When is the Last Time You Said, “I Love Myself?”

This is the image of a green chalkboard with writing that says, "I love myself"

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This question may sound silly – but think about it.  These are the words we most long to hear from others, and yet we rarely say them to ourselves. If we don’t feel comfortable saying this to ourselves, how can we expect to be comfortable in accepting this message from others?  What is even more interesting is that the majority of us have actually never said, “I love myself.”

 

I recently led a spiritual workshop where the topic was about our creative infinite potential as human beings.  Through my extensive journey of personal healing, as well as many years of facilitating energy healing sessions and spiritual workshops, I have come to understand that the only way we can even begin to comprehend the vastness of our infinite potential is to start with the fundamental principle of self-love.  For this reason, I suggested an exercise which involved pairing up. One person would say, “I love myself,” while the other one listened with complete attention, and then they reversed the roles of speaker and listener. Not only did I request that they repeat this mantra aloud to each other, I also suggested they affirm this statement about 25 times. At first, it was apparent that the suggestion to participate in this exercise seemed a little awkward for everyone.  Because of our social conditioning, their initial feeling was that it would be much more easy to say “I love you” to someone else than it was to say “I love myself.”

 

Nevertheless, this open-minded, spiritually attuned group was willing to give it a try. It began as a cumbersome exercise of people dutifully reciting “I love myself” to each other.  Because the words aligned with the truth of spirit, we could each feel that what began as a mind exercise quickly deepened into expressions of the heart as we continued to repeat this affirmation to each other. Within minutes, the room began to swell with echoes of “I love myself” coming from everywhere. What a beautiful sound! It became quite obvious to all of us that what had begun as an uncomfortable exercise had transformed into an experience of inspiration and truth.

 

 

Why does it feel so uncomfortable to affirm “I love myself?”

 

 

Most of us are taught from early on in our childhood years by parents, caregivers, teachers, culture, traditions, and religious teachings that it is selfish to love ourselves.  We carry these childhood beliefs into adulthood without even realizing it. In order to spiritually evolve, it is essential to understand that “self-love” is not the same as “selfish.”

 

 

What is the difference between “self-love” and “selfish?”

 

 

Each one of us has been created by the energy of unconditional love.  As we remember this truth, we come to recognize that our natural state of being is LOVE.  When we choose to be loving and respectful of ourselves, our energy resonates with Universal Love and opens our hearts to a connection with our Higher Self.  This empowers us to access limitless energy for inspiration and regeneration from the Universe.  As a result, we have plenty of energy to express our love to others, resulting in generosity – not selfishness.

 

“Selfish,” on the other hand, is an emotion that centers predominantly on the needs and desires of self without consideration of others. Because it is self-centered, it focuses on ego and disconnects us from Creative Source.  Selfish behavior blocks universal love from flowing to and through us.  This results in looking to everyone else outside of ourselves to fulfill our needs and desires. Being around people who are acting selfish is typically a very draining experience.

 

 

Can simply affirming “I love myself”

really change how I feel about myself?

 

 

The simple answer is yes. Our feelings are the emotional barometer indicating whether our thoughts are aligned with our spiritual truth.  When we think kind and loving thoughts about ourselves, we are aligned with the spiritual truth of oneness and love, and we feel inspired and uplifted.  When we think unkind and judgmental thoughts about ourselves, we feel separated from our Creative Source and are bound to be living in fear.  It takes practice to change old habits. Practice this affirmation with a supportive friend or relative.  Another very effective way to affirm this new thought form is to stand before a mirror, look deeply into your own eyes, and say, “I love you.”  Louise Hay, famed spiritual coach and author, suggests you do this until you are moved to the point of tears.  It is then that you will know that you have embraced what you are saying to yourself with your heart.

 

 

Can I come to truly believe what I am saying?

 

 

Every belief we have is rooted in a repetitious thought pattern.  Because we have the power to choose our thoughts, we can consciously transform our outgrown beliefs of separation by changing our self-talk and the messages we convey to ourselves at any time in our lives. Our thoughts create the beliefs that form the foundation for how we live our lives. Our beliefs determine the words we speak, our words result in our actions, and our actions manifest our physical reality.

 

While it may seem very strange to you at first, persevere with affirming that you love and accept yourself.  To see yourself in the light of love is to embrace the truth of your True Self.  Since what we project is what we attract, you will also attract other people who love you for who you are.

 

Be kind to yourself!

 

Love and Light

 

Sandra

 

Living From the Inside Out

This is an image of words written in the form of clouds that say CORE VALUES

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We live in a physical world where there is a great emphasis on defining ourselves by title, power, money, and material possessions. This model of life is based on living from the outside in and centers around ego gratification, trying to control other people and outer circumstances, and material accumulation. If we are living from the outside in, we are likely to feel that we never have enough of anything and that no matter how successful we are, there is a sense of emptiness within our souls. It is not surprising that many of us have adopted this perception of life because it is based on the competitive, survival-oriented way of living which is the predominant model that has been demonstrated and taught to us by our parents, caregivers, and teachers.

 

 

As we expand in our spiritual evolution, most of us are seeking to realize a deeper purpose for our lives and are longing for a sense of inner peace. This requires that we reverse the center of our lives from the ego-based desires for outer approval and material gratification to centering our lives around our inner core values. In others words, we need to shift from living from the outside in to living from the inside out.

 

 

What Does Living From the Inside Out Mean?

 

 

Living from the inside out is a model of life which evolves from viewing the world from the Perspective of Oneness and is based on spiritual values and cooperating for the good of the whole. When you see the world from this vantage point, you remember that you are connected to the Source of Divine Love, as well as to everyone and everything. When you live from the inside-out, you are living in integrity, which is to say that you are integrating every aspect of your being – Soul, Mind, and Body – with the values of spiritual love.

 

 

Soul – Your soul is your connection to Spirit and becomes the center of your existence and the highest authority for how you choose to live your life. You access your spiritual wisdom by listening to your intuition and honoring your “gut level” feelings. Your self-worth is determined by your connection with Universal Love, not by how others perceive you.

 

Mind – You choose perceptions that are based on the qualities of Spirit: unconditional love, respect, cooperation; and you use your energy to create the quality of life you choose, rather than to fearfully react to others and your outer world of experience.

 

Body – Your body and material world align with your spiritual values and you create a physical reality that is in harmony with the values of your soul. Because you are reflecting your true self, you attract people and situations that resonate with your True Self.

 

 

Living in integrity from your spiritual core center incites motivation, passion, and inspiration because you are honoring your commitment to bring the gift of your Essential Self to the world. When you live from the inside out, you are living in harmony with the Oneness of Spirit, creating unity and harmony within your inner personal life, as well as the world all around you.

 

 

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs

 

 

Do you have any insights that you would like to share with us regarding how you have learned to live from the inside out?

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

 

For more information on Living From the Inside Out, order the book, “The Power of Oneness, Live The Life You Choose.”

 

 

The Person You Most Want To Be Is Who You Already Are

Text of the word Beautiful with YOU highlighted

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Do you ever find yourself using other people as a point of reference for establishing your identity?  For assessing your value as a person?  For measuring your level of accomplishments? 

 

 

 
Most of us do this at one time or another, and perhaps even most of the time.  Looking around and comparing yourself to others ultimately results in a game of self-judgment. You may decide that someone else is more beautiful, thinner, more important, healthier, more successful, wealthier, happier, and more powerful than you are. Of course, this may be true; but it is completely futile and irrelevant because the person you most want to be is who you already are!  We all have special gifts, and the whole point to your life is to explore the many facets of yourself.

 

 

 
This essential point became very apparent to me when I was recently attending a numerology course.  I use the example of numerology because numbers are objective.  Also, it is a widely accepted scientific and metaphysical premise that everything and everyone is a vibration of energy, and vibrations are numbers.  What is so beautiful about perceiving people through the lens of numerology is that it made me realize that everyone, in all the world, is special. We each have a particular name and a specific time that we are born to this world. 

 

 

 
These very personal factors have an enormous impact on your soul’s mission, how you think, your personality, and your life lessons. This is so amazing!  There is no “right” or “wrong” way to be who you are!  In fact, YOU are the ONLY person who can be the expression of your soul.  We were all born in the energy of unconditional love, and you are here to be the exquisitely unique expression of the energy you were destined to bring to this lifetime.  Your life purpose, the color of your eyes and hair, the shape of your body, your brain, your emotions, your talents, the people whom you attract into your world of experience, as well as how you experience life, are all expressions of the very special version of who you were born to be. Even your challenges in life have been designed by the Universe to keep you on track with becoming more Whole.  For example, if your soul’s mission in this lifetime is to become more open to change, you may find that you are presented with many situations that require you to be very flexible and willing to grow.  

 

 

 
Who you are is not determined by how you compare to other people.  Your True Self is the remembrance that you originated from the energy of Universal Love.  Because love is creative, it is expressed in many ways.  Each one of us has an innate talent and predominant gift to offer, whether it is in “loud” or “quiet” ways.  Your mission could be to be a peacemaker, to be of service to humanity, to create the foundation from which to build new ideas and forms, to be musical and artistic, to be a pillar of love for family and humanity, to be adventuresome, to bring revolutionary ideas into being, to be a messenger who brings the light of spiritual truth to the world, or all of these and even more!

 

 

One of the most effective ways you can live in your truth is to consciously align the decisions of your mind with the spiritual values of your heart. Follow your intuition and accept how the gift of your presence naturally unfolds every moment of every day by having the courage to be yourself. You are not here to win a popularity vote! Contrary to our inclination to think that we are “not enough,” there is nothing you need to add to make yourself more of your True Self. Spiritual healing is simply a matter of shedding the many layers of fear that you have used to cover up the perfection of your core being.

 

 

 
It reminds me of what Michelangelo said when he was asked to explain how he was guided to sculpt
the “Pieta”:

 

 

 

“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.”

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

 

Free Yourself From the Worry Habit

This is an image of a person stretching their arms welcoming the day as the sun rises

© katja kodba/shutterstock

 

 

It seems everywhere we turn, people are worrying. Worrying is part of our human emotional makeup, and there are some conditions and situations where it can serve as a constructive emotion. Such as, motivating you to honor a commitment, meet a deadline, or avoid a dangerous situation.

 

 

Worry becomes extremely stressful and destructive when it gets to be a habit.  You can recognize that worrying is becoming a habit when you find yourself approaching most of the situations in your life from a fearful perspective. Chronic worrying can drain your energy, cause constant anxiety, paralyze your ability to make decisions, keep you up late at night, and can even make you sick.

 

 

Why do we worry? 

 

 

We worry because we are afraid, but afraid of what? Generally speaking our greatest fear is of the unknown. Usually, it isn’t the actual situations we experience that cause us to feel frightened nearly so much as our fearful anticipation of worse-case scenarios.

 

 

Interestingly, if you have adopted worrying as your usual approach to life, not only will you fearfully anticipate negative outcomes – you will also stress about potential positive outcomes. The things we worry about are only limited by our imagination: Fear of the lack of money, and fear of the responsibility that comes with financial success; fear of not being loved, and fear of the vulnerability of loving another; fear of losing a job and fear of staying stuck in a job, and the list goes on and on. You may even convince yourself that worrying is a good thing and that it helps you to solve problems and to prepare for the worst.  The problem with this theory is that whatever we focus on creates our reality; thus the saying, Worrying is praying for what you don’t want.  Recognizing this helps you to be aware that worrying is the problem, not the solution.

 

 

Worrying is a habit that can be healed. 

 

 

You can train your brain to manage stress in a more healthy way.  The following are some questions to ask yourself when you find your energy sinking into dreadful anticipation:

 

What am I thinking right now?  Awareness is the beginning of all healing. You are likely to be surprised at how many times you catch yourself focusing on negative outcomes.

 

What words am I using to communicate?  When you are listening to your own words, do you feel inspired by what you are saying, or do the words you are speaking make you want to crawl under the covers?

 

Am I in present time?  If you are a chronic worrier, you are spending most of your energy focusing on the future.  When you realize this, simply affirm, “I choose to be in present time.”

 

What am I worried about?  Sometimes actually making a list of things you are worried about helps to clear your mind so that you do not keep recycling different versions of the same issues.

 

You may even want to schedule a brief period of time every day to give attention to the things you have on your list of concerns.  Embrace your feelings, and give yourself permission to worry about anything you want during this period of time. The important thing is to give this worry period a specific time frame – the rest of the day is in the worry-free zone.

 

Is this a problem that I can solve?  You will most likely discover that many of the things you are worried about are not in your control because they are someone else’s lessons, and not something you can “fix.” On the other hand, if there IS something you can do,  be sure to get the problem out of your head and take action on your own ideas.

 

Can I change my perspective?  If you cannot actually solve the problem, you can always change your perception of the issue. In other words, if you have done all you know to do, it is very emotionally healthy to accept what you cannot change. Connecting with a higher spiritual power through prayer and meditation is the most powerful way to let go of our attachment as to how our ego wants something to be solved.

 

 

Asking yourself the above questions is a process that takes patience and practice.   Be gentle with yourself.  In time, you will most likely discover that this exercise will transform your worry habit into a much more loving and effective way to help yourself and others.

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

 

Are You Feeling Pushed to the Edge of Your Comfort Zone?

This is an image of a young women on the edge of cliff, tentatively looking down at how high up she is.

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Are you are feeling anxious about the future? Does time seem to be moving forward at lightening speed? Is it getting increasingly difficult to hold onto the familiar? If you have answered, “yes” to any of these questions, you have a lot of company.  

 

 

What is going on? 

 

 

 

On a logical level, we can say that the acceleration of time and change is due to the fact that technology has permeated every aspect of our lives.  It feels like what we accomplished within an hour last year is presently compressed into a minute. So, indeed, time really does appear to be moving more quickly! Yet, there is something much larger going on that transcends our linear physical world.  Most of us are sensing a massive shift that is connected with the infinitely larger metaphysical world of spirituality.  We are all in a stage of our human spiritual growth where we are compelled to awaken to beliefs and perceptions that we have been holding on to that no longer serve us well.  Try as we might, it feels like we just cannot hold onto to the status quo anymore.  The more we progress on our journey of personal growth,  the more we will be confronted with opportunities to get out of our comfort zone.  

 

 

 

What is meant by “comfort zone?”

 

 

 

Your comfort zone is the area of your life where your current life skills allow you to navigate with relative ease.  For example, socializing with familiar people, maintaining a daily routine of activities, and adhering to a schedule of regular events.  

 

 

Why do we resist?

 

 

 

Most of us like to feel comfortable and have a human tendency to try to avoid putting ourselves into new and challenging situations.  The problem with this is that we don’t grow.  If you are not moving forward, you will eventually become stuck. Even though you may feel a little insecure about moving out of familiar spaces, it is really quite healthy to experience the discomfort that comes from growth.  Discomfort is caused by bumping against the boundaries of our outgrown paradigms, indicating that it is time for our mind’s knowledge to catch up with our soul’s wisdom.  When we feel painfully uncomfortable, it is usually not because we are experiencing change, but because we are resisting it. 

 

 

 

Being on the edge of your comfort zone is really a healthy thing because it means that the Universe is inviting you to open up to new possibilities.  While you may be facing the need to make some major changes, it does not have to be frightening.  

 

 

The following are some practical suggestions for easing out of your comfort zone:   

 

 

 

1.  Change something in your daily routine – This could be something as simple as primarily using your non-dominant hand for the day or changing the route you typically take to drive to work or school.

 

 

2.  Take a class in something that is unusual – If you are a predominant left-brain thinker, take a class in painting or dancing.  If you are predominantly a right-brain thinker, you may consider a class to develop your computer skills. 

 

 

3.  Socialize with new people – Be open to bringing new people into your circle of friends. They are likely to bring fresh perspectives into your life and see you in a new light.

 

 

4.   Commit to doing something you have avoided – Many times we procrastinate doing something new because we are judging ourselves too harshly.  If you have avoided taking that exercise class, make it a priority.  If you have always wanted to speak in front of a group of people, find a small group that coincides with your interests and make a presentation.

 

 

5.  Break down a large goal into manageable steps – What appears to be an impossible goal can become much more motivating when we bring it down into a list of actionable tasks.  

 

 

6.  Travel to new places – Being open to new sights and cultures is a wonderful way to broaden our perspectives.  If traveling is beyond your budget, try taking a tour of where you presently live through the eyes of a visitor.  It is amazing how we become immune to all the opportunities that exist within the areas in which we live. 

 

 

 

Take a deep breath and begin to practice the habit of accepting the fact that change is a wonderful part of being alive!  Being on the edge of your comfort zone indicates that you are becoming more of who you are and that you are on the brink of experiencing a larger version of life.  Many times the most difficult times come right before you are about to make a major break through.  

 

 

 

Chuck Yeager, the first test pilot ever to fly faster than the speed of sound, expressed this so simply when responding to a journalist who asked him to explain his amazing experience.  He responded:

 

 

 

“Just before you break the sound barrier, the cockpit shakes the most!”

 

 

 

Are you on the edge of your comfort zone?  I welcome your insights!

 

 

 

Love and Light,

 

 

Sandra

 

What is the Spiritual Significance of Pain?

This is an image of a monarch butterfly emerging from its chrysalis

© Doug Lemke/shutterstock

 

 

While it may not be our favorite part of life, at some time or another every one of us experiences mental, emotional, and physical pain and disease.  Perhaps the most obvious benefit to feeling pain is that it certainly gets our attention.  Pain is like the indicator lights and alarms in our cars indicating something is amiss.  Chances are that we ignored some rather obvious clues before the panic lights came on, such as getting gas, changing the oil, or recharging the battery.

 

 

The same is true in our personal lives.  Many times we experience mental, emotional, and physical pain only after we have ignored many warning signs.  How often do we abuse ourselves by not paying attention to the many subtle messages that come in whispers–messages to trust our intuition, slow down our work pace, exercise more, eat more nutritiously, spend more time with our families, or forgive someone?  If we continue to ignore the “whisper messages,” the symptoms escalate until we are forced to pay attention due to a major mental, emotional, or physical crisis.

 

 

Like the indicator lights, pain is not a permanent condition in and of itself.  Pain is a symptom telling us that we are sensing something in our lives that requires healing.  In other words, we are literally feeling dis-ease with the misalignment of our physical reality with our spiritual truth of unconditional love.

 

 

Because we cannot separate the body and mind

from our soul connection to Spirit,

pain registers physically, emotionally, and mentally.

 

 

The obvious place we sense pain is in our bodies because our bodies physically indicate the ease and dis-ease within our lives in a very apparent way.  Although we have a tendency to dismiss bodily pain and illness as “just physical,” in truth, our bodies are the visible physical signals indicating deeper, underlying emotional issues calling out to be healed.  Many times the physical symptoms we see and experience correlate with the emotional issues we need to resolve.  For example, we may say that someone in our lives is a “pain in the neck,” and sure enough, we physically experience pain in the neck.  We may be experiencing an emotional break-up with a loved one and physically feel pain in the heart . A long-term, serious illness is many times a very large symptom of a spiritual issue that requires our full attention and is ready to be healed.  It is like the Universe is shouting out to us to pay attention to something.  For example, an auto-immune disease is a disease in which the body attacks itself–a symptom that calls our attention to the need to unconditionally love our physical bodies.  For some of us, pain registers more obviously in the form of mental imbalance and illness.  While there are a myriad of medical diagnoses to describe mental illness, the bottom line is that mental illness, physical illness, and emotional pain are all indications that our soul is not feeling aligned with how we are experiencing our physical world.

 

 

We can struggle with pain or we can move to a deeper level of healing by listening to the messages that it brings:

 

 

Many times our greatest growth periods come through the experience of pain.  Those of us who have experienced a dark time in life through serious illness or emotional trauma know the opportunity it brings for enormous wisdom and insight.  Sometimes we have to experience the contrast of darkness in order to find the light.  Indeed, there are lessons within our lives that may be much more apparent in the darkness of our despair because we focus more intensely when there are fewer things to see.  It is like walking into a dark room–at first we can see nothing, yet after our eyes have had a chance to refocus, we begin to see particular items in the room even though the room is still dark.  Likewise, we can have some very profound insights about areas of our life that need improvement when we are slowed down by injuries from an accident or while we are quietly lying in bed recovering from an illness, away from our hectic daily routines.

 

 

Painful experiences also remind us how to be compassionate and non-judgmental toward others.  We can theorize about what it might feel like to have a serious sickness, deal with a drug addiction, go through a divorce, watch a friend or relative experience an anguishing death, lose a job, or have serious money problems; but it is the actual experience of living through these types of painful times that opens our hearts to express tenderness and total compassion to others who are wrestling with their own challenges in life.

 

 

Pain helps us to appreciate the pleasures in life.  It is through the contrast of pain that we also come to appreciate the pleasures of life.  I understand, first hand, that serious illness and long-term physical, mental, and emotional pain can be extremely overwhelming and very distracting.  All the more reason that it is crucial to our overall well-being to adopt a frame of mind in which we are committed to learn from our experiences rather than allow the pain to control our lives.  Although pain is not pleasant, it is a temporary experience that is part of our human spiritual growth and evolution.  Like the caterpillar emerging from the cocoon, it is uncomfortable but ultimately a part of  the process of humanity’s transformation from a world of separation to a world of Oneness.

 

 

  “Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. 

 

Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.

 

And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy.”

– Kahlil Gibran

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

 

 

I welcome your sharing experiences with how you are dealing with or have overcome painful experiences.

How Do We Let Go of the Past?

This is an image of the past, the future, and a person in front of the word NOW.

© Anson0618/shutterstock

 

 

In order to heal our lives and move forward, we need to let go of the past.  How many times have we heard this statement?  Yet, most of us feel at least a little resistance at the thought of letting go of the past.  In truth, most people feel a great deal of reluctance to “let go of the past.”  

 

 

 

Why do we resist?

 

 

 

Many times we hold on to the past simply because we are afraid of change. We have an amazing propensity to hold onto the familiar–even if it is causing us harm.  How often have we clung to a destructive relationship, a job we have long outgrown, or even a consistently poor performing financial investment just because we are afraid of change?  Generally speaking our greatest fear is of the unknown.  Since the very nature of life is change, we are powerless to remain in the status quo.  Our choice is to be victimized by the changes that are naturally evolving all around us or to make conscious choices that coincide with the quality of life we want to be living in present time.

 

 

 

Isn’t it important to remember the past?

 

 

 

Of course it is.  Healing our lives does not require that we forget the past. But remembering is not the same thing as becoming entrapped in old patterns of behavior simply because we are afraid to make changes. Past experiences, both positive and negative, serve us well when we learn from them and use these lessons as a springboard from which to launch new thought patterns that promote our health and growth. 

 

 

 

What we need to let go of is our tendency to continue to focus on the painful memories of the past.  Since whatever we focus on is what we create, every time we give our attention to a painful situation from the past, we give our energy to repeating the same patterns of behavior.  For example, if you habitually focus on childhood abandonment, you are likely to find yourself in many relationships where you are abandoned.  Just as importantly, it is essential to realize that every time you focus your attention on painful memories of the past, you re-create the stressful mind and body responses that you associate with that memory, such as grief, depression, and heartache.  
 
 

How Do We Let Go of the Past?

 

 

 

Forgive Yourself – Free yourself from your bondage to the past by forgiving yourself for the many choices you made that you now perceive as “mistakes.”  Sure, in retrospect, you might have done things differently.  Remember, you have gotten wiser with every experience you have had, so back then you didn’t have the same basis of knowledge that you now have.  

 

 

Forgive The People Who Have Hurt You – Take back your power!  Every time you blame someone for painful experiences in the past you are allowing them to rule your thoughts!

 

(You may find the blog on “Forgiveness, The Greatest Gift We Give Ourselves,” April 23, 2013, to be very helpful.)

 

 

Be Conscious of Your Thinking – Become aware of when your thoughts are focused on negative past events and situations.  Simply acknowledging where you are giving your attention empowers you to return your thoughts to present time.

 

 

Express gratitude for the lessons learned – Focus on how you have learned and grown with every experience you have had.

 

 

Choose to be in present time – Savor every moment of your life journey.  Since the past is over and the future is not yet here, the only time that is “real” is NOW.   

 

 

 

Where you are in life right now is the result of your thoughts from the past.  Being fully present empowers you to make new choices that can change your reality.  In fact, whatever you are thinking in this moment is creating your future!

 

 

 

Love and Light,

 

 

 

Sandra

 

 

 

You can access more insights to letting go of the past by ordering the book, The Power of Oneness, Live The Life You Choose™.

 

 

 

Do you have any experiences you would like to share that have prepared you to live in present time?  As always, I welcome your thoughts.

 

 

How Can We Overcome Loneliness?

This is a black and white photograph of a little boy alone on a swing in the park

© vladm/shutterstock

If you are struggling with loneliness, you are not alone.

Every person experiences feelings of isolation from time to time.

 

 

Being alone and being lonely are not the same thing.  It is very healthy for each of us to create some “alone time” every day, away from the external commotion and daily demands of family and work.  Alone time, in this sense, feels good because we are honoring our need to nurture and regenerate ourselves through our mind/body connection with Spirit and to feel the peace that lies within the silence.

 

 

Feeling lonely, on the other hand, generally does not feel pleasant.  It is accompanied by a sense of sadness and disconnection from other people and life in general.  Being around a lot of people is not necessarily an antidote to loneliness.  In fact, loneliness can feel even more intense when we are in a crowd of people or in an unhappy personal relationship.  Ironically, even in our present world of technology  where millions of people can connect 24/7 via email, Facebook, and Twitter, we can still find ourselves feeling intensely lonely.  How can this be?

 

In order to understand why we are lonely, it is important

to become aware of what is causing it. 

 

 

Sometimes people choose to be loners because of childhood developmental factors:

 

    • If one has been abandoned by one or both parents, there is a strong tendency to be reluctant to commit to intimate relationships.

 

    • Being raised by critical or unaffectionate parents may cause a person to be emotionally withdrawn.

 

    • If one has been raised in a family environment of substance abuse, there is a likely tendency to become distrustful of others.

 

Even without these factors, some people feel innately disconnected and simply never learn to communicate well or have a low self-esteem and avoid socializing for fear of being rejected.

 

There are also many situational factors in life that can cause us to feel alone:

 

    • It could be that you are experiencing the deep, irreplaceable loss that comes with the death of a loved one.

 

    • Suffering from a disability or long-term disease can cause one to feel that no one else could possibly understand how much courage and endurance  it takes to just survive on a daily basis.

 

    • You may be experiencing the huge void that frequently comes with divorce, or you may be feeling alone in your exhaustive, seemingly never-ending search to find the ideal partner.

 

    • It can also feel very isolating to change jobs or to relocate to a new area, perhaps causing you to leave family and familiar friends and co-workers.

 

    • A financial set-back may leave you feeling that you are alone in a world with fewer choices than you once had.  Maybe some social setbacks have caused you to believe that no one else would be interested in your company.

 

Understanding the many factors that cause loneliness helps us to understand why all of us, at one time or another, feel like we are all by ourselves in a sea of humanity.  While any one and all of these situations and conditions are compelling reasons for feeling lonely, they are merely symptomatic of a much deeper loneliness that is being felt at a soul level by humanity at large.  We are longing, at a core level, to connect with something infinitely larger than ourselves and return to the Oneness of Spirit.

 

 The only way we can ultimately fill the void within our hearts

is through the energy of unconditional love.

 

 

So how can we heal our loneliness?

 

Pray and Meditate – Commit yourself to create at least 20 minutes of silence every day to pray and meditate.  This is essential in order to remember that, no matter what you are experiencing, you are unconditionally connected with Universal Love.       

 

Be compassionate and kind to yourself –  Let go of the self-judgment and allow yourself to just BE.  Every person on earth has “their story” of the infinite ways in which they are being challenged.  Life is not a pass/fail contest – it’s all about becoming whole.

 

Change what you can change – Be your own best friend and ask yourself what you most need to feel less lonely.  Would it help you to schedule more social time with friends?  Join a special interest organization?  Attend church?  Join a spiritual community?  Go to the health club?  Volunteer with a local charity?  Spend more time in nature?  Get an animal companion?  Whatever it is, be conscious of ways that you can best help yourself to enjoy life more and then act on it.

 

Accept what you cannot change –   While it is true that we don’t get to pick all the circumstances that challenge us in life, we can always choose the attitude with which we experience this spiritual journey.  Cultivating an attitude of focusing on the lesson rather than the problem will help you to maintain a positive attitude that will attract other people who have optimistic outlooks.

 

 

Most importantly, remember that you are NEVER ALONE.  We are all brothers and sisters walking this earth together, and we all have the same mission – to integrate our minds and bodies with the love of Spirit. Each of us is doing the best we know to do for now – in our own time – and in our own way.

 

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

 

You are the Artist Painting the Picture of Your Life

This is the image of a painter with their palette of beautiful an colorful oil paints

© kuznetcov_konstantin/shutterstock

 

 

Each one of us creates our personal reality through our perceptions.

 

Perception is how we interpret our environment through physical sensation. Whether we are conscious of it or not, our perceptions determine the way in which we see and experience absolutely everything in our lives. One way to understand our individual perceptions is to imagine that we are all born with our own personal paint brushes and a palette with an infinite array of colors. Our lives are the neutral canvas on which each of us paints our own individual pictures, depending on how we perceive our experiences.

 

 

The greatest divine gift given to humanity is free will

to choose our personal perceptions.

 

 

Will is defined by Webster as follows: to determine by an act of choice; the mental powers manifested as wishing, choosing, desiring, or intending. When we are aware that we can choose our perceptions, we empower ourselves to live consciously and, through our thoughts and imagination, we can choose how we want to perceive our experiences.

 

 

Each of us is an artist painting our own personal reality

through our unique perceptions.

 

 

We tend to label only certain types of people as “being creative,” such as dancers, artists, singers, sculptors, and chefs. The truth is that each one of us is an artist painting our own personal reality with the brush of every thought we have.

 

 

While we may all be looking at the same scenery, each person’s picture is different because we all sense life in a unique and individual way. One person’s picture may be delicate brushes with a few objects of pastel colors, another a very busy picture in broad strokes of vivid colors, yet another in all different shades of the same color with no objects at all. Two world-renowned artists demonstrate this contrast of world view beautifully. Picasso expressed his feelings through dramatic and bold art using seemingly random strokes of deep, vibrant colors. Monet’s art was a gentle expression of nature through pastel colors using delicate, intricate strokes.

 

 

This is why we can all experience the same thing, yet have entirely different responses. It also explains why ten people can interpret the same situation in ten different ways, each one thinking that he or she is “right.” It does not matter how anyone else sees the scenery, the individual pictures of how we perceive situations with our minds are what is real for each one of us.

 

 

Understanding that everyone has an entirely different way of perceiving their life experiences helps us to embrace another person’s point of view without judgment. It also helps us to appreciate the infinite number of ways in which each one of us expresses our feelings and views of life. Through our acceptance of the differences within each other, we honor the gift each one of us brings through the genuine expression of our true self.

 

 

You can read more about how we create our own reality through our perceptions on page 36, The Power of Oneness. Live The Life You Choose.

 

 

What are some ways in which you express your creative nature?

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

Getting Unstuck

This is an image of a beautiful woman jumping for joy on the beach

© Subbotina Anna/shutterstock

We have all had times in our lives when we have felt “stuck.”  What an uncomfortable feeling!  It is like being sucked into a dark emotional whirlpool of indecision and total lack of direction!  When this happens, we go round and round until we actually begin to believe that we are living a life with few or no options.

 

The state of occasionally feeling stuck is part of our spiritual growth and generally follows major shifts in our lives.  It often follows a period of trauma, such as: getting divorced, losing a loved one, a health crisis, or financial loss. Interestingly, it is equally common to experience this feeling following “positive” changes in our lives, such as: getting married, the birth of a child, sending the last child off to school, getting a promotion at work, moving our home location, or retiring.   

 

Often times we deal with the aftermath of going through these traumas and major transitions by “freezing,” which is actually the equivalent of an emotional aftershock.  As always, we need to respect ourselves by honoring and expressing the feelings we have that accompany the shifts within our lives.  We need to be aware of and express grief, anger, resentment, fear, and the myriad of emotions that each experience brings out within us.  Also, this period of emotional plateauing is healthy in that we may require some time to stabilize ourselves in order to prepare for shifting into the new priorities that follow major life changes. 

 

A problem arises only when we remain in this “frozen state” for long periods of time by continuing to focus on the past. Continuing to resist the changes in our lives, whether positive or negative, can cause a great deal of suffering and, over a prolonged period of time, can eventually cause depression.  Depression causes a paralytic state of mind that blocks our creativity and ability to flow with change.  

 

There is an underlying theme beneath the feeling of being stuck:  When we experience major change in our lives, we tend to pause and question our purpose.  In other words, as we end one stage of life and begin another, we are called upon to create new ideas of what we want to do with our lives.  Major life transitions are intersections; and, just as we do when approaching a traffic intersection, we need to slow down in order to switch directions.

 

Here are some suggestions for getting unstuck and moving “into the flow:”

 

1. Express Your Feelings – Be aware of your emotions and express them to supportive people in your life. This helps your mind to process the changes you are experiencing with greater ease and helps to keep your heart open.

 

2. Forgive Yourself – Many times we beat ourselves up with the “I should have,” “I wish I had,” and “If only” statements.  Some of the life shifts you are experiencing can feel like walloping blows to your sense of third dimensional security.  Be kind to yourself by acknowledging that you are doing the best you know to do with what is going on in your life. 

 

3. Develop the Habit of Self-Loving Dialogue – Consciously choose to talk to yourself as though you were your own best friend. By making this a regular practice, you will eventually reinforce your self-esteem.

 

4. Focus on the Lessons Learned Through the Changes – Every experience you have ever had has helped you to become wiser and more whole.  When you glean the life lessons you most need to learn from your challenging experiences,  you will not repeat the same unproductive patterns.

 

5. Express Gratitude for the Lessons – Expressing appreciation for both the ups and downs of life is a wonderful way to attract blessings and to live in a state of grace, no matter what you are experiencing.

 

6. Create a New Dream – The completion of each state of life offers the opportunity for the beginning of a new one. This is the perfect time to decide what you would like to do to expand your life through new adventures. (You may find it helpful to read my previous blog from August 27, “Creating Visions of Your Desired Reality.”) 

 

7. Step Into Your Dream – The most effective way to break out of inertia is to take action.  NOW is the time to take the first step toward fulfilling your visions of new beginnings. You do not have wait until the perfect time, the perfect place, or the perfect opportunity.  There is no “right” or “wrong” when it comes to being the author of your own life.  Every single action that you take toward realizing your new dream creates momentum. As the famous Nike slogan so aptly expresses, “Just Do It!” 

 

The energy of life is dynamic, so change is inevitable.  HOW we experience change is a choice.  When we resist change, we feel stuck; when we accept it, we free ourselves to learn and grow and to experience inner peace, no matter what is going on in our outer world.  

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra