The Healing Power of Human Touch

 

This is an image of two toddlers hugging each other.

© Nina Buday/shutterstock.com

 

We live in an age where technology can connect us with almost anyone anywhere, all in a matter of seconds, through texting, email, Facebook, Twitter, and Skype. Through social media, we now have the capacity to almost instantly message out updates of our lives, pictures of family and friends, opinions about people, political viewpoints, birth notices, death notices, jokes, and even pictures of what we have had for dessert. Technically speaking, we have never been more connected. . . . . or NOT!

 

Paradoxically, in the midst of all this instantaneous communication, enormous numbers of people are feeling desperately lonely. So what is missing? Perhaps we have become so preoccupied with living in our heads, that we are becoming disconnected from our body-mind connection. Indeed, in many ways, we are becoming a human-touch-deprived society.

 

Human touch is as vital to our health and happiness as food or water. From the time we are born to the time of our death, we crave human touch. Touch is a means of communication that is so critical that research shows that infants deprived of direct human contact grow slowly and even die.

 

Even as we grow into adulthood, scientific studies have proven that touching someone in a caring nurturing way has the capacity to help the body in many ways, such as:

 

• Decrease stress and anxiety
• Strengthen your immune system
• Lower blood pressure
• Increase endorphin levels (your feel-good hormones)
• Help you to sleep better

 

Beyond the obvious positive effects on our body, human touch also creates the ability to restore our minds and bodies with our spiritual connection. When we physically touch someone in a kind, loving way we are doing something which technology cannot do – we are communicating our feelings of love and acceptance at a level that is far deeper than words. Gently rubbing someone’s back, giving a hug, holding someone’s hand, and even a pat on the back can go a long way in nourishing that person’s soul, as well as your own; for when you touch another person in a kind way, you are blessed in return. Touch transmits love, and love has the power to heal everyone and everything.

 

The next time you feel lonely or in need of physical and emotional reassurance, find a person or an animal you care about and give them a hug! The power to heal another is literally at our fingertips!

 

Love and Light

 

Sandra

 

 

Sandra Brossman is the author of The Power of Oneness, Live the Life You Choose and the featured presenter in Live the Life You Choose DVD.  To learn more about how you can align your life with spiritual truth, order the book or DVD box set at  http://www.thepowerofoneness.com/products/

 

The Power of Your Words

 

This is the image of a personified red hear with a megaphone

© Fabio Berti/shutterstock.com

 

Most of us tend to underestimate the enormous power of words. Every word we speak sends out a vibration that carries forth an intention. Our words can be healing, loving, kind, comforting, and encouraging. We can also choose words that are cruel, damaging, depressing, and discouraging.  We each have the power to choose whether we want our words to hurt or heal.

 

It is very important to understand that the way speak to others is the way we feel about ourselves.  If we are feeling insecure and vulnerable, we are likely to reactively fire off angry words in an unconscious, futile effort to defend ourselves. Ironically, the people on the receiving end of our words of fury are typically the people who are in our inner circle of family and friends because these are the people whom we feel will accept us, no matter what we are saying.  Not surprisingly, we can end up alienating the very people who are most supportive of us because it is exhausting and self-destructive to be around someone who is constantly hurling cruel words.

 

When we use our words to mindlessly vent our feelings, not only does this hurt the people on the receiving end of our words, it ultimately proves to be very hurtful to ourselves because the words we send out to others actually forms an energy field around us. This can prove to be an endless cycle of mindlessly projecting damaging words, only to discover that we are attracting the same type of responses from other people. When this happens, everyone involved is in high drama, and we are not likely to accomplish anything in our interaction.  We may have found an outlet for our feelings; however, everyone has gotten hurt in the process.

 

By now you may be asking yourself, “How do I speak kindly to others when I don’t like the person to whom I am speaking?”  Actually, communicating with others with kind intention is not dependent on how you feel about the other person. Mindfully choosing your words is a healthy habit that you develop because you respect yourself.  Creating a verbal battleground with others does not create the quality of life you want to live because you are likely to feel guilty most of the time, so what are you gaining?

 

The bottom line is that if you want to experience peace and love in your world, it is imperative that you choose words that are in harmony with these qualities.

