Choosing to Have the Courage to Be Yourself

This is an image of a bright blue sky with beautiful clouds with the the word Courage written into the clouds

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Ironically, one of the greatest fears we humans have is that we will be vulnerable if we express our true self to the world.  In an attempt to “protect” ourselves, we many times project emotions which we do not authentically feel, display behaviors which are designed to please others, and say things we don’t really mean.

 

 

Why do we do this? 

 

 

We live in a society in which we are conditioned to focus primarily on outer stimulation. From earliest childhood, many of us were taught by well-intentioned parents, teachers, and caregivers to define ourselves by what other people think of us.  Seeking the approval of others quickly became the major motivation for most of our behavior patterns, starting very early in the lives of many of us.  As a result, we may have developed a belief system that our self-worth is determined by the opinions of others rather than learning to develop our own sense of self-esteem based on inner values.  Unless we became aware of this perception and chose to change it, we most likely continued to perpetuate this belief into adulthood.  

 

 

Why does this cause pain in our lives?

 

 

One of the tenets of the Universal Law of Manifestation is that we attract what we project.  Accordingly, if we do not project our authentic selves, we will not attract responses from other people that align with who we truly are.  For example, most of us have been in numerous life situations where we have knocked ourselves out trying to please someone by being the selfless mother, father, spouse, sibling, or friend.  We emotionally gave and gave until eventually we felt depleted.  We were desperately seeking approval for our heroic deeds.  When we did not get back what we considered an appropriate response, we felt totally unappreciated and, perhaps, even rejected.  This seemingly selfless approach is far from selfless because it cultivates an environment where everyone is looking to everyone else to feel regenerated.

 

 

Does it take courage to express our true self?

 

 

Of course it takes courage to live an authentic life in which we are projecting our honest self, rather than hiding behind layers of veneers that we have designed to deflect the hurtful thoughts and actions of others. It is important to remember that  “courage”  (root word cuer, meaning heart) does not mean the absence of fear; indeed, we all have fears.  Having courage means that we make a conscious choice to live from the heart by choosing thoughts, words, and actions that are aligned with our spiritual values of kindness, cooperation, and respect for self and others. Interestingly, when we are being who we truly are, we are actually able to detach from needing approval from everyone else because there is an inner peace and sense of confidence that comes from living in integrity.

 

 

The only real “safety” any of us has in life is the security of being our authentic selves.  Every single one of us is amazingly special.  NO ONE ELSE CAN BE YOU!  No other human being has your particular personality, your one-of-a-kind brain, your special body, and your extraordinary soul. YOUR UNIQUENESS is a contribution to all of humanity.

 

 

When you express your TRUE SELF to the world, you are sharing the physical expression of the Love and Light of your soul. What could be more “safe?”

 

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

10 Steps for Living a Sacred Life

This is the image of the word love written three times with colorful finger-paints

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Our true life purpose is to live a sacred life by consistently expressing our spiritual values in all that we think, say, and do. 

 

 

 

10 Steps for Living a Sacred Life

 

 

1.   Honor the divinity within yourself, everyone, and everything.

 

Everyone and everything was created in divine love. Accordingly, align your thoughts, words, and deeds with kindness, respect, and cooperation.

 

 

2.   Accept people as they are without trying to change them to conform to your expectations.

 

The only way we can change others is through our own positive example.

 

 

3.   Forgive yourself and others.

 

Be compassionate toward yourself and others – It takes a great deal of courage for any one of us to be here.

 

 

4.   Recognize that we all have the same spiritual purpose – to receive and express unconditional love. 

 

You will remember this in your own unique way and in your own time. So will everyone else.

 

 

5.   Understand that it is not in your greatest good to judge or criticize anyone.

 

Whatever you criticize about someone else is an aspect, to a greater or lesser degree, that you need to heal within yourself.

 

 

6.   See life as a process of growth.

 

There are no failures. Every situation you experience and every person you meet is an opportunity for growth and greater insight to universal truth and love.

 

 

7.   Develop an attitude of gratitude.

 

Being thankful for everything and everyone is the most effective way to create peace and prosperity in your life.

 

 

8.   Remember we are all a part of the whole of existence.  

 

What affects one of us affects all of us. Take responsibility for the fact that your thoughts, words, and actions, and even your underlying motivations, are constantly impacting the entire world.

 

 

9.   Respect everything in the environment.

 

The way we take care of the earth is the way it takes care of us.

 

 

10.  Forgive yourself whenever you forget any of the above.

 

 

 

Excerpt from “The Power of Oneness, Live The Life You Choose”

The Joy of Spring – A Time For Change and New Beginnings

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Spring is a glorious time of rebirth and renewal. The fact that all of nature is always in the process of transformation is most apparent in spring.

 

Everywhere we turn we see evidence of the cycle of new beginnings. The earth thaws and becomes soft again, giving way to the emergence of new growth. The latent force within seeds awakens, allowing buds and blossoms to slowly appear and then explode into new life. The rhythm of the seasons demonstrates to us that the life force of creation is constant change and growth.

 

So it is with our own energy in spring. The seasonal surge moves into and through us, creating the impetus to make a fresh start. It is a perfect time to renew ourselves and break out of our old “earth patterns” to reach higher levels of consciousness. So how do we do this?

 

We can only change ourselves

 

First, and most importantly, we need to remember that the only person we have the power to change is ourselves. In the words of Mahatma Gandhi, “We need to BE the change we want to see.” Change is something we tend to want everyone else to do. When we avoid taking responsibility for changing ourselves, we are placing virtually everyone else in charge of our lives, which is many times the very thing we fear the most.

 

“Spring” is not just a noun – it is also a verb. 

 

Second, I encourage you to embrace the full meaning of “spring.” It is not just a noun – it is also a verb, meaning to leap forward over obstacles. So what is our greatest obstacle in moving forward? As usual, it is fear, but fear of what? Generally our greatest fear is that of the unknown. Or to put it another way, most of us are afraid of change. This is, indeed, a real “catch 22” because change and growth are qualities that are inherent to the energy of life. Change is inevitable, but how we choose to experience it is a choice! We can accept it or we can resist it.

 

Since what we resist persists, one of the most effective ways I know to open up to change is to become conscious of what we are resisting.  Once we become aware of why we are resisting change, we have the power to transcend our perceptions of fear and open our minds to the natural flow of change.

 

Following are some of the rationalizations we use to resist change:

 

We want to feel safe: We need to ask ourselves, safe from what? Are we really safe when we cling to the familiar? It is our spiritual nature to be the expression of perpetual growth and expansion. If we accept change, we can move forward in harmony with the flow of life. If we resist it, we are bound to experience tremendous difficulties. Resisting change keeps us locked into mental, emotional, and physical patterns based on the past. The safest place to be is in present time, which frees us to create healthy, new perceptions.

 

We don’t have the courage or strength: Courage (root word cuer, meaning heart) does not mean the absence of fear. Indeed, we all have fears. Having courage means we have the heart to face our fears and to make changes for the better, even when we are afraid. Does it take strength to make changes? Of course it does, but it takes a lot more of our strength to withstand the turmoil of going against the natural current of change. If we think about the times our strength has felt most depleted, has it been when we used our energy to adjust to new challenges, or when we desperately tried to stay in the same space?

 

We want to be comfortable: If we are not moving forward, we eventually become stuck in the status quo. Is it comfortable to feel stuck? Even though we may feel a little insecure about moving out of familiar spaces, it is really quite healthy to experience the discomfort that comes from growth. Discomfort is caused by bumping up against the boundaries we have outgrown, indicating that this is time for our mind’s knowledge to catch up with our soul’s wisdom. When we feel the world around us is beginning to close in, we can’t resolve the situation by making ourselves smaller; however, we can choose to create more expansive perspectives.

 

We don’t want to experience confusion: Change does cause confusion, and what a blessing it is for us! Confusion scrambles the fixated thought patterns we have locked into so that we can rearrange them into a new system of ideas. If we think about it, the most wonderful events in our lives, such as moving to a new house, receiving a promotion, getting married, or having a baby, all create a temporary state of chaos. Eventually things quiet down, but as we look around, we see that we are in an entirely new space.

 

We want to avoid pain: In our attempt to avoid the pain of change, we many times hold on to the past. Ironically, the parts of the past to which we remain most attached are the very ones that typically elicit the most painful memories. For example, the parent who abandoned us, the spouse who was unfaithful, the employer who cheated us, and the friend who betrayed us. Holding on to these types of memories frequently breeds self-defeating feelings of guilt and unworthiness that fuel the illusion that we are imprisoned in a life with no choices. Most of the pain we experience in our lives does not come from moving forward. It comes from holding ourselves back.

 

If you resonate with any of the above rationalizations to avoid change, simply forgive yourself – it is time to move on!  The good news is that when we shed the light of awareness on the illusion of these self-limiting rationalizations, we free ourselves to accept change and to make new choices.  This allows you to greet life with fluidity and to see life as a process of growth. We all have the capacity to spring into action to embrace the joy of change.  Welcome new beginnings!

 

 

 

I welcome you to share any insights or experiences you would like to offer that would encourage others to embrace their process of change.

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra