What is the Difference Between Conditional Love and Unconditional Love?

This is an image of a heart shaped cloud in the sky

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Love – This is a word that is very frequently used in every language to describe our emotions ranging from something as relatively trite, such as, “I love your shoes,” to something as deeply significant as a mother saying, “I love you” to a child in the most vulnerable moment.

 

 

Is there really a difference between conditional love and unconditional love? 

 

 

The answer is, yes.

 

 

What is conditional love?

 

 

Conditional love is a polarized emotion, meaning that it has an opposite emotion.  The opposite extreme of love is hatred.  Conditional love comes from ego and  generally focuses on someone (like a romantic partner, child, parent, friend)  or some thing (like a house, a car, or a job).  When we love someone conditionally, we tend to want them to look, act, and think in ways that fit our own paradigms and expectations.  We hold others accountable to our expectations in order to qualify for our affection.  If they act the way we want them to, we express our approval; if they act contrary to our wishes, we withhold our expression of acceptance of them, usually in some form of anger.  Conditional love polarizes our internal thought process to believe, “I am right, and you are wrong, so I think you should see things my way.”  As soon as begin to judge someone as being right or wrong, it is our cue that we are not in a space of unconditional love because we are perceiving that we are the authority for someone else’s life.  This ultimately results in a power play for everyone involved because it focuses on control, which typically elicits a defensive reaction from the people whom we are trying to change.

 

 

Another version of conditional love is passion, a term we use for the sexual feelings we have when we meet someone with whom we have “chemistry.”  The term “falling in love” is a revealing expression indicating that we sometimes lose ourselves when we are involved in a passionate romantic relationship based on conditional love. Possibly, this is because we are looking for another person to complete us rather than looking to share our whole self with another. “Looking for our other half” is a statement that strongly indicates we are seeking to make ourselves whole through someone else, rather than working on ourselves to become more of who we truly are.

 

 

When someone acts in a way that vastly deviates from our expectations or does something to hurt us or someone we care about, we can transform the emotion of conditional love to the complete opposite end of the spectrum – hatred.  Hatred is a very strong emotion that is rooted in fear.  Hatred is extremely destructive and wreaks havoc on our mental, emotional, and physical well being.

 

 

What is Unconditional Love?

 

 

Unconditional love is neutral and has no opposite polarity.  The source of unconditional love is Spirit; therefore it is available to everyone without discernment, and there is absolutely nothing we need to do to qualify for it.  Unconditional love comes through to us at a soul level, beginning at the level of self-acceptance and self-forgiveness, and radiates divine light to everyone and everything.  When we make a conscious decision to choose thoughts based on unconditional love, it does not mean that we agree with everyone and everything.  It means that we consciously commit ourselves to expressing respect, kindness, and cooperation to everyone and everything in our environment.

 

 

Unconditional love is not something that happens to us or outside of us.  It is the life force of energy within our very being and is ingrained in every cell of our bodies.  We don’t have to search for love–we ARE, each one of us, the physical embodiment of unconditional love.  Because unconditional love is life energy, it is formless, infinite, constantly in motion, and unconditionally available to us 24/7!

 

 

Unconditional love has a positive effect on our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual state of being, creating truth, joy, beauty, health, harmony, and everything in the world that is in our greatest good.  The benevolent, compassionate nature of universal love flows through us and blesses everyone and everything it touches.

 

 

When we open our hearts to receiving and expressing the love of the universe, we feel expansive and radiant.  We automatically rise above the limitations of fear because unconditional love is infinitely more powerful than fear; in fact, unconditional love is the most powerful force in existence.  There is no amount of darkness that can blot out light; yet the tiniest amount of light can overcome darkness. This means that no matter how dark and chaotic our lives may seem at times, we can find comfort in knowing that our earthly world is always held within an infinitely larger context of universal love and light.

 

 

Remembering that we are each created in the energy of divine love gives us great inspiration and renewed hope that we each have the power to bring our own unique expression of unconditional love to the world, which brings healing to everyone and everything we touch.

 

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

 

10 thoughts on “What is the Difference Between Conditional Love and Unconditional Love?

  1. I am in a conditional love relationship, I have today 20-3-2015, only realised this, its feels like after reading your explanation of conditional and unconditional love, that a light has suddenly been switched on in my head and I actually feel sick as to how stupid I have been.My partner of 7 yrs, after a year of not having sexual contact ,with me,explanations for this were that we were now too old for that stuff, that I was fat, that he was not inlove with me, had sex with me last night,announced to me that we had sex because I behaved over the last 2 days exactly as he wants me to behave, everyday. That been that I don,t question him as to where he goes , that I don,t mention to him why he is so friendly or flirting with other women,etc etc that sex might be more coming, as he feels happy now that I kept my mouth shut on his activaties. .It feels like I have just been giving a treat for being a good girl. This been a man that had an affair, while in a relationship with me.

  2. Thanks for sharing this awesome article. While reading, it gave me a real sense of unconditional love and so purely described. Hoping more stuff like this. Love it 🙂

  3. Thanks so much on the true definition of conditional and unconditional Love. A lot of people really don’t know the difference between the two and don’t realize which one their are…

  4. Wow, this completely explains my life these days. I’ve been looking after my 86 yr old mother for nine years, given up my life for her and she has finally completely turned on me! Now I’ve had two cancer surgeries in the last yr and may be looking at another one soon. This arrangement has been like a bad,one sided marriage where one partner is not allowed feelings, thoughts, emotions, ideas or opinions on anything.
    I’m really at the bottom these days. I am 64 now and feel like I’ve given up the last nine years for nothing……..I get no credit. This definition of conditional love has helped me understand what has happened. Thank you for defining conditional love for me.

  5. 1st, I wish, to thank you for your post on (The Difference between Unconditional & Conditional Love.) 2nd, after reading the Difference… It may have come a little to late to Save myself a lot of pain… Let me explain why! (After, dedicating & spending 11 Years of Honorable Service in the Military & another 15 Years serving as a Successful Family Genealogist.) I’ve been in a Fight for my Life! just asking for the same basic Rights as Others take for granted. Plus, it’s very Clear to me now… My own personal family, only has Conditional Love for me. (Which, I don’t need) Problems, are so great! Seems, i’ve been disowned & during a recent ‘Stress Test’ a (Atrial Fibrillation) was detected. So soon, I may be Facing some Serious conversations with a Heart Surgeon. (all this & (I) never-ever abused Drugs, Alcohol or anything else that Contributed to this. It’s all Stress & guess never taught to Protect myself. From Self-Serving people who Prey on Others like today culture.

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