 

You can develop the habit of consciously choosing words that are constructive for yourself and others. The following are a few points that can help you to communicate in respectful, kind ways, no matter who you are talking with and no matter what the situation:

 

Take responsibility for how you communicate – The quality of your life is a manifestation of the energy you are projecting. If you are communicating with people in a respectful way, that is the quality of life you are creating.  If you are mindlessly reacting to people and situations with anger and negative intentions, then this is also the reality you are creating. Once you take responsibility for this, you can change your reality for the better.

 

Speak kindly to yourself – Since we project to others the way we feel about ourselves, it is essential that you begin to practice talking to yourself the way you would like others to speak to you.  Our minds are like computers, recording our self-dialogue into our subconscious minds.  If you feed your mind with self-affirming, kind words about yourself, you will naturally respond to others in the same way.

 

Think before you speak – Ask yourself:  Am I talking to this person the way in which I want to be spoken?  We all have a split second, at the very least, to engage our minds before we open our mouths. Once our thoughts are spoken, it is not possible to retract the energy we have projected, so it is well worth our while to do a quick mental edit of the words we are thinking before we say them.

 

Be conscious of what you are trying to accomplish through your communications – If you are clear about what you want to create or resolve with another, you will become aware of the words you need to use to create your desired outcome. This will help you to steer clear of getting into the “negative zone” of engaging in hurtful verbal exchanges with unproductive results.

 

When you mindfully choose words that are in alignment with love, respect, and cooperation, you will discover that you are able to attract people and situations that coincide with the energy you are projecting.  From a spiritual perspective, this is the quality of life you were meant to live,  and you have the power to create it!

 

Love and Light

 

Sandra

 

A portion of this message is an excerpt from the book, The Power of Oneness, Live the Life You Choose.  To learn more about how you can align your life with spiritual truth, order the book at http://www.thepowerofoneness.com/products/ 
The e-book version, regularly priced at $9.99 is presently being offered for only $1.99.

 

How Can We Forgive People Who Have Hurt Us Deeply? PART ONE

 

This is the image of a gold and sparkle outline of a heart on a black background

© Ron Dale/shutterstock.com

 

Sometimes the words and actions of people who have hurt you may feel so vicious that the thought of forgiving them seems like an impossible human feat.  No matter how hard you try, you may feel that you cannot reconcile your feelings about them, nor understand how anyone could act in such unkind ways. It is only human to feel angered and upset when we are on the receiving end of someone’s cruel words and actions.  What is self-destructive is not that we have these feelings – it is that we hold onto them.  Most of us tend to hold the illusion that forgiveness is something that we are being asked to give to an undeserving person, so one of the best ways to prepare yourself to be a forgiving person is to see forgiveness in a more truthful light.

 

Forgiveness always begins with self.

 

 

Believe it or not, the person you most need to forgive for any situation in which you have been hurt is yourself – not because you are “wrong,” but because you have made choices which have not been aligned with your soul’s need for inner truth and self-respect. By forgiving yourself, it becomes easier to forgive others and to move out of the victimhood perception.  It’s all part of our spiritual growth.

 

 

Forgiving someone does not mean you are endorsing

anyone’s harmful behavior.

 

 

You may find it very liberating to realize that you do not need to feel warmly toward people who have hurt you, nor do you need to understand their actions, in order to forgive. You may even make a healthy decision that it is not in your best interest to be in the physical presence of people who have hurt you deeply.

 

The way people act is a reflection of how they feel about themselves,

NOT YOU!

 

When someone behaves in a harmful, manipulative way, it is very important to understand that they are projecting from THEIR reservoir of fears.  The way they are treating you is exactly the way they feel about themselves.  This is why self-love is so essential in that it forms the foundation for how we treat everyone around us.  When we focus on someone else’s negative behavior by responding the same way, we compound the problem by reinforcing their fears and our own.  We then step into the darkness of the other person’s world of fear, rather than bringing illumination to the situation.  Instead of inviting the other person to our space of peace, we hurt ourselves by stepping into their chaos.

 

 

We learn and grow from our relationships.

 

No matter how angry we may feel toward someone, there are no accidents; there is a reason for every single interaction we have with anyone, whether pleasant or not.  They are teaching us, and we are teaching them.  We can perceive even our most painful experiences as growth opportunities by asking ourselves, “What am I experiencing through this person that I need to learn?”  The things that irritate us about someone else are a reflection of something we need to see within ourselves in order to mature in our spirituality.  We may realize that this person is reminding us our need to develop more self-esteem or exposing our own need to be more patient and forgiving. It could also be that we recognize that what this person is doing that is causing us pain is the same thing we have to someone else in the past.  The important thing is that when we view our relationship issues in this way, we are learning from, rather than judging the other person.

 

 

When you withhold forgiveness, you are likely to repeat

negative relationship patterns.

 

 

When you withhold forgiveness and choose to ignore the messages that are coming to you in the form of relationships, the universe will continue to present you with people and circumstances based on the same theme until you become aware of what you need to know.  It is as though you are in a play and the same actor exits and comes back on stage again wearing a new outfit.  Once you accept the lessons you are learning through your relationships, you are likely to free yourself from living through the same painful emotional patterns over and over again.

 

When you forgive someone,
you no longer allow them to control your life.

 

If you are holding back on forgiving someone, chances are you are making them the center of your attention.  This means that you continue to re-experience the self-damaging emotions of pain, anger, and resentment every time you think of that person, which is probably most of the time.  Why give anyone that kind of power over your life?  Take back your power to live your life with all the potential that exists in present time.

 

Forgiveness is a form of neutral, unconditional love.

 

Forgiveness is not a warm, fuzzy emotion.  It is a neutral, compassionate emotion that acknowledges that we are all connected as one human family.  When you choose to forgive someone, you are acknowledging that every single person on earth, no matter who they are or how they conduct themselves, is part of humanity and, therefore, a part of who you are.  In other words, you stop focusing on the objectionable physical actions of others by looking at a soul level, beneath their negative behavior.

 

The bottom line is that forgiveness is something we do for OURSELVES!  It is the most effective way we can free ourselves from self-defeating old patterns from the past and step into the infinite potential that we can only discover in present time.  When we do this, we are blessing ourselves and everyone in our lives by placing a greater priority on love and inner peace than on revenge and self-righteousness.

 

In next week’s blog, Part 2, we will discuss a simple exercise that will empower you to make forgiveness a part of your daily life.

 

Love and Light

 

Sandra

 

 

Click this link to order the downloadable audio meditation, “Free Yourself Through Forgiveness,” narrated by Sandra Brossman.

 

 

How Do We Let Go of the Past?

This is an image of the past, the future, and a person in front of the word NOW.

© Anson0618/shutterstock

 

 

In order to heal our lives and move forward, we need to let go of the past.  How many times have we heard this statement?  Yet, most of us feel at least a little resistance at the thought of letting go of the past.  In truth, most people feel a great deal of reluctance to “let go of the past.”  

 

 

 

Why do we resist?

 

 

 

Many times we hold on to the past simply because we are afraid of change. We have an amazing propensity to hold onto the familiar–even if it is causing us harm.  How often have we clung to a destructive relationship, a job we have long outgrown, or even a consistently poor performing financial investment just because we are afraid of change?  Generally speaking our greatest fear is of the unknown.  Since the very nature of life is change, we are powerless to remain in the status quo.  Our choice is to be victimized by the changes that are naturally evolving all around us or to make conscious choices that coincide with the quality of life we want to be living in present time.

 

 

 

Isn’t it important to remember the past?

 

 

 

Of course it is.  Healing our lives does not require that we forget the past. But remembering is not the same thing as becoming entrapped in old patterns of behavior simply because we are afraid to make changes. Past experiences, both positive and negative, serve us well when we learn from them and use these lessons as a springboard from which to launch new thought patterns that promote our health and growth. 

 

 

 

What we need to let go of is our tendency to continue to focus on the painful memories of the past.  Since whatever we focus on is what we create, every time we give our attention to a painful situation from the past, we give our energy to repeating the same patterns of behavior.  For example, if you habitually focus on childhood abandonment, you are likely to find yourself in many relationships where you are abandoned.  Just as importantly, it is essential to realize that every time you focus your attention on painful memories of the past, you re-create the stressful mind and body responses that you associate with that memory, such as grief, depression, and heartache.  
 
 

How Do We Let Go of the Past?

 

 

 

Forgive Yourself – Free yourself from your bondage to the past by forgiving yourself for the many choices you made that you now perceive as “mistakes.”  Sure, in retrospect, you might have done things differently.  Remember, you have gotten wiser with every experience you have had, so back then you didn’t have the same basis of knowledge that you now have.  

