Love and Light
Sandra
Love and Light
This question may sound silly – but think about it. These are the words we most long to hear from others, and yet we rarely say them to ourselves. If we don’t feel comfortable saying this to ourselves, how can we expect to be comfortable in accepting this message from others? What is even more interesting is that the majority of us have actually never said, “I love myself.”
I recently led a spiritual workshop where the topic was about our creative infinite potential as human beings. Through my extensive journey of personal healing, as well as many years of facilitating energy healing sessions and spiritual workshops, I have come to understand that the only way we can even begin to comprehend the vastness of our infinite potential is to start with the fundamental principle of self-love. For this reason, I suggested an exercise which involved pairing up. One person would say, “I love myself,” while the other one listened with complete attention, and then they reversed the roles of speaker and listener. Not only did I request that they repeat this mantra aloud to each other, I also suggested they affirm this statement about 25 times. At first, it was apparent that the suggestion to participate in this exercise seemed a little awkward for everyone. Because of our social conditioning, their initial feeling was that it would be much more easy to say “I love you” to someone else than it was to say “I love myself.”
Nevertheless, this open-minded, spiritually attuned group was willing to give it a try. It began as a cumbersome exercise of people dutifully reciting “I love myself” to each other. Because the words aligned with the truth of spirit, we could each feel that what began as a mind exercise quickly deepened into expressions of the heart as we continued to repeat this affirmation to each other. Within minutes, the room began to swell with echoes of “I love myself” coming from everywhere. What a beautiful sound! It became quite obvious to all of us that what had begun as an uncomfortable exercise had transformed into an experience of inspiration and truth.
Why does it feel so uncomfortable to affirm “I love myself?”
Most of us are taught from early on in our childhood years by parents, caregivers, teachers, culture, traditions, and religious teachings that it is selfish to love ourselves. We carry these childhood beliefs into adulthood without even realizing it. In order to spiritually evolve, it is essential to understand that “self-love” is not the same as “selfish.”
What is the difference between “self-love” and “selfish?”
Each one of us has been created by the energy of unconditional love. As we remember this truth, we come to recognize that our natural state of being is LOVE. When we choose to be loving and respectful of ourselves, our energy resonates with Universal Love and opens our hearts to a connection with our Higher Self. This empowers us to access limitless energy for inspiration and regeneration from the Universe. As a result, we have plenty of energy to express our love to others, resulting in generosity – not selfishness.
“Selfish,” on the other hand, is an emotion that centers predominantly on the needs and desires of self without consideration of others. Because it is self-centered, it focuses on ego and disconnects us from Creative Source. Selfish behavior blocks universal love from flowing to and through us. This results in looking to everyone else outside of ourselves to fulfill our needs and desires. Being around people who are acting selfish is typically a very draining experience.
Can simply affirming “I love myself”
really change how I feel about myself?
The simple answer is yes. Our feelings are the emotional barometer indicating whether our thoughts are aligned with our spiritual truth. When we think kind and loving thoughts about ourselves, we are aligned with the spiritual truth of oneness and love, and we feel inspired and uplifted. When we think unkind and judgmental thoughts about ourselves, we feel separated from our Creative Source and are bound to be living in fear. It takes practice to change old habits. Practice this affirmation with a supportive friend or relative. Another very effective way to affirm this new thought form is to stand before a mirror, look deeply into your own eyes, and say, “I love you.” Louise Hay, famed spiritual coach and author, suggests you do this until you are moved to the point of tears. It is then that you will know that you have embraced what you are saying to yourself with your heart.
Can I come to truly believe what I am saying?
Every belief we have is rooted in a repetitious thought pattern. Because we have the power to choose our thoughts, we can consciously transform our outgrown beliefs of separation by changing our self-talk and the messages we convey to ourselves at any time in our lives. Our thoughts create the beliefs that form the foundation for how we live our lives. Our beliefs determine the words we speak, our words result in our actions, and our actions manifest our physical reality.
While it may seem very strange to you at first, persevere with affirming that you love and accept yourself. To see yourself in the light of love is to embrace the truth of your True Self. Since what we project is what we attract, you will also attract other people who love you for who you are.
Be kind to yourself!
Love and Light
Now that Thanksgiving has just passed, most of us are feeling the accelerated pace of the world around us as we enter the official holiday season. It is very easy to become overwhelmed with shopping, visiting family and friends, preparing large family meals, attending special holiday performances, and traveling. This is the time of year where all the intense activity, in addition to the emotional highs and lows that accompany the holidays, can really take a toll on our health – mentally, emotionally, and physically.
In order to truly enjoy the holidays, it is essential to take time to regenerate yourself and to keep your energy balanced. The following are some ways to remain centered in the midst of all the hustle and bustle:
1. Stay in touch with your feelings – It is so easy to get carried away with all the outer stimulation that you can lose perspective on the signals you are getting from your mind and body. Periodically check in with your feelings and honor your needs. For example, if you feel tired, rest; if you feel overwhelmed, slow down the pace; if you feel sad, allow yourself to express your true feelings.
2. Determine what matters most to you – Quite often, we are so busy reacting to the demands of the holidays that we lose sight of what we most want to experience. Write down a list of the people whom you most want to see and the activities that you enjoy the most and make them a priority. You may discover that there are quite a few activities that had already been scheduled that you actually prefer not to have on your list.
3. Have reasonable expectations – The main reason that people become discouraged and disappointed with the holidays is that they have unrealistic expectations that are not met. Thinking that every member of your family is going to get along at the family reunion, that you are going to cook a perfect meal that pleases everyone, and that you are going to be on an emotional high throughout the holidays is bound to create disappointment.
4. Focus on the simple pleasures – The most fulfilling experiences frequently do not cost a lot of money. Taking a walk with a friend or relative, making cookies with children, playing games, reading by the fireside, and volunteering at a local charity are but a few of the experiences that nurture the heart with little or no demand on the pocketbook.
5. Express gratitude – Being thankful opens your heart and creates the opportunities to being in the flow and to savoring the positive within everyone and everything that you are experiencing, however it unfolds. Accept that every holiday is different and perfect in its own way.
6. Breathe, breathe, breathe – We all have a tendency to “hold our breath” when we are busy and under stress. Simply creating frequent times throughout the day to take some deep breaths is a great way to diffuse stress.
Most importantly, the true meaning of the holiday season is to remember our heart connection with others through the power of love. By being kind to yourself and honoring your own needs, you create a balanced foundation from which to share your love with others in a peaceful way.
We live in a physical world where there is a great emphasis on defining ourselves by title, power, money, and material possessions. This model of life is based on living from the outside in and centers around ego gratification, trying to control other people and outer circumstances, and material accumulation. If we are living from the outside in, we are likely to feel that we never have enough of anything and that no matter how successful we are, there is a sense of emptiness within our souls. It is not surprising that many of us have adopted this perception of life because it is based on the competitive, survival-oriented way of living which is the predominant model that has been demonstrated and taught to us by our parents, caregivers, and teachers.
As we expand in our spiritual evolution, most of us are seeking to realize a deeper purpose for our lives and are longing for a sense of inner peace. This requires that we reverse the center of our lives from the ego-based desires for outer approval and material gratification to centering our lives around our inner core values. In others words, we need to shift from living from the outside in to living from the inside out.
What Does Living From the Inside Out Mean?
Living from the inside out is a model of life which evolves from viewing the world from the Perspective of Oneness and is based on spiritual values and cooperating for the good of the whole. When you see the world from this vantage point, you remember that you are connected to the Source of Divine Love, as well as to everyone and everything. When you live from the inside-out, you are living in integrity, which is to say that you are integrating every aspect of your being – Soul, Mind, and Body – with the values of spiritual love.
Soul – Your soul is your connection to Spirit and becomes the center of your existence and the highest authority for how you choose to live your life. You access your spiritual wisdom by listening to your intuition and honoring your “gut level” feelings. Your self-worth is determined by your connection with Universal Love, not by how others perceive you.
Mind – You choose perceptions that are based on the qualities of Spirit: unconditional love, respect, cooperation; and you use your energy to create the quality of life you choose, rather than to fearfully react to others and your outer world of experience.
Body – Your body and material world align with your spiritual values and you create a physical reality that is in harmony with the values of your soul. Because you are reflecting your true self, you attract people and situations that resonate with your True Self.
Living in integrity from your spiritual core center incites motivation, passion, and inspiration because you are honoring your commitment to bring the gift of your Essential Self to the world. When you live from the inside out, you are living in harmony with the Oneness of Spirit, creating unity and harmony within your inner personal life, as well as the world all around you.
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs
Do you have any insights that you would like to share with us regarding how you have learned to live from the inside out?
For more information on Living From the Inside Out, order the book, “The Power of Oneness, Live The Life You Choose.”
The super typhoon, Haiyan, that roared through the Philippines last week is one of the most powerful storms recorded in history. At least 10,000 people have been killed and about 70 to 80 percent of everything in its path was swept away.
It seems everywhere we turn, people are worrying. Worrying is part of our human emotional makeup, and there are some conditions and situations where it can serve as a constructive emotion. Such as, motivating you to honor a commitment, meet a deadline, or avoid a dangerous situation.
Worry becomes extremely stressful and destructive when it gets to be a habit. You can recognize that worrying is becoming a habit when you find yourself approaching most of the situations in your life from a fearful perspective. Chronic worrying can drain your energy, cause constant anxiety, paralyze your ability to make decisions, keep you up late at night, and can even make you sick.
Why do we worry?
We worry because we are afraid, but afraid of what? Generally speaking our greatest fear is of the unknown. Usually, it isn’t the actual situations we experience that cause us to feel frightened nearly so much as our fearful anticipation of worse-case scenarios.
Interestingly, if you have adopted worrying as your usual approach to life, not only will you fearfully anticipate negative outcomes – you will also stress about potential positive outcomes. The things we worry about are only limited by our imagination: Fear of the lack of money, and fear of the responsibility that comes with financial success; fear of not being loved, and fear of the vulnerability of loving another; fear of losing a job and fear of staying stuck in a job, and the list goes on and on. You may even convince yourself that worrying is a good thing and that it helps you to solve problems and to prepare for the worst. The problem with this theory is that whatever we focus on creates our reality; thus the saying, Worrying is praying for what you don’t want. Recognizing this helps you to be aware that worrying is the problem, not the solution.
Worrying is a habit that can be healed.
You can train your brain to manage stress in a more healthy way. The following are some questions to ask yourself when you find your energy sinking into dreadful anticipation:
What am I thinking right now? Awareness is the beginning of all healing. You are likely to be surprised at how many times you catch yourself focusing on negative outcomes.
What words am I using to communicate? When you are listening to your own words, do you feel inspired by what you are saying, or do the words you are speaking make you want to crawl under the covers?
Am I in present time? If you are a chronic worrier, you are spending most of your energy focusing on the future. When you realize this, simply affirm, “I choose to be in present time.”
What am I worried about? Sometimes actually making a list of things you are worried about helps to clear your mind so that you do not keep recycling different versions of the same issues.
You may even want to schedule a brief period of time every day to give attention to the things you have on your list of concerns. Embrace your feelings, and give yourself permission to worry about anything you want during this period of time. The important thing is to give this worry period a specific time frame – the rest of the day is in the worry-free zone.
Is this a problem that I can solve? You will most likely discover that many of the things you are worried about are not in your control because they are someone else’s lessons, and not something you can “fix.” On the other hand, if there IS something you can do, be sure to get the problem out of your head and take action on your own ideas.
Can I change my perspective? If you cannot actually solve the problem, you can always change your perception of the issue. In other words, if you have done all you know to do, it is very emotionally healthy to accept what you cannot change. Connecting with a higher spiritual power through prayer and meditation is the most powerful way to let go of our attachment as to how our ego wants something to be solved.
Asking yourself the above questions is a process that takes patience and practice. Be gentle with yourself. In time, you will most likely discover that this exercise will transform your worry habit into a much more loving and effective way to help yourself and others.
Love and Light,
Are you are feeling anxious about the future? Does time seem to be moving forward at lightening speed? Is it getting increasingly difficult to hold onto the familiar? If you have answered, “yes” to any of these questions, you have a lot of company.
What is going on?
On a logical level, we can say that the acceleration of time and change is due to the fact that technology has permeated every aspect of our lives. It feels like what we accomplished within an hour last year is presently compressed into a minute. So, indeed, time really does appear to be moving more quickly! Yet, there is something much larger going on that transcends our linear physical world. Most of us are sensing a massive shift that is connected with the infinitely larger metaphysical world of spirituality. We are all in a stage of our human spiritual growth where we are compelled to awaken to beliefs and perceptions that we have been holding on to that no longer serve us well. Try as we might, it feels like we just cannot hold onto to the status quo anymore. The more we progress on our journey of personal growth, the more we will be confronted with opportunities to get out of our comfort zone.
What is meant by “comfort zone?”
Your comfort zone is the area of your life where your current life skills allow you to navigate with relative ease. For example, socializing with familiar people, maintaining a daily routine of activities, and adhering to a schedule of regular events.
Why do we resist?
Most of us like to feel comfortable and have a human tendency to try to avoid putting ourselves into new and challenging situations. The problem with this is that we don’t grow. If you are not moving forward, you will eventually become stuck. Even though you may feel a little insecure about moving out of familiar spaces, it is really quite healthy to experience the discomfort that comes from growth. Discomfort is caused by bumping against the boundaries of our outgrown paradigms, indicating that it is time for our mind’s knowledge to catch up with our soul’s wisdom. When we feel painfully uncomfortable, it is usually not because we are experiencing change, but because we are resisting it.
Being on the edge of your comfort zone is really a healthy thing because it means that the Universe is inviting you to open up to new possibilities. While you may be facing the need to make some major changes, it does not have to be frightening.
The following are some practical suggestions for easing out of your comfort zone:
1. Change something in your daily routine – This could be something as simple as primarily using your non-dominant hand for the day or changing the route you typically take to drive to work or school.
2. Take a class in something that is unusual – If you are a predominant left-brain thinker, take a class in painting or dancing. If you are predominantly a right-brain thinker, you may consider a class to develop your computer skills.
3. Socialize with new people – Be open to bringing new people into your circle of friends. They are likely to bring fresh perspectives into your life and see you in a new light.
4. Commit to doing something you have avoided – Many times we procrastinate doing something new because we are judging ourselves too harshly. If you have avoided taking that exercise class, make it a priority. If you have always wanted to speak in front of a group of people, find a small group that coincides with your interests and make a presentation.
5. Break down a large goal into manageable steps – What appears to be an impossible goal can become much more motivating when we bring it down into a list of actionable tasks.
6. Travel to new places – Being open to new sights and cultures is a wonderful way to broaden our perspectives. If traveling is beyond your budget, try taking a tour of where you presently live through the eyes of a visitor. It is amazing how we become immune to all the opportunities that exist within the areas in which we live.
Take a deep breath and begin to practice the habit of accepting the fact that change is a wonderful part of being alive! Being on the edge of your comfort zone indicates that you are becoming more of who you are and that you are on the brink of experiencing a larger version of life. Many times the most difficult times come right before you are about to make a major break through.
Chuck Yeager, the first test pilot ever to fly faster than the speed of sound, expressed this so simply when responding to a journalist who asked him to explain his amazing experience. He responded:
“Just before you break the sound barrier, the cockpit shakes the most!”
Are you on the edge of your comfort zone? I welcome your insights!
Love and Light,
While it may not be our favorite part of life, at some time or another every one of us experiences mental, emotional, and physical pain and disease. Perhaps the most obvious benefit to feeling pain is that it certainly gets our attention. Pain is like the indicator lights and alarms in our cars indicating something is amiss. Chances are that we ignored some rather obvious clues before the panic lights came on, such as getting gas, changing the oil, or recharging the battery.
The same is true in our personal lives. Many times we experience mental, emotional, and physical pain only after we have ignored many warning signs. How often do we abuse ourselves by not paying attention to the many subtle messages that come in whispers–messages to trust our intuition, slow down our work pace, exercise more, eat more nutritiously, spend more time with our families, or forgive someone? If we continue to ignore the “whisper messages,” the symptoms escalate until we are forced to pay attention due to a major mental, emotional, or physical crisis.
Like the indicator lights, pain is not a permanent condition in and of itself. Pain is a symptom telling us that we are sensing something in our lives that requires healing. In other words, we are literally feeling dis-ease with the misalignment of our physical reality with our spiritual truth of unconditional love.
Because we cannot separate the body and mind
from our soul connection to Spirit,
pain registers physically, emotionally, and mentally.
The obvious place we sense pain is in our bodies because our bodies physically indicate the ease and dis-ease within our lives in a very apparent way. Although we have a tendency to dismiss bodily pain and illness as “just physical,” in truth, our bodies are the visible physical signals indicating deeper, underlying emotional issues calling out to be healed. Many times the physical symptoms we see and experience correlate with the emotional issues we need to resolve. For example, we may say that someone in our lives is a “pain in the neck,” and sure enough, we physically experience pain in the neck. We may be experiencing an emotional break-up with a loved one and physically feel pain in the heart . A long-term, serious illness is many times a very large symptom of a spiritual issue that requires our full attention and is ready to be healed. It is like the Universe is shouting out to us to pay attention to something. For example, an auto-immune disease is a disease in which the body attacks itself–a symptom that calls our attention to the need to unconditionally love our physical bodies. For some of us, pain registers more obviously in the form of mental imbalance and illness. While there are a myriad of medical diagnoses to describe mental illness, the bottom line is that mental illness, physical illness, and emotional pain are all indications that our soul is not feeling aligned with how we are experiencing our physical world.
We can struggle with pain or we can move to a deeper level of healing by listening to the messages that it brings:
Many times our greatest growth periods come through the experience of pain. Those of us who have experienced a dark time in life through serious illness or emotional trauma know the opportunity it brings for enormous wisdom and insight. Sometimes we have to experience the contrast of darkness in order to find the light. Indeed, there are lessons within our lives that may be much more apparent in the darkness of our despair because we focus more intensely when there are fewer things to see. It is like walking into a dark room–at first we can see nothing, yet after our eyes have had a chance to refocus, we begin to see particular items in the room even though the room is still dark. Likewise, we can have some very profound insights about areas of our life that need improvement when we are slowed down by injuries from an accident or while we are quietly lying in bed recovering from an illness, away from our hectic daily routines.
Painful experiences also remind us how to be compassionate and non-judgmental toward others. We can theorize about what it might feel like to have a serious sickness, deal with a drug addiction, go through a divorce, watch a friend or relative experience an anguishing death, lose a job, or have serious money problems; but it is the actual experience of living through these types of painful times that opens our hearts to express tenderness and total compassion to others who are wrestling with their own challenges in life.
Pain helps us to appreciate the pleasures in life. It is through the contrast of pain that we also come to appreciate the pleasures of life. I understand, first hand, that serious illness and long-term physical, mental, and emotional pain can be extremely overwhelming and very distracting. All the more reason that it is crucial to our overall well-being to adopt a frame of mind in which we are committed to learn from our experiences rather than allow the pain to control our lives. Although pain is not pleasant, it is a temporary experience that is part of our human spiritual growth and evolution. Like the caterpillar emerging from the cocoon, it is uncomfortable but ultimately a part of the process of humanity’s transformation from a world of separation to a world of Oneness.
“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy.”
– Kahlil Gibran
Love and Light,
Sandra
I welcome your sharing experiences with how you are dealing with or have overcome painful experiences.
If you are struggling with loneliness, you are not alone.
Every person experiences feelings of isolation from time to time.
Being alone and being lonely are not the same thing. It is very healthy for each of us to create some “alone time” every day, away from the external commotion and daily demands of family and work. Alone time, in this sense, feels good because we are honoring our need to nurture and regenerate ourselves through our mind/body connection with Spirit and to feel the peace that lies within the silence.
Feeling lonely, on the other hand, generally does not feel pleasant. It is accompanied by a sense of sadness and disconnection from other people and life in general. Being around a lot of people is not necessarily an antidote to loneliness. In fact, loneliness can feel even more intense when we are in a crowd of people or in an unhappy personal relationship. Ironically, even in our present world of technology where millions of people can connect 24/7 via email, Facebook, and Twitter, we can still find ourselves feeling intensely lonely. How can this be?
In order to understand why we are lonely, it is important
to become aware of what is causing it.
Sometimes people choose to be loners because of childhood developmental factors:
Even without these factors, some people feel innately disconnected and simply never learn to communicate well or have a low self-esteem and avoid socializing for fear of being rejected.
There are also many situational factors in life that can cause us to feel alone:
Understanding the many factors that cause loneliness helps us to understand why all of us, at one time or another, feel like we are all by ourselves in a sea of humanity. While any one and all of these situations and conditions are compelling reasons for feeling lonely, they are merely symptomatic of a much deeper loneliness that is being felt at a soul level by humanity at large. We are longing, at a core level, to connect with something infinitely larger than ourselves and return to the Oneness of Spirit.
The only way we can ultimately fill the void within our hearts
is through the energy of unconditional love.
So how can we heal our loneliness?
Pray and Meditate – Commit yourself to create at least 20 minutes of silence every day to pray and meditate. This is essential in order to remember that, no matter what you are experiencing, you are unconditionally connected with Universal Love.
Be compassionate and kind to yourself – Let go of the self-judgment and allow yourself to just BE. Every person on earth has “their story” of the infinite ways in which they are being challenged. Life is not a pass/fail contest – it’s all about becoming whole.
Change what you can change – Be your own best friend and ask yourself what you most need to feel less lonely. Would it help you to schedule more social time with friends? Join a special interest organization? Attend church? Join a spiritual community? Go to the health club? Volunteer with a local charity? Spend more time in nature? Get an animal companion? Whatever it is, be conscious of ways that you can best help yourself to enjoy life more and then act on it.
Accept what you cannot change – While it is true that we don’t get to pick all the circumstances that challenge us in life, we can always choose the attitude with which we experience this spiritual journey. Cultivating an attitude of focusing on the lesson rather than the problem will help you to maintain a positive attitude that will attract other people who have optimistic outlooks.
Most importantly, remember that you are NEVER ALONE. We are all brothers and sisters walking this earth together, and we all have the same mission – to integrate our minds and bodies with the love of Spirit. Each of us is doing the best we know to do for now – in our own time – and in our own way.
Love and Light,
Sandra