Category Archives: Life Purpose

Creating Visions of Your Desired Reality

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Image of a stick figure with the words, "Dream Big" in the foreground

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The more we evolve in our personal spiritual healing, the more apparent it is that there is a large gap between our present physical reality and the ideal experience of a world of unity and wholeness.  How, then, do we get from where we are to where we want to be?  How do we stretch out into new realities which we have never seen with our physical eyes?

 

 

We all have dreams tucked away in our hearts of our ideal version of life.  Whether we remember or not, each of us has the extraordinary ability to bring our dreams of a kinder, more enlightened world into our physical reality through the practice of creating visions.  Visions are mental pictures, inspired by the soul, clarifying the quality of life we truly want to experience. While ordinary sight is our ability to see tangible things with our physical eyes, we also have the amazing capacity to see from an infinitely, more expansive perspective–we can see with our mind’s eye (also known as our “third eye”) by imagining something we want to see which is not yet visible in our concrete physical world.

 

 

What is the purpose of creating visions?

 

 

Visions give meaning and purpose to our lives because they are the mental images which guide our actions toward a desired outcome.  Visions originate at a soul level and fuel our passion for living.   In the immortal words of Aristotle, “The soul cannot think without a picture.”  When we truly understand this, it is hard to imagine why we would ever want to live our lives without conscious visions of new realities.  Most of us would not consider building a house without a blueprint of how we want it to look when we are finished–we would not mindlessly start digging out foundations, drilling holes, and nailing up walls without any idea of what we want to create.  Yet, when it comes to the most important structure we can ever build, the context of our lives, we tend to aimlessly react to situations without ever taking the time to envision the ideal of what we want to accomplish.

 

 

How do we know what we want to envision?

 

 

The seeds of our visions are within our dreams.  When we speak of dreams, most of us think of the unconscious messages we receive as we sleep. Our nighttime dreams link our conscious with our subconscious and reveal our innermost thoughts and feelings.  Although nighttime dreams many times appear to make no sense (from a logical point of view), they often provide us with spiritual guidance and insight.  Our dreams are not only revealed in the unconscious messages that are received as we sleep, but also in the conscious desires we constantly carry within our hearts that are begging to be expressed through our actions.  Our daydreams express our aspirations and are many times revealed in the “I’ve always wanted to” statements we find ourselves saying. It is that irrepressible inner drive we have to do something no matter how illogical it may seem – that inner voice that relentlessly speaks to us of things we need to do in order to honor our need to genuinely express our true self.  If we have suppressed our heartfelt desires for a long time, we may think we no longer have any dreams.  The truth is that no matter how long we have squelched dreams of what we want to achieve in our lives, they remain within our hearts until we claim them.

 

 

What are some effective ways in which you can reinforce your visions?

 

 

While dreams are the seeds of all new possibilities, they can only come true if you support them with your actions; and, as always your actions are a choice. Below are a few suggestions for activating your visions:

 

Focus – Since visions are fueled by the soul, focus on the qualities you want to experience in life (such as love, joy, peace, harmony, fulfillment, health); rather than material accumulation.

 

Written and verbal statements – Words have creative power! Develop a habit of talking and writing about what you WANT to see in your life, rather than complaining about how things are.

 

Meditation/Visualization – It is very effective to take 5-10 minutes every day to find a quiet space, close your eyes, and  imagine yourself experiencing a desired situation.  It is particularly effective to imagine how it FEELS to be experiencing what you desire.

 

Prayer –  Ask for divine guidance as to how you can best serve humanity.  This will attract opportunities into your life that align with your talents and interests.

 

Pictures and Drawings – Visions can be literal or metaphoric.  Drawing pictures stimulates the imagination and brings your mental pictures into physical visibility.

 

Gratitude Journal  – Writing in a journal about what you are grateful for opens your heart to receiving the flow of Universal blessings that are already there for you.

 

Physical Enactment  – Pretend that what you are imagining has already come true and that you are acting out the vision.  For example, if you desire to move to a new home, start cleaning out your closets and get organized as though you have already signed the contract to buy a new house.  This sends out a powerful message to the Universe that you believe in your ability to be creative.

 

Be Open to Outcomes – When you consistently hold a vision of living the quality of life you choose, the Universe answers in ways that are for the greatest good of all.  Let go of trying to manipulate how your visions unfold and surrender the outcome to the far more magnificent infinite potential of the Universe.

 

 

Ultimately, we are all here to love and be loved.  Each of us is internally programmed with special gifts and unique ways to bring unconditional love into this third dimensional reality.  Visions make it possible to ignite your dreams sparks by transforming the passive mode of merely wishing for something into the far more dynamic mode of pro-actively co-creating with the Universe.  With practice, you will discover that your visions create a guiding light that magnetizes you to live in the light of spiritual love.

 

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

Why Are Our Thoughts So Powerful?

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Whether or not we are conscious of it, our minds are always working.  Every thought we have is an energetic impulse which is constantly creating who we are and the circumstances within our lives.  This means that we are each participating in the awesome process of creation with each and every thought that we have!  Creation is not only something which has already happened – it is the eternal moment-to-moment manifestations of our thinking.  Manifestation is the process of our thoughts becoming evident to one or more of our five physical senses.

 

 

The creative dynamic of thought is sometimes referred to as The Law of Manifestation.   Like gravity, manifestation is a principle of nature which is constantly in effect, whether we are aware of it or not.  We begin to appreciate the miraculous power of our thoughts by understanding some of the dynamics of the Law of Manifestation.

 

 

All of our thoughts manifest into our physical world.

 

 

Absolutely everything we see and experience in our physical world began as a thought.  Whether it be the chair on which you are sitting, the birthday party you recently attended, or the picture you admired at the art gallery, it all began as an idea in someone’s mind.  You are always thinking; therefore, you are perpetually creating.  We are all channels of universal energy which is consistently flowing to and through us.  Because universal energy is the essence of life, it is neutral; however, as it flows through our minds it becomes positive or negative, depending on your perceptions.  Your thoughts, both positive and negative, generate your reality. Hatred and violence are manifestations of negative thoughts, just as love and peace are manifestations of positive thoughts.  Since you are automatically always creating, the question is:  Do you want to create consciously from the space of spiritual truth, or do you want to unconsciously allow the energy of mass consciousness to govern your thoughts?  Living a life of integrity requires that you master your own thought process on a conscious level rather than allowing your thoughts to be controlled by others or trying to control the thoughts of others.

 

 

What we focus on expands.

 

 

When you steadfastly hold to an intention, whatever you are concentrating on expands, whether it involves a person or a situation.  For example, when you consciously intend to focus on what you like about someone, you find more to like about that person and your relationship with that person is very likely to improve. If your intention is to concentrate on their faults, you will increasingly find more to dislike about that person, which is bound to create more difficulties in your relationship.  Likewise, when you focus your attention on the things that are going “wrong” in your life, you will create more problems within your life to confirm your thoughts that life is a constant struggle.  When you dedicate your attention to all the things that are going “right” in your life, you will observe and experience increasingly more pleasant situations.

 

 

What we think is what we attract.

 

 

When we set our thoughts into motion with our intentions, the universe responds through the law of attraction.  Because every thought is an electrical impulse, each of us is like a radio station in that we transmit our thoughts by sending out a certain frequency.  The frequencies of our thoughts are vibrations.  The vibrations of our thoughts magnetize other thoughts on the same frequency.  This means that whatever we send out is what comes back to us – thoughts of love attract loving people and situations;  just as thoughts of fear attract fearful people and situations.

 

 

We can change our reality by changing our thoughts.

 

 

If you don’t like what we see in your exterior world, you don’t have to wait for the circumstances to change.  You have the creative power to change your external circumstances by changing the internal world of your thoughts!

 

 

How many times have we heard ourselves and others say that our lives will be better when we have more money, more time, less work, fewer problems, and the list goes on and on.  When we do this, we are, in essence, waiting for our circumstances to change us instead of changing our situations.  Our life circumstances are not the cause of thoughts – they are the result of the thoughts we are sending out to the world!  We do not need to wait for situations to change before we feel better.  When we choose to think differently, the circumstances will follow our thoughts.

 

 

Life is not a permanent condition.  It is a dynamic process of constant change and growth.  If we don’t like what we are attracting, we have the power to change how we are experiencing life by changing the thoughts we are projecting.  Our frequency then changes, as does everything we attract.

 

 

What an amazing realization!  We have the power to change the condition of our lives. When we change our thoughts we change the world around us!  After all, we ARE infinite potential!

 

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

What is the Difference Between “Giving Up” and “Letting Go?”

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Most of us have been barraged throughout our lives with messages about the importance of “never giving up,” so the thought of ever “letting go” might seem weak and powerless.  In fact, you might perceive that these two concepts are totally opposite.

 

 

So what IS the difference between “never giving up” and “letting go?”  Actually, I believe they are different sides of the same coin.

 

 

Never Give Up

 

 

Many of us associate the phrase, “never give up” with a perception of having a relentless, uncompromising, pre-conceived idea of how we view things should be, as well as maintaining a dogged determination to make it happen. This interpretation feeds into the illusion that we have control over other people and outer circumstances and can prove to be very exhausting and frustrating.

 

 

I believe that the loving, spiritual meaning beneath this phrase
is never give up on YOURSELF. 

 

 

In order to stay true to yourself, it is healthy to never give up on:

 

     1.  Remembering that you have the power to co-create with the Universe.  You do this by praying, imagining, clarifying dreams, holding visions, and setting goals that serve to take you in the direction of creating the qualities of life you choose to live.

 

     2.  Persisting to have the enormous amount of courage it takes in order to face your fears head-on.

 

     3.  Mustering up the inner strength required to handle the many set-backs that occur when things do not turn out in the specific ways you have imagined.

 

     4.  Rising above the criticism that you face from people who do not support you in your dreams, visions, and goals.

 

     5.  Committing to take action on the infinite numbers of things you need to do to cooperate with the Universe to make your dreams of a better life come true.

 

     6.  Having the faith to believe that every experience you have is taking you in the direction of Wholeness, no matter how it looks in your physical world.

 

     7.  And that’s where “letting go” comes in.

 

 

 

Letting Go

 

 

Many of us associate the phrase “letting go” with giving up, resignation, quitting, and “losing.”  Far from the truth!  Actually, “letting go” is an attitude of tremendous inner spiritual strength.  It means that after we take full responsibility for honoring our personal roles in co-creating with the Universe by “never giving up” on ourselves (items 1 to 6 above) – we then “let go” of trying to control how everything manifests in our lives.

 

 

Simply stated, “letting go” means letting go of our personal attachment to outcomes.  When we “let go,” we are not sacrificing anything.  Indeed, we are creating a vastly larger space to allow for the  Infinite Potential of the Universe to create magnificent outcomes that far transcend our human perceptions.  This is because we are choosing to put the limitation of our egos aside and  accept  that Divine Love is at work in manifesting how our thoughts, words, and actions appear to us in our physical world – even when the outcomes don’t coincide with our personal ideas. “Letting go” is having the faith to accept that the Universe is totally cooperating with us through the power of unconditional love.

 

 

When seen from this higher spiritual perspective, we can see that  “never giving up” on ourselves and “letting go” of our attachment to outcomes are two dynamics that actually work in perfect harmony!

 

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

You Are Worthy!

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Sign with clouds behind that says, "Self-Worth

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Do you constantly long for wonderful things in your life that just don’t seem to be happening?  Perhaps you are hoping for more love in your relationships, greater financial abundance, a career you truly enjoy, and better health.  You have worked hard, may have thought about the quality of life you desire in countless ways, imagined it, and prayed for it – and still, it just doesn’t seem to be manifesting into your reality!

 

 

So why aren’t your hopes and dreams for a better life coming true? 

 

 

In your pure state of spirituality, there is a higher aspect of yourself that already knows you deserve to be loved, joyful, healthy, peaceful and living in abundance. This is the natural way of being your Essential Self, or often times referred to as your Higher Self, that is connected to spiritual truth. When your thoughts are in harmony with your truth, you remember that you DESERVE to receive all of these blessings.

 

 

There is also another aspect of yourself, which is the ego part of your mind, that dwells on thoughts of fear.  All thought is creative, so whatever you are experiencing is a giant mirror reflecting your predominant thoughts.  When you focus on fear, you create fearful circumstances.  When you choose to focus on unconditional love, you create loving experiences.  Since fear is the opposite of love, when you choose thoughts of fear, you are blocking the flow of blessings that naturally flow to you through the energy of unconditional love.

 

 

One major way in which we block the flow of blessings manifesting into our physical reality is through guilt and shame.  

 

 

When we hold on to these self-defeating fearful emotions, we are basically sending out a conflicting message to the Universe:  “Yes, I ask for all these blessings to come into my life; but no, I can’t accept them because I am not deserving.”  By doing this, we are separating our Spiritual Self from our Physical Self and are standing in our own way of receiving,  Not surprisingly, we don’t feel like we are in the flow of life.

 

 

If you are feeling guilty or shameful, you are most likely dwelling on the past and judging yourself for all the things you have said or done to hurt yourself and others. Perhaps the rationalization you are using for holding onto guilt and shame is that you feel the need to punish yourself for the many things you may have said or done in the past that you now perceive as “wrong.”  The problem is that this type of self-flagellation does not heal anyone or anything. In truth, holding onto guilt and self-punishment is a form of ego that confirms victimhood.  If not expressed and transformed, chances are that your feelings of guilt and shame will turn into long-term resentment, bitterness, and anger because you are not being kind to yourself.

 

 

Express your feelings

 

 

Feeling guilty and shameful at times is human and appropriate.  This is why it is important to be honest with yourself about your feelings and express them in a constructive way.  Talking with a non-judgmental friend or professional health practitioner, spending time with people you love, participating in physical activity, and being with nature are just a few ways to let out your emotions. Expressing your feelings of guilt and shame is healthy – on the other hand, making these feelings a permanent foundation for your beliefs about yourself  is extremely damaging.  It can become a constant excuse for denying yourself the quality of life you want to live.

 

 

Forgive Yourself

 

 

After you express your feelings, FORGIVE YOURSELF.  Forgiving yourself does not mean that you just forget about everything.  Forgiveness is a choice to stop living in the past and adjust your thoughts to focus in present time, where all possibilities exist.  Forgiving yourself actually requires that you take full responsibility to choose healthier thoughts and actions.  Since the past is already behind you, you now have a choice:  you can drag along the pain and sorrow of your past experiences, or you can carry forward the lessons and growth that you have gained from dealing with the many challenges in your life. While this may seem like an oversimplification, this single decision will have a healing effect on your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions – in other words, it will change your whole reality!

 

 

Then make a commitment to yourself to be as honest and kind as you know to be to yourself and others from this point forward.  This intention, based on forgiveness of self and others, requires an enormous amount of practice every day in every way.  It is more than worth it because it harmonizes your thoughts with the frequency of Universal Love and will clear the way for you to receive the infinite blessings you DESERVE.

 

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

Choosing to Have the Courage to Be Yourself

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Ironically, one of the greatest fears we humans have is that we will be vulnerable if we express our true self to the world.  In an attempt to “protect” ourselves, we many times project emotions which we do not authentically feel, display behaviors which are designed to please others, and say things we don’t really mean.

 

 

Why do we do this? 

 

 

We live in a society in which we are conditioned to focus primarily on outer stimulation. From earliest childhood, many of us were taught by well-intentioned parents, teachers, and caregivers to define ourselves by what other people think of us.  Seeking the approval of others quickly became the major motivation for most of our behavior patterns, starting very early in the lives of many of us.  As a result, we may have developed a belief system that our self-worth is determined by the opinions of others rather than learning to develop our own sense of self-esteem based on inner values.  Unless we became aware of this perception and chose to change it, we most likely continued to perpetuate this belief into adulthood.  

 

 

Why does this cause pain in our lives?

 

 

One of the tenets of the Universal Law of Manifestation is that we attract what we project.  Accordingly, if we do not project our authentic selves, we will not attract responses from other people that align with who we truly are.  For example, most of us have been in numerous life situations where we have knocked ourselves out trying to please someone by being the selfless mother, father, spouse, sibling, or friend.  We emotionally gave and gave until eventually we felt depleted.  We were desperately seeking approval for our heroic deeds.  When we did not get back what we considered an appropriate response, we felt totally unappreciated and, perhaps, even rejected.  This seemingly selfless approach is far from selfless because it cultivates an environment where everyone is looking to everyone else to feel regenerated.

 

 

Does it take courage to express our true self?

 

 

Of course it takes courage to live an authentic life in which we are projecting our honest self, rather than hiding behind layers of veneers that we have designed to deflect the hurtful thoughts and actions of others. It is important to remember that  “courage”  (root word cuer, meaning heart) does not mean the absence of fear; indeed, we all have fears.  Having courage means that we make a conscious choice to live from the heart by choosing thoughts, words, and actions that are aligned with our spiritual values of kindness, cooperation, and respect for self and others. Interestingly, when we are being who we truly are, we are actually able to detach from needing approval from everyone else because there is an inner peace and sense of confidence that comes from living in integrity.

 

 

The only real “safety” any of us has in life is the security of being our authentic selves.  Every single one of us is amazingly special.  NO ONE ELSE CAN BE YOU!  No other human being has your particular personality, your one-of-a-kind brain, your special body, and your extraordinary soul. YOUR UNIQUENESS is a contribution to all of humanity.

 

 

When you express your TRUE SELF to the world, you are sharing the physical expression of the Love and Light of your soul. What could be more “safe?”

 

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

The Power of Prayer

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In the midst of a physical world in which we are all being tremendously challenged to grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, there is nothing more effective in bringing us peace and balance than prayer.

 

 

“Prayer” is a word that is many times used in a completely religious context. 

 

 

While prayer is a part of most religions, it is so much more than a practice or ritual that is specific to any religion. Whatever differences we may have in our personal and religious perceptions, studies consistently show that the majority of our world population believes in a spiritual Supreme Being.  The terms we use to describe this Supreme Being are very personal and depend upon our individual beliefs. In religions, this life force is referenced by many names, some of which are God, Jehovah, Adonoi, Yahweh, and Allah. Some of the spiritual terms used to describe this creative life force are: Creator, Creative Source, Universal Love, Oneness, Supreme Being, Source of Unconditional Love, and Universal Source.

 

 

 
It does not matter what we choose to call this Source of Unconditional Love – We are all connected to it! 

 

 

As we awaken to our truth, we are remembering that we all have a direct soul connection with this Field of Unconditional Love. This awareness also helps us to realize that prayer is much more than a religious exercise – it is a human experience!  We do not need to do anything to “qualify” ourselves to be able to pray, nor do we need to be sanctified in any way. Our ability to pray is as natural as breathing. Since we cannot define it in human concepts, we can only experience it as a constantly emerging energy of life within and all around us. We can feel it in our hearts as unity, expansion, and wholeness. 

 

 

Prayer is the bridge that links each of our individual souls to each other and to the Source of Unconditional Love. 

 

 

When we pray, we are opening our hearts and minds to inviting the energy of unconditional love into our lives. I think of prayer as having a radar connection to “Home.” While we are immersed in darkness – it is our point of reference in the midst of confusion and chaos. Our prayers are always answered. Sometimes we don’t recognize the universal responses to our prayers because they do not manifest exactly in the ways that we are expecting from our individual perspectives. Because prayer links us into the “Power of Oneness,” it is our connection with Infinite Potential, so there is no limit to the blessings we can receive through prayer. Prayer is on a frequency that resonates with divine light – the same light that is the core essence of each one of us – and has the potential to transform any person and any situation in ways that far transcend our human rationale.

 

 

Ask and It Is Given

 

 

The essence of this immortal message has been echoed so many times, in so many ways, and in every language; and yet are we really listening to this message? It is such an awesome and wonderful truth that we find it difficult to believe: WE CAN ASK FOR ANYTHING WE NEED!  Indeed, the only reason we receive so few answers to our prayers is that we ask for so little!  It is through prayer that we can remember truth in a world of drama and illusion, receive inspiration even when we are totally discouraged, and ask for direction whenever we feel lost. The energy that comes into us through prayer gives us the strength to move forward even when we feel vulnerable and fragile.  As we perceive prayer in this light, we realize that it is not necessary to be in a state of panic or misery to justify praying, nor do we have to wait until we have free time or are in a special place.  In fact, prayer is so much a part of our nature that we can pray anytime and anywhere: in a church or in a sports stadium; alone or in a crowd; with our eyes open or closed; aloud or in silence.

 

 

Most importantly, prayer helps us to remember, at the deepest level of our being-ness, that no matter what we are seeing and experiencing, no matter how challenging our situations may be, and no matter what our human differences are, every one of us has the ability to access spiritual truth through our direct connection to Infinite Wisdom.  WHAT A POWERFUL REALIZATION!

 

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

How Can We Access Our Inner Spiritual Wisdom?

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This is an image of a chalkboard with colorful chalk that says, "Follow Your Intuition"

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Living a life of spiritual integrity requires that make we make decisions and choose perceptions that align with our inner spiritual wisdom.  This sounds rather simple, but how do we access our inner wisdom?

 

 

Many of us associate the thought of accessing inner wisdom in an esoteric way, such as: going into a lengthy and deep meditation in an isolated environment; seeking seclusion in a monastery; spending time in a distant place such as an ashram; or, at the very least, needing to be completely alone in a quiet place.  While all of these techniques are highly effective in accessing spiritual wisdom, the truth is that every human being has the ability to instantaneously and directly access the universal field of intelligence from wherever we are, at any time, and all of the time through intuition.  In essence, we are each a conduit for a constant stream of limitless wisdom.

 

 

One of the definitions of intuition is, “the immediate knowing of something without the conscious use of reasoning.   Because intuition is a right-brain function, it isn’t something we can analyze with our minds.  Intuitive messages bypass the judgment of the mind and come directly through to the heart, thus the saying, “the truth is within.”

 

 

How Do We Perceive Intuition?

 

Because intuitive messages come through the heart, they are perceived through our senses.  These feelings are sometimes described as “gut level,” “sixth sense,” “inner wisdom,” “inner knowing,” and “flashes of imagination.”  Many of us actually experience physical sensations when we hear or see something that coincides with our truth.  We may suddenly get goose bumps, feel a tingling sensation, spontaneously take a deep breath, feel an electrical current going up our backs, or sense an overall wave of energy moving throughout the body.  These sensations are indications that our bodies are literally resonating with the energetic frequency of the truth of spirit.  We can also get physical indications when something we are hearing or seeing is not truth.  Usually it is a contracted feeling, such as a knot in the stomach or throat, shortness of breath, or a sudden chill.

 

 

Every person has intuition.

 

 

Although we all sense it in different ways, and some of us even deny sensing it at all, every person has intuitive abilities–it is part of our human nature.

 

 

The reason it appears that not all of us are intuitive is simply because some of us listen to and act upon our inner messages, whereas others simply dismiss them as insignificant.  We many times ignore our intuition because we want to validate our intuitive messages with our left-brain logic and analysis.  When we attempt to do this, we choke the spontaneous flow of wisdom coming through to us because messages of spirit are infinitely larger than the logical paradigms of the mind.  An example of this is getting an intuitive message to write a book and rationalizing all the reasons why it is not a “good idea” before exploring all the possibilities of why it is possible.

 

 

How can we distinguish the difference between “intuitive feelings” and “impulsive feelings?”

 

 

When we get an impulsive message, it is usually initiated by our ego in the form of a whim to immediately do something, whether it is in our greatest good or not.  Our impulse may be to indulge in an addictive behavior, such as overeating, or to run out and buy something we neither need nor can afford.  If it is an impulse, chances are we will change our minds if we wait for a while or sleep on the idea.  Also we are likely to feel guilty or unfulfilled after acting impulsively.

 

 

Intuitive messages, on the other hand, are relentless and persistent.  Even when we ignore them, they have the tenacious habit of resurfacing time and time again.  Intuitive messages are always in our best interests, causing us to feel uplifted and fulfilled.  Because intuition connects us with our Oneness of Spirit, the messages it reveals to us are always rooted in unconditional love and pure truth.  We develop our ability to perceive intuitive messages by listening, trusting, and acting upon them.  The more we do this, the more we empower ourselves to live our lives with spiritual integrity.

 

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

How To Remain Balanced While Helping Others

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Image of two men on a mountain - one trying to pull the other one to the top.

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One of the most sensitive balancing acts we experience in our spiritual growth process is that of helping others in a way that supports them without decreasing our own energy.  There is so much suffering in the world, and most of us truly want to reach out and alleviate some of the pain–especially when we see it within our family members and friends.  However, unless we help others in a mindful way, we are likely to deplete ourselves by draining our own personal energy, rather than being a conduit for channeling the limitless energy of spirit through us and to those whom we are helping.

 

 

Odd as it may seem, we can best help others by first helping ourselves.  We do this by honoring our own needs for spiritual nourishment.  If we try to help someone without being in a position of emotional strength ourselves, we can quickly become drawn into someone else’s drama.  When this happens, not only can we not help anyone, we are actually adding to the collective pain of the world by taking on the negative issues of others.

 

 

When people share with me their pain and aggravation over complicated emotional issues in their lives, I frequently ask them, “What part of this belongs to you?”  While this may seem like a surprising question, it is astonishing how often we waste our energy by getting emotionally entangled in other people’s emotional dramas, rather than being a support system.  Of course, we are greatly impacted by the pain of people whom we care about, and we always have our own lessons to learn or we wouldn’t be involved at all.  But we need to remember that we support others by reinforcing them with our strength–not by imposing our judgment on them or participating in their anger and pain.

 

 

Trying to save someone by getting involved in their emotional issues is like trying to rescue a friend who has slipped onto the edge of a cliff by going out onto the edge with them.  When we do this, not only have we not helped our friend, we have actually added to the problem in that both of us are now in a precarious space and in need of assistance.  Of course, we want to help others, but helping others does not mean self-sacrifice.  There are other, much more effective ways by which you can support others without draining your own energy.

 

 

The following are some guidelines for remaining balanced while helping others:

 

 

1.  Regenerate Yourself – It is crucial that you remain balanced and centered by accessing the flow of spiritual energy that is always available to you at all times.  You can do this by consistently engaging in any practices that you find to be regenerating, such as:  prayer, meditation, yoga, walking in nature, spending time with positive people, playing with children and your animal friends.

 

 

2.  Ask Your Friend/Family Member If They Want Your Help – So many times we waste our time and energy trying to change someone’s situation because it is something WE want for them, not something they want for themselves.  It is pretty tough to assist someone’s recovery if they are resisting us while we are doing it.  You may find that the person to whom you are offering assistance is not ready to receive your help.  The time may not be correct or perhaps the person is simply not willing to embrace the lesson(s) at hand.  How and when we each learn our life lessons is a personal choice.

 

 

3.  Honor The Lessons of Others –  We each create our own reality.  It is important to remember that, at some level, our friend/family member created the situation with which they are struggling and that they need to learn from the painful issues they are experiencing.  We each have to discover our own personal lessons that come through in the form of life’s challenges.  When we try to short-circuit this process for someone else, we are robbing them of an opportunity to learn something they need to know for their own spiritual growth.

 

 

4.  Stay Out of the Drama –  Learn to be an unconditional observer of someone else’s drama, rather than getting emotionally trapped by your own fears.  Staying neutral and non-judgmental allows you to see the situation from a much higher perspective, which places you in a position of strength to offer guidance, compassion, and clear insights, and constructive choices.

 

 

5.  Offer Tools That Empower Others – The most constructive way to help someone else is not to do for them, but to empower them to do for themselves.  You can offer choices that will inspire your friend to help themselves, such as:  doing research on doctors or healers who could be of support, suggesting specific books, being a non-judgmental listener (you don’t have to provide the answers), providing ongoing encouragement of their healing.

 

 

Most importantly, we need to remember that the most powerful support we can give to anyone is by the way we model our own choices and behaviors.  The healing of others is not done by us but through us.  When we tap into our universal spiritual source, we receive all the energy, love, guidance, and strength we need to help others.  In fact, helping people in this way is actually energizing–not just for them, but for ourselves as well.

 

 

Do you have any suggestions or questions regarding how you have coped with helping others?

 

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

10 Steps for Living a Sacred Life

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This is the image of the word love written three times with colorful finger-paints

©Yanush/shutterstock

 

 

Our true life purpose is to live a sacred life by consistently expressing our spiritual values in all that we think, say, and do. 

 

 

 

10 Steps for Living a Sacred Life

 

 

1.   Honor the divinity within yourself, everyone, and everything.

 

Everyone and everything was created in divine love. Accordingly, align your thoughts, words, and deeds with kindness, respect, and cooperation.

 

 

2.   Accept people as they are without trying to change them to conform to your expectations.

 

The only way we can change others is through our own positive example.

 

 

3.   Forgive yourself and others.

 

Be compassionate toward yourself and others – It takes a great deal of courage for any one of us to be here.

 

 

4.   Recognize that we all have the same spiritual purpose – to receive and express unconditional love. 

 

You will remember this in your own unique way and in your own time. So will everyone else.

 

 

5.   Understand that it is not in your greatest good to judge or criticize anyone.

 

Whatever you criticize about someone else is an aspect, to a greater or lesser degree, that you need to heal within yourself.

 

 

6.   See life as a process of growth.

 

There are no failures. Every situation you experience and every person you meet is an opportunity for growth and greater insight to universal truth and love.

 

 

7.   Develop an attitude of gratitude.

 

Being thankful for everything and everyone is the most effective way to create peace and prosperity in your life.

 

 

8.   Remember we are all a part of the whole of existence.  

 

What affects one of us affects all of us. Take responsibility for the fact that your thoughts, words, and actions, and even your underlying motivations, are constantly impacting the entire world.

 

 

9.   Respect everything in the environment.

 

The way we take care of the earth is the way it takes care of us.

 

 

10.  Forgive yourself whenever you forget any of the above.

 

 

 

Excerpt from “The Power of Oneness, Live The Life You Choose”

What We See in Others is a Reflection of Ourselves

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Cute image of an orange tabby kitten with a reflection of him in water

© Vaclav Volrab/shutterstock

 

You may have heard it before, but it is such a strong statement:  “We can only see things within others that we see within ourselves.”  I think this is one of the most challenging spiritual lessons we are here to learn.  When I first read this statement in a spiritual book many years ago, it seemed very odd to me.  Like most people, my first response was, “Surely, I do not act like a lot of people who annoy me and push my buttons.”   Interestingly, I find that when I facilitate spiritual classes, this statement typically elicits the same response from most others.

 

 

Everyone you meet is your mirror.  Why is that?

 

 

We come to understand ourselves best through our relationships with other people. We can only be triggered by something we have experienced ourselves. The traits we tend to dislike in others are usually the traits we do not like about ourselves.  We then tend to judge and criticize these characteristics.  This calls to mind the analogy of pointing a blaming finger at someone.  One finger is pointing at another person, and three are pointing back to ourselves.

 

 

When certain characteristics in someone’s personality trigger a negative reaction from you, there is something within you that is coming up because it is ready to be healed.  Usually, it represents issues from your past that have gone unresolved. An example of this would be constantly attracting people who betray you in close relationships because you have not dealt with a parental abandonment issue from your past. What you are seeing is a manifestation of your belief that you cannot trust anyone with your feelings. Here is another example:  You are someone who has a constant need to prove to others that you are “right.”  Chances are you will attract people who strongly disagree with you because they also have the need to convince others to see life from their perspective.  Also, if you dislike controlling people, most likely you dislike some bossy tendencies within yourself.

 

 

Every person we meet in life is showing up at the perfect time in our lives to reflect something we need to heal within ourselves. The people with whom you interact are showing you who you are and ultimately providing you with an opportunity to love yourself. Since our mission is to discover what we don’t love and learn to love it, the people who get on our nerves the most are among our greatest teachers.

 

 

When you find yourself triggered by a person or situation, ask yourself the following questions: 

 

 

 

    •    “What is this person teaching me that I need to learn to become more whole?” 

 

    •    “Do I behave like this now?”

 

    •    “Did I behave like this in the past?”

 

 

Believe it or not, forgiving YOURSELF is the most effective way to disengage from negative interactions with people.  We can only love and accept others to the degree that we love and accept ourselves.  When you make it a habit to learn from your relationships, eventually you will discover that you can observe negative traits within others without judgment and without getting hooked into someone else’s drama.  If you discover that you are in a relationship with someone who habitually abuses you in some way, it is sometimes healthy to limit your exposure to that person or to avoid their company completely.  This serves you well only after you have embraced the lessons that you have seen reflected to you through the relationship, followed by choosing to forgive yourself and the other person.

 

 

The good news is that the desirable behaviors we see in others is also a reflection of ourselves.  When we predominantly choose thoughts of love, we live in a reality of love.  In other words, as we focus on our light within, we bring out the light within others.

 

 

We came to this earth to return to the remembrance that we are ONE. Everyone we meet has come into our path to help us to remember this.

 

 

Do you find it challenging to believe that what you see in others is a reflection of you?  I welcome your thoughts.

 

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

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