Love – This is a word that is very frequently used in every language to describe our emotions ranging from something as relatively trite, such as, “I love your shoes,” to something as deeply significant as a mother saying, “I love you” to a child in the most vulnerable moment.
Is there really a difference between conditional love and unconditional love?
The answer is, yes.
What is conditional love?
Conditional love is a polarized emotion, meaning that it has an opposite emotion. The opposite extreme of love is hatred. Conditional love comes from ego and generally focuses on someone (like a romantic partner, child, parent, friend) or some thing (like a house, a car, or a job). When we love someone conditionally, we tend to want them to look, act, and think in ways that fit our own paradigms and expectations. We hold others accountable to our expectations in order to qualify for our affection. If they act the way we want them to, we express our approval; if they act contrary to our wishes, we withhold our expression of acceptance of them, usually in some form of anger. Conditional love polarizes our internal thought process to believe, “I am right, and you are wrong, so I think you should see things my way.” As soon as begin to judge someone as being right or wrong, it is our cue that we are not in a space of unconditional love because we are perceiving that we are the authority for someone else’s life. This ultimately results in a power play for everyone involved because it focuses on control, which typically elicits a defensive reaction from the people whom we are trying to change.
Another version of conditional love is passion, a term we use for the sexual feelings we have when we meet someone with whom we have “chemistry.” The term “falling in love” is a revealing expression indicating that we sometimes lose ourselves when we are involved in a passionate romantic relationship based on conditional love. Possibly, this is because we are looking for another person to complete us rather than looking to share our whole self with another. “Looking for our other half” is a statement that strongly indicates we are seeking to make ourselves whole through someone else, rather than working on ourselves to become more of who we truly are.
When someone acts in a way that vastly deviates from our expectations or does something to hurt us or someone we care about, we can transform the emotion of conditional love to the complete opposite end of the spectrum – hatred. Hatred is a very strong emotion that is rooted in fear. Hatred is extremely destructive and wreaks havoc on our mental, emotional, and physical well being.
What is Unconditional Love?
Unconditional love is neutral and has no opposite polarity. The source of unconditional love is Spirit; therefore it is available to everyone without discernment, and there is absolutely nothing we need to do to qualify for it. Unconditional love comes through to us at a soul level, beginning at the level of self-acceptance and self-forgiveness, and radiates divine light to everyone and everything. When we make a conscious decision to choose thoughts based on unconditional love, it does not mean that we agree with everyone and everything. It means that we consciously commit ourselves to expressing respect, kindness, and cooperation to everyone and everything in our environment.
Unconditional love is not something that happens to us or outside of us. It is the life force of energy within our very being and is ingrained in every cell of our bodies. We don’t have to search for love–we ARE, each one of us, the physical embodiment of unconditional love. Because unconditional love is life energy, it is formless, infinite, constantly in motion, and unconditionally available to us 24/7!
Unconditional love has a positive effect on our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual state of being, creating truth, joy, beauty, health, harmony, and everything in the world that is in our greatest good. The benevolent, compassionate nature of universal love flows through us and blesses everyone and everything it touches.
When we open our hearts to receiving and expressing the love of the universe, we feel expansive and radiant. We automatically rise above the limitations of fear because unconditional love is infinitely more powerful than fear; in fact, unconditional love is the most powerful force in existence. There is no amount of darkness that can blot out light; yet the tiniest amount of light can overcome darkness. This means that no matter how dark and chaotic our lives may seem at times, we can find comfort in knowing that our earthly world is always held within an infinitely larger context of universal love and light.
Remembering that we are each created in the energy of divine love gives us great inspiration and renewed hope that we each have the power to bring our own unique expression of unconditional love to the world, which brings healing to everyone and everything we touch.
Love and Light,