 

 

Forgive The People Who Have Hurt You – Take back your power!  Every time you blame someone for painful experiences in the past you are allowing them to rule your thoughts!

 

(You may find the blog on “Forgiveness, The Greatest Gift We Give Ourselves,” April 23, 2013, to be very helpful.)

 

 

Be Conscious of Your Thinking – Become aware of when your thoughts are focused on negative past events and situations.  Simply acknowledging where you are giving your attention empowers you to return your thoughts to present time.

 

 

Express gratitude for the lessons learned – Focus on how you have learned and grown with every experience you have had.

 

 

Choose to be in present time – Savor every moment of your life journey.  Since the past is over and the future is not yet here, the only time that is “real” is NOW.   

 

 

 

Where you are in life right now is the result of your thoughts from the past.  Being fully present empowers you to make new choices that can change your reality.  In fact, whatever you are thinking in this moment is creating your future!

 

 

 

Love and Light,

 

 

 

Sandra

 

 

 

You can access more insights to letting go of the past by ordering the book, The Power of Oneness, Live The Life You Choose™.

 

 

 

Do you have any experiences you would like to share that have prepared you to live in present time?  As always, I welcome your thoughts.

 

 

Letting Go of Our Judgment of Others

This is a vintage image of a glamorous women being judged

© Everett Collection/shutterstock

   

 

Nothing creates separation and discord among human beings more than when we judge each other.  While this is true, judge is a word that causes confusion for many of us.

 

 

On one hand, for centuries humanity has received countless messages through spiritual masters from all walks of life instructing us not to judge. Two of the most well-known are the biblical verses citing Jesus as saying,

 

 

Judge not, lest ye be judged,” and, 

Let he who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone.” 

 

 

On the other hand, most of us would agree that we certainly need to use our judgment skills to navigate through this very complicated, polarized physical world of experience.

 

 

No wonder we are confused!  In the strictly literal sense, some of the definitions of judge are:

 

  • a person qualified to decide on the relative worth of anything
  • to criticize or censure
  • a person designated to determine the winner

 

Wow!  When we apply these definitions to how we engage with other people, it brings up a lot of questions.  For example, who among us is the one person who is supremely qualified to decide on the worth of anything?  Who among us appreciates being criticized or censured? And, how about, who among us is the ultimate judge of who is a winner?

 

 

In order to understand what is meant by letting go of judgment of others, we need to adopt a more neutral interpretation of the word judge. Rather than construing the word judge in a polarized way that involves attacking or assessing the value of another person, we can rise to a higher perspective by perceiving judgment as an act of discernment. We need to use our skills of judgment to discern situations, opportunities, agreements, and decisions to determine what is in our greatest good.

 

 

How do we differentiate between the polarized perception of judge versus the more enlightened, neutral interpretation?  

 

 

A good point of reference to determine this is to ask ourselves, “What is the source of my judgment?”  If it is coming from an intuitive space guiding us to make choices that are in our greatest good, we are most likely coming from a space of spiritual integrity.  When we judge from this neutral perspective, we are assessing and evaluating objective things, such as a baseball game, a career opportunity, deciding on a financial investment, or choosing which college to attend.  If we find ourselves subjectively judging another person, then the source of our judgment is coming from ego in that we have determined our superiority over some else.  When we do this, we are, in essence, proclaiming ourselves to be the expert in someone else’s life. The ego perspective implies that we think we have the answers to someone else’s problems.  Judging others is usually a sign that we have decided someone else needs to act the way we want them to.  We are saying we are right, and someone else is wrong, which almost always creates conflict.

 

 

How can we let go of judging others? 

 

 

We begin by reaching into our hearts (not our heads) to remember compassion. Compassion is a deep level of kindness in which we are open to trying to understand where other people are coming from by putting ourselves in their shoes.   We acknowledge that we have not experienced their victories, their losses, their relationships, and their pain.  We draw on our own experiences to understand other people more than we seek for others to understand us.  We practice treating other people the way we want to be treated. We also take responsibility for the fact that when we judge another, we are also judging ourselves. Whatever we find annoying in another person is an aspect that, to a greater or lesser degree, we need to heal within ourselves.

 

 

Being non-judgmental requires that we choose to look beneath the behaviors we are witnessing and focus on the soul level of our fellow humans. There is a principle called the “Pygmalion Effect” (from the popular book of the same name or the movie, “My Fair Lady”) that exemplifies this state of grace.  This principle states that if we expect the best from another and communicate such to them, they will respond by adjusting their behavior to match. The main idea concerning The “Pygmalion Effect” is that if you believe that someone is capable of achieving greatness, then you have created a space of potential for that person to achieve greatness. Stated simply, when we let go of judging others, we focus on the goodness (Godness) within everyone, rather than what is wrong with them.  When we practice being non-judgmental, we offer others the opportunity to find themselves and to meet us partway.

 

 

The famous Sufi poet, Rumi, expressed this truth so eloquently when he said:

 

 

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field.  I’ll meet you there.”

 

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

 

I welcome your comments, insights, and experiences on how we can let go of judgment of others.

How To Remain Balanced While Helping Others

Image of two men on a mountain - one trying to pull the other one to the top.

© ollyy/shutterstock

 

 

One of the most sensitive balancing acts we experience in our spiritual growth process is that of helping others in a way that supports them without decreasing our own energy.  There is so much suffering in the world, and most of us truly want to reach out and alleviate some of the pain–especially when we see it within our family members and friends.  However, unless we help others in a mindful way, we are likely to deplete ourselves by draining our own personal energy, rather than being a conduit for channeling the limitless energy of spirit through us and to those whom we are helping.

 

 

Odd as it may seem, we can best help others by first helping ourselves.  We do this by honoring our own needs for spiritual nourishment.  If we try to help someone without being in a position of emotional strength ourselves, we can quickly become drawn into someone else’s drama.  When this happens, not only can we not help anyone, we are actually adding to the collective pain of the world by taking on the negative issues of others.

 

 

When people share with me their pain and aggravation over complicated emotional issues in their lives, I frequently ask them, “What part of this belongs to you?”  While this may seem like a surprising question, it is astonishing how often we waste our energy by getting emotionally entangled in other people’s emotional dramas, rather than being a support system.  Of course, we are greatly impacted by the pain of people whom we care about, and we always have our own lessons to learn or we wouldn’t be involved at all.  But we need to remember that we support others by reinforcing them with our strength–not by imposing our judgment on them or participating in their anger and pain.

 

 

Trying to save someone by getting involved in their emotional issues is like trying to rescue a friend who has slipped onto the edge of a cliff by going out onto the edge with them.  When we do this, not only have we not helped our friend, we have actually added to the problem in that both of us are now in a precarious space and in need of assistance.  Of course, we want to help others, but helping others does not mean self-sacrifice.  There are other, much more effective ways by which you can support others without draining your own energy.

 

 

The following are some guidelines for remaining balanced while helping others:

 

 

1.  Regenerate Yourself – It is crucial that you remain balanced and centered by accessing the flow of spiritual energy that is always available to you at all times.  You can do this by consistently engaging in any practices that you find to be regenerating, such as:  prayer, meditation, yoga, walking in nature, spending time with positive people, playing with children and your animal friends.

 

 

2.  Ask Your Friend/Family Member If They Want Your Help – So many times we waste our time and energy trying to change someone’s situation because it is something WE want for them, not something they want for themselves.  It is pretty tough to assist someone’s recovery if they are resisting us while we are doing it.  You may find that the person to whom you are offering assistance is not ready to receive your help.  The time may not be correct or perhaps the person is simply not willing to embrace the lesson(s) at hand.  How and when we each learn our life lessons is a personal choice.

 

 

3.  Honor The Lessons of Others –  We each create our own reality.  It is important to remember that, at some level, our friend/family member created the situation with which they are struggling and that they need to learn from the painful issues they are experiencing.  We each have to discover our own personal lessons that come through in the form of life’s challenges.  When we try to short-circuit this process for someone else, we are robbing them of an opportunity to learn something they need to know for their own spiritual growth.

 

 

4.  Stay Out of the Drama –  Learn to be an unconditional observer of someone else’s drama, rather than getting emotionally trapped by your own fears.  Staying neutral and non-judgmental allows you to see the situation from a much higher perspective, which places you in a position of strength to offer guidance, compassion, and clear insights, and constructive choices.

 

 

5.  Offer Tools That Empower Others – The most constructive way to help someone else is not to do for them, but to empower them to do for themselves.  You can offer choices that will inspire your friend to help themselves, such as:  doing research on doctors or healers who could be of support, suggesting specific books, being a non-judgmental listener (you don’t have to provide the answers), providing ongoing encouragement of their healing.

 

 

Most importantly, we need to remember that the most powerful support we can give to anyone is by the way we model our own choices and behaviors.  The healing of others is not done by us but through us.  When we tap into our universal spiritual source, we receive all the energy, love, guidance, and strength we need to help others.  In fact, helping people in this way is actually energizing–not just for them, but for ourselves as well.

 

 

Do you have any suggestions or questions regarding how you have coped with helping others?

 

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

10 Steps for Living a Sacred Life

This is the image of the word love written three times with colorful finger-paints

©Yanush/shutterstock

 

 

Our true life purpose is to live a sacred life by consistently expressing our spiritual values in all that we think, say, and do. 

 

 

 

10 Steps for Living a Sacred Life

 

 

1.   Honor the divinity within yourself, everyone, and everything.

 

Everyone and everything was created in divine love. Accordingly, align your thoughts, words, and deeds with kindness, respect, and cooperation.

 

 

2.   Accept people as they are without trying to change them to conform to your expectations.

 

The only way we can change others is through our own positive example.

 

 

3.   Forgive yourself and others.

 

Be compassionate toward yourself and others – It takes a great deal of courage for any one of us to be here.

 

 

4.   Recognize that we all have the same spiritual purpose – to receive and express unconditional love. 

 

You will remember this in your own unique way and in your own time. So will everyone else.

 

 

5.   Understand that it is not in your greatest good to judge or criticize anyone.

 

Whatever you criticize about someone else is an aspect, to a greater or lesser degree, that you need to heal within yourself.

 

 

6.   See life as a process of growth.

 

There are no failures. Every situation you experience and every person you meet is an opportunity for growth and greater insight to universal truth and love.

 

 

7.   Develop an attitude of gratitude.

 

Being thankful for everything and everyone is the most effective way to create peace and prosperity in your life.

 

 

8.   Remember we are all a part of the whole of existence.  

 

What affects one of us affects all of us. Take responsibility for the fact that your thoughts, words, and actions, and even your underlying motivations, are constantly impacting the entire world.

 

 

9.   Respect everything in the environment.

 

The way we take care of the earth is the way it takes care of us.

 

 

10.  Forgive yourself whenever you forget any of the above.

 

 

 

Excerpt from “The Power of Oneness, Live The Life You Choose”

Cultivating an Attitude of Gratitude

This is an image of a woman opening her arms to the horizon along the oceanfront

© Dudarev Mikhail/shutterstock

 

 

One of the most wonderful ways we can create peace and abundance in our lives is to focus our attention on gratitude.  Gratitude is a word that we most typically associate with thankfulness.  When we think of thankfulness, many of us focus on the relationships, conditions, and things in our life that we like and enjoy.  Being thankful is a very healthy emotion that helps us to reinforce a positive attitude and maintain balance in life.

 

 

But what about all of the things that go on in our lives that we do not enjoy, like: getting sick, losing our jobs, the death of a loved one, the break-up of a close relationship, being injured in a car accident, making a bad investment, or experiencing violence?  Are we supposed to be thankful for all of these experiences too, or just the “good stuff?”

 

 

This is where the infinitely greater meaning of gratitude comes in.  When we are only thankful for things we like, gratitude is an emotion that is contingent on our situation, therefore it is a conditional emotion.  When things are going well, we are thankful; when life gets tough, we wait until a time when things feel more optimistic before we express thanks again.  The problem with this is that no human being is going to spend life here on earth with only positive experiences. So, if we perceive gratitude in a conditional way, we are quite likely going to have long and frequent periods of time during which we do not feel thankful.

 

 

In the spiritual sense, gratitude is an ongoing attitude in which we choose to be unconditionally appreciative for all that is.  When we think about this, we realize this is a huge concept.  This would mean that we choose to see the blessings in every experience we have, every moment of every day. There is so much pain and suffering in our third dimensional world, as well as a plethora of amazingly challenging, downright unpleasant experiences, so how is it humanly possible to maintain an “attitude of gratitude?”

 

 

Developing an attitude of gratitude begins by choosing to remember that absolutely everything we experience and everyone whom we meet is happening for a reason. Even though many times we do not understand things that occur in our lives, every experience we have is offering us the opportunity to become more whole.  No matter what is going on, we focus on the perfection within what appears to be a lot of imperfection.  Through our thoughts, we call into our life the people and situations that teach us what we most need to know when we most need to learn it. This occurs in both positive and negative ways, depending on how we learn best. For example, if one of our large life lessons is that need to stop giving our power away to others, we will most likely attract controlling personalities into our reality until we figure out how to love ourselves enough to take control of our own life.

 

 

When we function in a state of gratitude, we begin to appreciate everything.  We are not born feeling grateful – it is a frame of mind that needs to be cultivated through practice. We become thankful for the penny we just found on the sidewalk, the parking spot that just opened up at the perfect moment, the smile of a passing stranger, the roof over our heads, and the food we eat.  We begin to see the magnificent wonder of life within everyone and everything.  We are thankful for something as seemingly small as the petal on a flower to the magnitude of the miracle of witnessing a child being born.  We are thankful for a sunny day and equally appreciative for a rainy day.  We express thanks for the unhappy experiences from which we grow, just as much as the happy ones.

 

 

When we practice being thankful for all things great and small, we are aligning our thoughts with the frequency of unconditional love; thus, we open ourselves to welcoming abundance at every level – mentally, emotionally, and physically.  While some days may be a lot more enjoyable than others, practicing an attitude of gratitude is a perfect way to savor every moment of life.

 

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

 

Sandra Brossman is the author of The Power of Oneness, Live the Life You Choose.  To learn more about how you can align your life with spiritual truth, order the book at http://www.thepowerofoneness.com/products/

 

What is the Difference Between Conditional Love and Unconditional Love?

This is an image of a heart shaped cloud in the sky

© LilKar/shutterstock

 

 

Love – This is a word that is very frequently used in every language to describe our emotions ranging from something as relatively trite, such as, “I love your shoes,” to something as deeply significant as a mother saying, “I love you” to a child in the most vulnerable moment.

 

 

Is there really a difference between conditional love and unconditional love? 

 

 

The answer is, yes.

 

 

What is conditional love?

 

 

Conditional love is a polarized emotion, meaning that it has an opposite emotion.  The opposite extreme of love is hatred.  Conditional love comes from ego and  generally focuses on someone (like a romantic partner, child, parent, friend)  or some thing (like a house, a car, or a job).  When we love someone conditionally, we tend to want them to look, act, and think in ways that fit our own paradigms and expectations.  We hold others accountable to our expectations in order to qualify for our affection.  If they act the way we want them to, we express our approval; if they act contrary to our wishes, we withhold our expression of acceptance of them, usually in some form of anger.  Conditional love polarizes our internal thought process to believe, “I am right, and you are wrong, so I think you should see things my way.”  As soon as begin to judge someone as being right or wrong, it is our cue that we are not in a space of unconditional love because we are perceiving that we are the authority for someone else’s life.  This ultimately results in a power play for everyone involved because it focuses on control, which typically elicits a defensive reaction from the people whom we are trying to change.

 

 

Another version of conditional love is passion, a term we use for the sexual feelings we have when we meet someone with whom we have “chemistry.”  The term “falling in love” is a revealing expression indicating that we sometimes lose ourselves when we are involved in a passionate romantic relationship based on conditional love. Possibly, this is because we are looking for another person to complete us rather than looking to share our whole self with another. “Looking for our other half” is a statement that strongly indicates we are seeking to make ourselves whole through someone else, rather than working on ourselves to become more of who we truly are.

 

 

When someone acts in a way that vastly deviates from our expectations or does something to hurt us or someone we care about, we can transform the emotion of conditional love to the complete opposite end of the spectrum – hatred.  Hatred is a very strong emotion that is rooted in fear.  Hatred is extremely destructive and wreaks havoc on our mental, emotional, and physical well being.

 

 

What is Unconditional Love?

 

 

Unconditional love is neutral and has no opposite polarity.  The source of unconditional love is Spirit; therefore it is available to everyone without discernment, and there is absolutely nothing we need to do to qualify for it.  Unconditional love comes through to us at a soul level, beginning at the level of self-acceptance and self-forgiveness, and radiates divine light to everyone and everything.  When we make a conscious decision to choose thoughts based on unconditional love, it does not mean that we agree with everyone and everything.  It means that we consciously commit ourselves to expressing respect, kindness, and cooperation to everyone and everything in our environment.

 

 

Unconditional love is not something that happens to us or outside of us.  It is the life force of energy within our very being and is ingrained in every cell of our bodies.  We don’t have to search for love–we ARE, each one of us, the physical embodiment of unconditional love.  Because unconditional love is life energy, it is formless, infinite, constantly in motion, and unconditionally available to us 24/7!

 

 

Unconditional love has a positive effect on our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual state of being, creating truth, joy, beauty, health, harmony, and everything in the world that is in our greatest good.  The benevolent, compassionate nature of universal love flows through us and blesses everyone and everything it touches.

 

 

When we open our hearts to receiving and expressing the love of the universe, we feel expansive and radiant.  We automatically rise above the limitations of fear because unconditional love is infinitely more powerful than fear; in fact, unconditional love is the most powerful force in existence.  There is no amount of darkness that can blot out light; yet the tiniest amount of light can overcome darkness. This means that no matter how dark and chaotic our lives may seem at times, we can find comfort in knowing that our earthly world is always held within an infinitely larger context of universal love and light.

 

 

Remembering that we are each created in the energy of divine love gives us great inspiration and renewed hope that we each have the power to bring our own unique expression of unconditional love to the world, which brings healing to everyone and everything we touch.

 

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

 

What We See in Others is a Reflection of Ourselves

Cute image of an orange tabby kitten with a reflection of him in water

© Vaclav Volrab/shutterstock

 

You may have heard it before, but it is such a strong statement:  “We can only see things within others that we see within ourselves.”  I think this is one of the most challenging spiritual lessons we are here to learn.  When I first read this statement in a spiritual book many years ago, it seemed very odd to me.  Like most people, my first response was, “Surely, I do not act like a lot of people who annoy me and push my buttons.”   Interestingly, I find that when I facilitate spiritual classes, this statement typically elicits the same response from most others.

 

 

Everyone you meet is your mirror.  Why is that?

 

 

We come to understand ourselves best through our relationships with other people. We can only be triggered by something we have experienced ourselves. The traits we tend to dislike in others are usually the traits we do not like about ourselves.  We then tend to judge and criticize these characteristics.  This calls to mind the analogy of pointing a blaming finger at someone.  One finger is pointing at another person, and three are pointing back to ourselves.

 

 

When certain characteristics in someone’s personality trigger a negative reaction from you, there is something within you that is coming up because it is ready to be healed.  Usually, it represents issues from your past that have gone unresolved. An example of this would be constantly attracting people who betray you in close relationships because you have not dealt with a parental abandonment issue from your past. What you are seeing is a manifestation of your belief that you cannot trust anyone with your feelings. Here is another example:  You are someone who has a constant need to prove to others that you are “right.”  Chances are you will attract people who strongly disagree with you because they also have the need to convince others to see life from their perspective.  Also, if you dislike controlling people, most likely you dislike some bossy tendencies within yourself.

 

 

Every person we meet in life is showing up at the perfect time in our lives to reflect something we need to heal within ourselves. The people with whom you interact are showing you who you are and ultimately providing you with an opportunity to love yourself. Since our mission is to discover what we don’t love and learn to love it, the people who get on our nerves the most are among our greatest teachers.

 

 

When you find yourself triggered by a person or situation, ask yourself the following questions: 

 

 

 

    •    “What is this person teaching me that I need to learn to become more whole?” 

 

    •    “Do I behave like this now?”

 

    •    “Did I behave like this in the past?”

 

 

Believe it or not, forgiving YOURSELF is the most effective way to disengage from negative interactions with people.  We can only love and accept others to the degree that we love and accept ourselves.  When you make it a habit to learn from your relationships, eventually you will discover that you can observe negative traits within others without judgment and without getting hooked into someone else’s drama.  If you discover that you are in a relationship with someone who habitually abuses you in some way, it is sometimes healthy to limit your exposure to that person or to avoid their company completely.  This serves you well only after you have embraced the lessons that you have seen reflected to you through the relationship, followed by choosing to forgive yourself and the other person.

 

 

The good news is that the desirable behaviors we see in others is also a reflection of ourselves.  When we predominantly choose thoughts of love, we live in a reality of love.  In other words, as we focus on our light within, we bring out the light within others.

 

 

We came to this earth to return to the remembrance that we are ONE. Everyone we meet has come into our path to help us to remember this.

 

 

Do you find it challenging to believe that what you see in others is a reflection of you?  I welcome your thoughts.

 

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra