hatred.  Hatred is a very strong emotion that is rooted in fear.  Hatred is extremely destructive and wreaks havoc on our mental, emotional, and physical well being.

 

 

What is Unconditional Love?

 

 

Unconditional love is neutral and has no opposite polarity.  The source of unconditional love is Spirit; therefore it is available to everyone without discernment, and there is absolutely nothing we need to do to qualify for it.  Unconditional love comes through to us at a soul level, beginning at the level of self-acceptance and self-forgiveness, and radiates divine light to everyone and everything.  When we make a conscious decision to choose thoughts based on unconditional love, it does not mean that we agree with everyone and everything.  It means that we consciously commit ourselves to expressing respect, kindness, and cooperation to everyone and everything in our environment.

 

 

Unconditional love is not something that happens to us or outside of us.  It is the life force of energy within our very being and is ingrained in every cell of our bodies.  We don’t have to search for love–we ARE, each one of us, the physical embodiment of unconditional love.  Because unconditional love is life energy, it is formless, infinite, constantly in motion, and unconditionally available to us 24/7!

 

 

Unconditional love has a positive effect on our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual state of being, creating truth, joy, beauty, health, harmony, and everything in the world that is in our greatest good.  The benevolent, compassionate nature of universal love flows through us and blesses everyone and everything it touches.

 

 

When we open our hearts to receiving and expressing the love of the universe, we feel expansive and radiant.  We automatically rise above the limitations of fear because unconditional love is infinitely more powerful than fear; in fact, unconditional love is the most powerful force in existence.  There is no amount of darkness that can blot out light; yet the tiniest amount of light can overcome darkness. This means that no matter how dark and chaotic our lives may seem at times, we can find comfort in knowing that our earthly world is always held within an infinitely larger context of universal love and light.

 

 

Remembering that we are each created in the energy of divine love gives us great inspiration and renewed hope that we each have the power to bring our own unique expression of unconditional love to the world, which brings healing to everyone and everything we touch.

 

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

 

What We See in Others is a Reflection of Ourselves

Cute image of an orange tabby kitten with a reflection of him in water

© Vaclav Volrab/shutterstock

 

You may have heard it before, but it is such a strong statement:  “We can only see things within others that we see within ourselves.”  I think this is one of the most challenging spiritual lessons we are here to learn.  When I first read this statement in a spiritual book many years ago, it seemed very odd to me.  Like most people, my first response was, “Surely, I do not act like a lot of people who annoy me and push my buttons.”   Interestingly, I find that when I facilitate spiritual classes, this statement typically elicits the same response from most others.

 

 

Everyone you meet is your mirror.  Why is that?

 

 

We come to understand ourselves best through our relationships with other people. We can only be triggered by something we have experienced ourselves. The traits we tend to dislike in others are usually the traits we do not like about ourselves.  We then tend to judge and criticize these characteristics.  This calls to mind the analogy of pointing a blaming finger at someone.  One finger is pointing at another person, and three are pointing back to ourselves.

 

 

When certain characteristics in someone’s personality trigger a negative reaction from you, there is something within you that is coming up because it is ready to be healed.  Usually, it represents issues from your past that have gone unresolved. An example of this would be constantly attracting people who betray you in close relationships because you have not dealt with a parental abandonment issue from your past. What you are seeing is a manifestation of your belief that you cannot trust anyone with your feelings. Here is another example:  You are someone who has a constant need to prove to others that you are “right.”  Chances are you will attract people who strongly disagree with you because they also have the need to convince others to see life from their perspective.  Also, if you dislike controlling people, most likely you dislike some bossy tendencies within yourself.

 

 

Every person we meet in life is showing up at the perfect time in our lives to reflect something we need to heal within ourselves. The people with whom you interact are showing you who you are and ultimately providing you with an opportunity to love yourself. Since our mission is to discover what we don’t love and learn to love it, the people who get on our nerves the most are among our greatest teachers.

 

 

When you find yourself triggered by a person or situation, ask yourself the following questions: 

 

 

 

    •    “What is this person teaching me that I need to learn to become more whole?” 

 

    •    “Do I behave like this now?”

 

    •    “Did I behave like this in the past?”

 

 

Believe it or not, forgiving YOURSELF is the most effective way to disengage from negative interactions with people.  We can only love and accept others to the degree that we love and accept ourselves.  When you make it a habit to learn from your relationships, eventually you will discover that you can observe negative traits within others without judgment and without getting hooked into someone else’s drama.  If you discover that you are in a relationship with someone who habitually abuses you in some way, it is sometimes healthy to limit your exposure to that person or to avoid their company completely.  This serves you well only after you have embraced the lessons that you have seen reflected to you through the relationship, followed by choosing to forgive yourself and the other person.

 

 

The good news is that the desirable behaviors we see in others is also a reflection of ourselves.  When we predominantly choose thoughts of love, we live in a reality of love.  In other words, as we focus on our light within, we bring out the light within others.

 

 

We came to this earth to return to the remembrance that we are ONE. Everyone we meet has come into our path to help us to remember this.

 

 

Do you find it challenging to believe that what you see in others is a reflection of you?  I welcome your thoughts.

 

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra