How Can We Overcome Loneliness?

This is a black and white photograph of a little boy alone on a swing in the park

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If you are struggling with loneliness, you are not alone.

Every person experiences feelings of isolation from time to time.

 

 

Being alone and being lonely are not the same thing.  It is very healthy for each of us to create some “alone time” every day, away from the external commotion and daily demands of family and work.  Alone time, in this sense, feels good because we are honoring our need to nurture and regenerate ourselves through our mind/body connection with Spirit and to feel the peace that lies within the silence.

 

 

Feeling lonely, on the other hand, generally does not feel pleasant.  It is accompanied by a sense of sadness and disconnection from other people and life in general.  Being around a lot of people is not necessarily an antidote to loneliness.  In fact, loneliness can feel even more intense when we are in a crowd of people or in an unhappy personal relationship.  Ironically, even in our present world of technology  where millions of people can connect 24/7 via email, Facebook, and Twitter, we can still find ourselves feeling intensely lonely.  How can this be?

 

In order to understand why we are lonely, it is important

to become aware of what is causing it. 

 

 

Sometimes people choose to be loners because of childhood developmental factors:

 

    • If one has been abandoned by one or both parents, there is a strong tendency to be reluctant to commit to intimate relationships.

 

    • Being raised by critical or unaffectionate parents may cause a person to be emotionally withdrawn.

 

    • If one has been raised in a family environment of substance abuse, there is a likely tendency to become distrustful of others.

 

Even without these factors, some people feel innately disconnected and simply never learn to communicate well or have a low self-esteem and avoid socializing for fear of being rejected.

 

There are also many situational factors in life that can cause us to feel alone:

 

    • It could be that you are experiencing the deep, irreplaceable loss that comes with the death of a loved one.

 

    • Suffering from a disability or long-term disease can cause one to feel that no one else could possibly understand how much courage and endurance  it takes to just survive on a daily basis.

 

    • You may be experiencing the huge void that frequently comes with divorce, or you may be feeling alone in your exhaustive, seemingly never-ending search to find the ideal partner.

 

    • It can also feel very isolating to change jobs or to relocate to a new area, perhaps causing you to leave family and familiar friends and co-workers.

 

    • A financial set-back may leave you feeling that you are alone in a world with fewer choices than you once had.  Maybe some social setbacks have caused you to believe that no one else would be interested in your company.

 

Understanding the many factors that cause loneliness helps us to understand why all of us, at one time or another, feel like we are all by ourselves in a sea of humanity.  While any one and all of these situations and conditions are compelling reasons for feeling lonely, they are merely symptomatic of a much deeper loneliness that is being felt at a soul level by humanity at large.  We are longing, at a core level, to connect with something infinitely larger than ourselves and return to the Oneness of Spirit.

 

 The only way we can ultimately fill the void within our hearts

is through the energy of unconditional love.

 

 

So how can we heal our loneliness?

 

Pray and Meditate – Commit yourself to create at least 20 minutes of silence every day to pray and meditate.  This is essential in order to remember that, no matter what you are experiencing, you are unconditionally connected with Universal Love.       

 

Be compassionate and kind to yourself –  Let go of the self-judgment and allow yourself to just BE.  Every person on earth has “their story” of the infinite ways in which they are being challenged.  Life is not a pass/fail contest – it’s all about becoming whole.

 

Change what you can change – Be your own best friend and ask yourself what you most need to feel less lonely.  Would it help you to schedule more social time with friends?  Join a special interest organization?  Attend church?  Join a spiritual community?  Go to the health club?  Volunteer with a local charity?  Spend more time in nature?  Get an animal companion?  Whatever it is, be conscious of ways that you can best help yourself to enjoy life more and then act on it.

 

Accept what you cannot change –   While it is true that we don’t get to pick all the circumstances that challenge us in life, we can always choose the attitude with which we experience this spiritual journey.  Cultivating an attitude of focusing on the lesson rather than the problem will help you to maintain a positive attitude that will attract other people who have optimistic outlooks.

 

 

Most importantly, remember that you are NEVER ALONE.  We are all brothers and sisters walking this earth together, and we all have the same mission – to integrate our minds and bodies with the love of Spirit. Each of us is doing the best we know to do for now – in our own time – and in our own way.

 

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

 

Cultivating an Attitude of Gratitude

This is an image of a woman opening her arms to the horizon along the oceanfront

© Dudarev Mikhail/shutterstock

 

 

One of the most wonderful ways we can create peace and abundance in our lives is to focus our attention on gratitude.  Gratitude is a word that we most typically associate with thankfulness.  When we think of thankfulness, many of us focus on the relationships, conditions, and things in our life that we like and enjoy.  Being thankful is a very healthy emotion that helps us to reinforce a positive attitude and maintain balance in life.

 

 

But what about all of the things that go on in our lives that we do not enjoy, like: getting sick, losing our jobs, the death of a loved one, the break-up of a close relationship, being injured in a car accident, making a bad investment, or experiencing violence?  Are we supposed to be thankful for all of these experiences too, or just the “good stuff?”

 

 

This is where the infinitely greater meaning of gratitude comes in.  When we are only thankful for things we like, gratitude is an emotion that is contingent on our situation, therefore it is a conditional emotion.  When things are going well, we are thankful; when life gets tough, we wait until a time when things feel more optimistic before we express thanks again.  The problem with this is that no human being is going to spend life here on earth with only positive experiences. So, if we perceive gratitude in a conditional way, we are quite likely going to have long and frequent periods of time during which we do not feel thankful.

 

 

In the spiritual sense, gratitude is an ongoing attitude in which we choose to be unconditionally appreciative for all that is.  When we think about this, we realize this is a huge concept.  This would mean that we choose to see the blessings in every experience we have, every moment of every day. There is so much pain and suffering in our third dimensional world, as well as a plethora of amazingly challenging, downright unpleasant experiences, so how is it humanly possible to maintain an “attitude of gratitude?”

 

 

Developing an attitude of gratitude begins by choosing to remember that absolutely everything we experience and everyone whom we meet is happening for a reason. Even though many times we do not understand things that occur in our lives, every experience we have is offering us the opportunity to become more whole.  No matter what is going on, we focus on the perfection within what appears to be a lot of imperfection.  Through our thoughts, we call into our life the people and situations that teach us what we most need to know when we most need to learn it. This occurs in both positive and negative ways, depending on how we learn best. For example, if one of our large life lessons is that need to stop giving our power away to others, we will most likely attract controlling personalities into our reality until we figure out how to love ourselves enough to take control of our own life.

 

 

When we function in a state of gratitude, we begin to appreciate everything.  We are not born feeling grateful – it is a frame of mind that needs to be cultivated through practice. We become thankful for the penny we just found on the sidewalk, the parking spot that just opened up at the perfect moment, the smile of a passing stranger, the roof over our heads, and the food we eat.  We begin to see the magnificent wonder of life within everyone and everything.  We are thankful for something as seemingly small as the petal on a flower to the magnitude of the miracle of witnessing a child being born.  We are thankful for a sunny day and equally appreciative for a rainy day.  We express thanks for the unhappy experiences from which we grow, just as much as the happy ones.

 

 

When we practice being thankful for all things great and small, we are aligning our thoughts with the frequency of unconditional love; thus, we open ourselves to welcoming abundance at every level – mentally, emotionally, and physically.  While some days may be a lot more enjoyable than others, practicing an attitude of gratitude is a perfect way to savor every moment of life.

 

 

Love and Light,

 

Sandra

 

Sandra Brossman is the author of The Power of Oneness, Live the Life You Choose.  To learn more about how you can align your life with spiritual truth, order the book at http://www.thepowerofoneness.com/products/