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Self-Evaluation of Seven Basic Beliefs Underlying Your Perceptions of Life – Part 5 of 7: Commitment to Be Your True Self

Posted on April 23, 2014 by Sandra Brossman

This is the image of clouds in the sky with the words "Yes You Can" written in cloud font.

Welcome to Part 5 of a 7 part series in which you are invited to become aware of the Basic Beliefs Underlying Your Perceptions of Life! Even more importantly, you are offered the opportunity to transform your self-limiting beliefs of separation and fear into self-empowering beliefs of oneness and unconditional love.

Our basic beliefs are the fundamental concepts we have formed about ourselves and the world around us, based on the mental input we have received throughout our lives. They are the underlying thought forms deep within our psyche that support all our views of life. Our basic beliefs have profound impact on the quality of our lives because they are the core of our personal values governing absolutely every perception we choose.

Many of our basic beliefs generate self-limiting thoughts because they are framed within our childhood perspectives, rooted in societal training, and do not reflect our whole self.

This week I invite you to become aware of your beliefs about your COMMITMENT TO BE YOUR TRUE SELF.

“Commitment” is making a conscious choice to genuinely step into life by fully expressing your authentic self. This sounds incredibly simple – “so all I have to do is just be who I am?” The answer is a resounding “YES!” So why do we spend so much time and effort side stepping, withholding, and even avoiding openly contributing our unique gifts and talents with the world? Most likely, it is because we are going in circles with perceptions that are filled with self-judgment. This results in an endless list of paralyzing rationalizations: Perhaps we are saying that we are not good enough, not smart enough, not wealthy enough, not healthy enough, not young enough, and/or not attractive enough to come out into the light and be seen for the unique person we were born to be.

The bottom line is that when we do this, we are making an unconscious decision to wait until we are perfect before we pursue our passions and dreams of what we really want to do with our lives. Demanding that we be perfect is a form of self-attack in which we focus on our flaws. Withholding the expression of our true self is a behavior which causes us pain at every level because we are constantly in a state of contraction.

When we shift our perceptions to focus on our strengths, gifts, talents, and passions, we are focusing on our light within. We can then use our energy to express more of who we ARE, rather than who we ARE NOT. This perspective creates a state of expansion because we are freeing ourselves to live from the core of our inner spiritual truth. When our thoughts, words, and actions are based on our spiritual values, we then begin to attract people, opportunities, and resources that support our mission to share our genuine self with the world.

The following is a Self-Evaluation of Your Beliefs About Your Commitment to be Your True Self. As you scan through the questions, simply ask yourself, “Do I relate to the statements of Separation, or do I relate to the statements of Oneness? The perceptions of separation correspond with fear and lock us into self-defeating behaviors, while the perceptions of oneness resonate with our spiritual truth of unconditional universal love and open us to our greater potential.

It is best to trust your immediate, spontaneous responses to these questions. When we analyze ourselves and deliberate over the answers, we run the risk of falling into the trap of self-judgment rather than pure awareness.

Remember, this evaluation is not an exercise in self-criticism, nor does it involve judgment of others. It is merely a tool to shed the light of self-awareness on the foundation of beliefs upon which we base our view points of life.

BASIC BELIEF #5 – COMMITMENT TO BE YOUR TRUE SELF

Am I committed to sharing the gift of who I am with the world by expressing my true self and my unique talents?

Separation: Holding back on one’s creative potential and true expression of feelings; being emotionally armored; being a perfectionist; judging self harshly.

Oneness: Having the courage to express one’s unique and authentic self; being open and honest; being willing to enthusiastically share the gift of one’s self with the world.

Which statements do I most relate to – Separation or Oneness?

Where does this belief originate? (i.e. parents, family culture, religion)

Is this my own personal truth now that I am an adult?

DO I CHOOSE TO CHANGE THIS BELIEF?

The following are affirmations to transform your perceptions of separation and fear into affirmations of oneness and unconditional love:

Feeling of Separation: I don’t even know who I am.

Affirmation of Oneness: I am an expression of universal light and love.

Feeling of Separation: I don’t know how to express myself.

Affirmation of Oneness: I am spiritually guided to express my true self.

Feeling of Separation: I am afraid to express my real feelings.

Affirmation of Oneness: I am willing to express my genuine self.

Feeling of Separation: My creativity is blocked.

Affirmation of Oneness: I am an open channel for receiving and expressing my divine creative energy.

Feeling of Separation: I am afraid I will fail.

Affirmation of Oneness: I am completely supported by the universe when I express my truth.

Remember: Every single belief that you have stored into your brain is the result of constant repetition that has come from yourself – as well as from others. YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR BELIEFS THROUGH THE PROCESS OF AFFIRMATIONS. It does not matter whether you initially believe your affirmations. Affirmations are a mental stretch moving toward spiritual truth. With enough repetition, you will come to believe your Affirmations of Oneness.

Affirmations help us to develop the habit of consistent, positive self-dialogue. By making a commitment to the ongoing practice of repeating affirmations of self-love, you have the power to transform your self-deprecating beliefs about yourself into self-respecting perceptions that reflect the truth of your Oneness with Spirit and universal love.

Simply stated, making a commitment to express your Genuine Self is your mission in life. No one else in the world has your unique personality, physical structure, brain function, gifts, and talents. Each one of us is a vital piece in the puzzle of the wholeness of humanity. What could be more important?

I welcome any questions or insights you would like to share regarding your self-discovery process as you become conscious of your beliefs about your commitment to being your true self.

Love and Light

Sandra

A portion of this message is an excerpt from the book, The Power of Oneness, Live the Life You Choose. To learn more about how you can align your life with spiritual truth, order the book at http://www.thepowerofoneness.com/products/

Self-Evaluation of Seven Basic Beliefs Underlying Your Perceptions of Life – Part 4 of 7: Inner Power

Posted on April 15, 2014 by Sandra Brossman

This is the image of a young woman on a beach at sunrise with her arms open feeling joyful and empowered

Welcome to Part 4 of a 7 part series in which you are invited to become aware of the Basic Beliefs Underlying Your Perceptions of Life! Even more importantly, you are offered the opportunity to transform your self-limiting beliefs of separation and fear into self-empowering beliefs of oneness and unconditional love.

Our basic beliefs are the fundamental concepts we have formed about ourselves and the world around us, based on the mental input we have received throughout our lives. They are the underlying thought forms deep within our psyche that support all our views of life. Our basic beliefs have a profound impact on the quality of our lives because they are the core of our personal values governing absolutely every perception we choose.

Many of our basic beliefs generate self-limiting thoughts because they are framed within our childhood perspectives, rooted in societal training, and do not reflect our whole self.

This week I invite you to become aware of your beliefs about your INNER POWER. “Power” is a word that generates unease within many of us. This is because when we think of “power,” we typically think of “power over,” not “power within.” If we are stuck in the “power over” belief system, we are subscribing to the illusion that we can control others or that others can control us. Depending on our personalities, we may be acting out the aggressive side of this belief system in subtle ways, such as criticism and judgment or, more aggressively, through overt attack and intimidation. If we are acting out the passive side of the “power over” model, we may tend to withhold our affection, attention, or approval of people in an attempt to get them to act in ways that conform with our expectations. Holding the belief that power means we have control over others is a perception of separation and fear that is bound to perpetuate many choices that are hurtful to ourselves and others.

Inner power, on the other hand, is the creative energy of universal love that is seated within the heart of every human being. While we each have a human body, we also have a personal soul connection to the energy of Spirit, which is unconditional, formless, unlimited infinite potential. Every one of us has the capability of tapping into this universal field of love every moment of every day through meditation, prayer, and mindfully choosing perceptions of love and oneness throughout our everyday lives. Remembering that we each have access to the oneness of spirit is extremely self-empowering because it provides us with an indomitable sense of inner stability regardless of outward circumstances.

The following is a Self-Evaluation of Your Beliefs About Your Inner Power. As you scan through the questions, simply ask yourself, “Do I relate to the statements of Separation, or do I relate to the statements of Oneness? The perceptions of separation correspond with fear and lock us into self-defeating behaviors, while the perceptions of oneness resonate with our spiritual truth of unconditional universal love and open us to our greater potential.

BASIC BELIEF #4 – INNER POWER

Do I believe that I have the power to create changes within my life, based on the perceptions I choose?

Separation: Believing that one does not have the power to choose personal perceptions and that thoughts and actions have no energy or impact on anyone; or believing one has the power to change other people.

Oneness: Having awareness and profound respect for one’s ability to direct divine energy through the power of thought; believing in personal inner power to create changes within one’s personal reality.

Which statements do I most relate to – Separation or Oneness?

Where does this belief originate? (I.e. parents, family culture, religion)

Is this my own personal truth now that I am an adult?

DO I CHOOSE TO CHANGE THIS BELIEF?

The following are affirmations to transform your perceptions of separation and fear into affirmations of oneness and unconditional love:

Feeling of Separation: Life’s a game – I’ve got to stay on top.
Affirmation of Oneness: I choose treat myself and others with kindness and respect.

Feeling of Separation: I am telling you this for your own good.
Affirmation of Oneness: I choose to help others by being a compassionate listener and setting a good example with my own life.

Feeling of Separation: I’ll tell you what’s wrong with you . . .
Affirmation of Oneness: I am open to seeing the spiritual goodness in all people.

Feeling of Separation: I want you to change.
Affirmation of Oneness: I am aware that the only person I have the power to change is myself.

Feeling of Separation: You should . . .
Affirmation of Oneness: I choose to release all judgment and criticism of myself and others.

Keep practicing – you have the power to heal your life!

I welcome any questions or insights you would like to share regarding your self-discovery process as you become conscious of your beliefs about your inner power.

Love and Light

Sandra

Self Evaluation of Seven Basic Beliefs Underlying Your Perceptions of Life – Part 3 of 7: Attitude

Posted on April 8, 2014 by Sandra Brossman

This is the image of a lovely blue sky with clouds with the words "Attitude is Everything" in cloud font

Welcome to Part 3 of a 7 part series in which you are invited to become aware of the basic beliefs underlying your perceptions of life! Even more importantly, you are offered the opportunity to transform your self-limiting beliefs of separation and fear into self-empowering beliefs of oneness and unconditional love.

Many of our basic beliefs generate self-limiting thoughts because they are framed within our childhood perspectives, rooted in societal training, and do not reflect our whole self.

This week I invite you to become aware of your beliefs about your ATITUDE. Your attitude is the lens through which you view everyone and everything in your life. Many people say that if there is divine pre-destination in life, what does it matter what choices we make? The answer is that even though we do not get to humanly choose every situation and circumstance that we encounter in life, the quality of our life journey depends on whatever attitude we choose.

We can choose to be pessimistic and concentrate on everything that is “wrong” in our lives which, given this perspective, is potentially everything. When we make it a habit to anticipate resistance in everything we do, we are very likely to encounter the very difficulties we imagined. In fact, if we choose to primarily focus on our problems, we can be sure our bleak philosophy of life will be consistently validated because we will attract people and situations that resonate with our negative thinking.

We can also choose to manage the infinite number of challenges we encounter with a positive attitude. Scientific studies consistently indicate that our stress levels are a reflection of how we choose to perceive a problem, not the problem within itself. When we are positive, we move out of the polarity of judging ourselves and our situations as “good and bad” and “right or wrong,” and choose, instead, to see every challenge as an opportunity to become more whole. Adopting an optimistic perspective is not a naïve behavior. In fact, it requires a great deal of emotional maturity to see the value of everyone and everything you encounter in life.

The following is a self-evaluation of our beliefs about your attitude. As you scan through the questions, simply ask yourself, “Do I relate to the statements of separation, or do I relate to the statements of oneness? The perceptions of separation correspond with fear and lock us into self-defeating behaviors, while the perceptions of oneness resonate with our spiritual truth of unconditional universal love and open us to our greater potential.

BASIC BELIEF #3 – ATTITUDE

What is my outlook on life in general?

Separation: Having a negative attitude; expecting the worst; viewing life as a difficult “win/lose” competitive event; feeling life has to be hard; a survival attitude.

Oneness: Having a positive attitude rooted in spiritual strength; leaving space for optimistic outcomes; seeing life as a process of learning and growth; viewing life with imagination and enthusiasm.

Which statements do I most relate to – Separation or Oneness?

Where does this belief originate? (i.e. parents, family culture, religion)

Is this my own personal truth now that I am an adult?

DO I CHOOSE TO CHANGE THIS BELIEF?

The following are affirmations to transform your perceptions of separation and fear into affirmations of Oneness and unconditional love:

Feeling of Separation: Life is an endless struggle.

Affirmation of Oneness: I take responsibility for the perceptions I choose and how they affect my life.

Feeling of Separation: It will never work.

Affirmation of Oneness: I am open to success and positive outcomes.

Feeling of Separation: The world is a rotten place.

Affirmation of Oneness: I choose to see divine will and goodness in all things.

Feeling of Separation: I have to fight to get what I want.

Affirmation of Oneness: I choose to experience peace and harmony in my life.

Feeling of Separation: I can’t do it.

Affirmation of Oneness: I choose to believe that anything is possible.

Every single belief that you have stored into your brain is the result of constant repetition that has come from yourself – as well as from others. YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR BELIEFS THROUGH THE PROCESS OF AFFIRMATIONS. It does not matter whether you initially believe your affirmations. Affirmations are a mental stretch moving toward spiritual truth. With enough repetition, you will come to believe your Affirmations of Oneness.

Keep practicing – you are making progress!

I welcome any questions or insights you would like to share regarding your self-discovery process as you become conscious of your beliefs about your attitude.

Love and Light

Sandra

The e-book version, regularly priced at $9.99 is presently being offered for only $1.99.

Self-Evaluation of Seven Basic Beliefs Underlying Your Perceptions of Life – Part 2 of 7: Self-Responsibility

Posted on April 1, 2014 by Sandra Brossman

This is the image of a blue sky with some clouds with the word "responsibility" typed in a cloud-like font.

Welcome to Part 2 of a 7 part series in which you are invited to become aware of the Basic Beliefs Underlying Your Perceptions of Life! Even more importantly, you are offered the opportunity to transform your self-limiting beliefs of separation and fear into self-empowering beliefs of oneness and unconditional love.

Our basic beliefs are the fundamental concepts we have formed about ourselves and the world around us based on the mental input we have received throughout our lives. They are the underlying thought forms deep within our psyche that support all our views of life. Our basic beliefs have a profound impact on the quality of our lives because they are the core of our personal values governing absolutely every perception we choose.

Many of our basic beliefs generate self-limiting thoughts because they are framed within our childhood perspectives, rooted in societal training, and do not reflect our whole self.

This week I invite you to become aware of your beliefs about self-responsibility. Every thought you have and every word you speak is creating the circumstances within your life. Because every thought is an electrical impulse, each of us is like a television station in that we transmit our thoughts by sending out certain frequencies, also known as vibrations. The vibrations of your thoughts magnetize other thoughts on the same frequency, so whatever you send out is what comes back to you. Thoughts of love attract people and circumstances that resonate with love. Thoughts of fear attract people and circumstances that resonate with fear.

When you take responsibility for your own thoughts and how they are creating the quality of your reality, you are no longer beholden to the beliefs and thoughts of others. If you don’t like what you see in your exterior world, you don’t have to wait for the circumstances to change. You have the creative power to change your exterior reality by changing the interior world of your thoughts!

The following is a self-evaluation of your beliefs about self-responsibility. As you scan through the questions, simply ask yourself, “Do I relate to the statements of separation, or do I relate to the statements of oneness? The perceptions of separation correspond with fear and lock us into self-defeating behaviors, while the perceptions of oneness resonate with our spiritual truth of unconditional, universal love and open us to our greater potential.

BASIC BELIEF #2 – SELF-RESPONSIBILITY

Do I believe that my personal reality is a reflection of my thoughts and actions?

Do I believe that I am responsible for choosing perceptions that are in alignment with my spiritual truth?

Separation: Living from the “outside in;” feeling like a victim; using personal energy to react to outer circumstances; blaming others for the circumstances and quality of one’s life; holding other people responsible for one’s happiness and fulfillment.

Oneness: Living from the “inside out;” taking responsibility for the perceptions that create our personal reality; using personal energy to pro-actively create perceptions based on inner spiritual truth; acknowledging challenges in life as spiritual growth opportunities.

Which statements do I most relate to – separation or oneness?

Where does this belief originate? (i.e. parents, family culture, religion)

Is this my own personal truth now that I am an adult?

DO I CHOOSE TO CHANGE THIS BELIEF?

The following are affirmations to transform your perceptions of separation and fear into affirmations of oneness and unconditional love:

Feeling of Separation: I have no control over what happens to me.

Affirmation of Oneness: I take responsibility for the perceptions I choose and how they affect my life.

Feeling of Separation: I cannot survive without someone to take care of me.

Affirmation of Oneness: I am connected to a Higher Power that provides me with the strength and courage I need to support myself.

Feeling of Separation: My parents have ruined my life.

Affirmation of Oneness: I am responsible for the quality of my own life.

Feeling of Separation: Bad things are always happening to me.

Affirmation of Oneness: I choose to see the spiritual messages in all my experience.

Feeling of Separation: People are always trying to control me.

Affirmation of Oneness: I have the power to take charge of my own life.

I welcome any questions or insights you would like to share regarding your self-discovery process as you become conscious of your beliefs about self-responsibility.

Love and Light

Sandra

The e-book version, regularly priced at $9.99 is presently being offered for only $1.99.

Self-Evaluation of Seven Basic Beliefs Underlying Your Perceptions of Life – Part 1 of 7: Self-Worth

Posted on March 25, 2014 by Sandra Brossman

Image of large road sign against a background of blue cloudy sky that says SELF-WORTH

This week we are beginning a 7-part series in which you are invited to become aware of the Basic Beliefs Underlying Your Perceptions of Life. Even more importantly, you are offered the opportunity to transform your self-limiting beliefs of Separation and fear into self-empowering beliefs of Oneness and unconditional love.

Our Basic Beliefs are the fundamental concepts we have formed about ourselves and the world around us, based on the mental input we have received throughout our lives. They are the underlying thought forms deep within our psyche that support all our views of life. Our basic beliefs have a profound impact on the quality of our lives because they are the core of personal values governing absolutely every perception we choose.

Many of our Basic Beliefs generate self-limiting thoughts because they are framed within our childhood perspectives, rooted in societal training, and do not reflect our Whole Self.

The following is a Self-Evaluation of Your Beliefs about Self-Worth. As you scan through the questions, simply ask yourself, “Do I relate to the statements of Separation, or do I relate to the statements of Oneness? The perceptions of separation correspond with fear and lock us into self-defeating behaviors, while the perceptions of Oneness resonate with our spiritual truth of unconditional, universal love and open us to our greater potential.

BASIC BELIEF #1 – SELF-WORTH

Do I love myself?

Do I believe that I deserve to be loved, healthy, happy, and successful?

Separation: Feeling a sense of non-entitlement to the blessings of life; compulsively reacting to external demands; not acknowledging the need to recharge; looking to others for approval and validation; feeling responsible for the happiness of others.

Oneness: Realizing that unconditional love begins with self; feeling worthy of life’s blessings; treating oneself with compassion and kindness; being open to receiving the loving energy of the universe; taking the time to go inside of self for spiritual regeneration.

Which statements do I most relate to – Separation or Oneness?

Where does this belief originate? (I.e. parents, family culture, religion)

Is this my own personal truth now that I am an adult?

DO I CHOOSE TO CHANGE THIS BELIEF?

The following are affirmations to transform your perceptions of separation and fear into affirmations of Oneness and unconditional love:

Feeling of Separation: I feel unloved.
Affirmation of Oneness: I deeply and completely love and accept my unique self.

Feeling of Separation: I give much more than I receive
Affirmation of Oneness: As I give, I receive the unlimited, loving energy of the Universe

Feeling of Separation: I feel like I am a bad person.
Affirmation of Oneness: I choose to be compassionate and forgiving with myself and others.

Feeling of Separation: I don’t deserve to experience happiness
Affirmation of Oneness: I am worthy of all life’s blessings

Feeling of Separation: I don’t have the time to take care of myself
Affirmation of Oneness: I choose to create the time and space to nurture and regenerate myself.

I welcome any questions or insights you would like to share regarding your self-discovery process as you become conscious of your beliefs about self-worth.

Love and Light

Sandra

The e-book version, regularly priced at $9.99 is presently being offered for only $1.99.

The Power of Your Words

Posted on March 18, 2014 by Sandra Brossman

This is the image of a personified red hear with a megaphone

Most of us tend to underestimate the enormous power of words. Every word we speak sends out a vibration that carries forth an intention. Our words can be healing, loving, kind, comforting, and encouraging. We can also choose words that are cruel, damaging, depressing, and discouraging. We each have the power to choose whether we want our words to hurt or heal.

It is very important to understand that the way speak to others is the way we feel about ourselves. If we are feeling insecure and vulnerable, we are likely to reactively fire off angry words in an unconscious, futile effort to defend ourselves. Ironically, the people on the receiving end of our words of fury are typically the people who are in our inner circle of family and friends because these are the people whom we feel will accept us, no matter what we are saying. Not surprisingly, we can end up alienating the very people who are most supportive of us because it is exhausting and self-destructive to be around someone who is constantly hurling cruel words.

When we use our words to mindlessly vent our feelings, not only does this hurt the people on the receiving end of our words, it ultimately proves to be very hurtful to ourselves because the words we send out to others actually forms an energy field around us. This can prove to be an endless cycle of mindlessly projecting damaging words, only to discover that we are attracting the same type of responses from other people. When this happens, everyone involved is in high drama, and we are not likely to accomplish anything in our interaction. We may have found an outlet for our feelings; however, everyone has gotten hurt in the process.

By now you may be asking yourself, “How do I speak kindly to others when I don’t like the person to whom I am speaking?” Actually, communicating with others with kind intention is not dependent on how you feel about the other person. Mindfully choosing your words is a healthy habit that you develop because you respect yourself. Creating a verbal battleground with others does not create the quality of life you want to live because you are likely to feel guilty most of the time, so what are you gaining?

The bottom line is that if you want to experience peace and love in your world, it is imperative that you choose words that are in harmony with these qualities.

You can develop the habit of consciously choosing words that are constructive for yourself and others. The following are a few points that can help you to communicate in respectful, kind ways, no matter who you are talking with and no matter what the situation:

Take responsibility for how you communicate – The quality of your life is a manifestation of the energy you are projecting. If you are communicating with people in a respectful way, that is the quality of life you are creating. If you are mindlessly reacting to people and situations with anger and negative intentions, then this is also the reality you are creating. Once you take responsibility for this, you can change your reality for the better.

Speak kindly to yourself – Since we project to others the way we feel about ourselves, it is essential that you begin to practice talking to yourself the way you would like others to speak to you. Our minds are like computers, recording our self-dialogue into our subconscious minds. If you feed your mind with self-affirming, kind words about yourself, you will naturally respond to others in the same way.

Think before you speak – Ask yourself: Am I talking to this person the way in which I want to be spoken? We all have a split second, at the very least, to engage our minds before we open our mouths. Once our thoughts are spoken, it is not possible to retract the energy we have projected, so it is well worth our while to do a quick mental edit of the words we are thinking before we say them.

Be conscious of what you are trying to accomplish through your communications – If you are clear about what you want to create or resolve with another, you will become aware of the words you need to use to create your desired outcome. This will help you to steer clear of getting into the “negative zone” of engaging in hurtful verbal exchanges with unproductive results.

When you mindfully choose words that are in alignment with love, respect, and cooperation, you will discover that you are able to attract people and situations that coincide with the energy you are projecting. From a spiritual perspective, this is the quality of life you were meant to live, and you have the power to create it!

Love and Light

Sandra

The e-book version, regularly priced at $9.99 is presently being offered for only $1.99.

What Matters Most Is How You See Yourself

Posted on March 11, 2014 by Sandra Brossman

This is the image of an orange tabby cat with his paw on the mirror as he looks at his reflection

When you look into or pass by a mirror, what is the first thing you do? If you are like most people, your first response is to criticize the image reflecting back to you.

There is a huge full-length mirror in an elevator lobby in my building that compels anyone who is waiting for the elevators to catch a glimpse of themselves. I always find it interesting to hear what people say: “Boy, I look tired,” “My hair looks terrible today,” and “Ooh – I am really gaining weight” are a few of the most common things I hear. I don’t think I have ever heard anyone say something positive about their own reflection.

Of course, it is rather uncomfortable to say aloud that you think you look wonderful when you are in a public place. So the question is: Why do we think it is all right to say something negative about ourselves in a public place?

Most of us have been socially conditioned to worry about how other people think of us. While there is nothing wrong with trying to emulate the qualities we admire in others, we do ourselves a great deal of harm by judging and criticizing ourselves when we think we are not measuring up to our perceptions of other people’s expectations. Chronic self-criticism produces guilt and shame, and shame is an emotion that continues to perpetuate a negative self-image.

So where does our self-image originate? Beginning early in our childhoods, we are mentally programmed with beliefs which have been influenced by years of social conditioning, religious doctrines, family structure, teaching institutions, and customs. When we were young children, we did not have the mental capabilities to screen what was our personal truth and what was someone else’s, so we unconditionally accepted the perceptions of our parents and people around us as absolute truth. If a parent consistently scolded us by saying we were “bad,” or a teacher in kindergarten told us we were “not bright,” we most likely accepted these statements as gospel. Because we needed to look to others for our survival when we were young children, we tended to adapt our thinking and behavior to gain acceptance and approval from others.

If you have had a lot of positive programming as a child, chances are that you have developed a healthy sense of self-esteem by learning how to focus on your strengths. If you have had a lot of criticism as you were growing up (and most of us have), you may have developed the habit of constantly looking for your shortcomings. You can spend your whole life living backward by blaming the people who passed on their fear-based beliefs, or you can move into present time by living your life according to your own authentic values. If we truly want to heal, at a soul level, we need to transform the foundation of all of our beliefs from fear to love, beginning with ourselves.

The next time you look into a mirror, look into your own eyes and tell yourself what you most need to hear: “I deeply and completely love and accept myself.” If you are at home, say it out loud. If you are in public, think it to yourself. You cannot say or hear it too often because the most basic human need we all have is to be loved and accepted. If this is a message we want to hear from others, it is a message we need to first tell ourselves. This practice will help you to develop the habit of focusing on your light and inner beauty because it is based on the unconditional love of Spirit.

One of the most touching and simply written summaries I have ever seen regarding self-esteem was written by the 8-year old daughter of a close friend of mine. Her assignment was to look at a cat looking in a mirror, with a tiger reflecting back. She was asked to look at the picture and explain her thinking on the following statement: “What you think of yourself is more important than what you think others think of you.” Following is her response:

I think that the statement and picture mean that you need to be proud to be you and to think of yourself as amazing, talented, and very, very special. Do not worry about what other people think of you. If YOU think you are great, smart, and doing well, that is probably what other people will think of you. If not – no worries. In conclusion, be happy with who you are. Your opinion of yourself may not be the same as others, but that does not matter. YOU ARE STILL SPECIAL!!

Love and Light

Sandra

PART TWO: A Simple Forgiveness Exercise

Posted on March 4, 2014 by Sandra Brossman

This is the image of a gold, glitter heart on a black background

In last week’s blog, we talked about the need to forgive everyone, including people who have hurt us deeply. In this message, we discuss a simple forgiveness process that can be practiced all the time and has the infinite potential to heal everyone and everything, beginning with you. Since the process that is described at the end of the blog is exquisitely simple, the following points are intended to help you to open your mind and heart to the blessings of forgiveness:

Honor Your Feelings. Express your anger and resentment by beginning with a catharsis. Trying to forgive someone without first venting your feelings of pain is like trying to seal a potential volcanic eruption with a band-aid. There is usually a great deal of energy that needs to be released before the wound can heal. Some constructive ways you can do this are to: Give yourself permission to cry or even scream (best done in the car or somewhere where no one else can hear you!), talk with someone who is a compassionate listener, write your feelings down on paper, or engage in physical exercise. It is easy to stay stuck in this stage of expressing your feelings, so be sure to commit yourself to moving on to the next step of taking responsibility.

Take responsibility for the part that you have played in creating the situation. This is probably the most self-empowering step in the process of forgiveness. Since our thoughts create our reality, it is important that you remember that you have played a role in the creation of every experience you have ever had. By taking responsibility for your part, you are no longer a victim. If you created it, you can also change it!

Let go the need to judge who is “right” and who is “wrong.” Chances are that each person involved is absolutely certain he or she is right. This is why there is a conflict in the first place! Continuing to think this way only perpetuates more pain and suffering and resolves nothing.

Forgive yourself. You can only do for another that which you can do for yourself. This is truly an act of self-love. You are not forgiving yourself for being “wrong.” You are forgiving yourself for making choices that were not aligned with your personal values and self-respect. You are also forgiving yourself for continuing to punish yourself by constantly re-living painful memories.

See the Other Person’s Point of View – Remember that forgiveness is a two-way street. We need to also ask for forgiveness for our own transgressions against others. It is much easier to remember who has hurt us; yet many times the best way to move away from the self-perception of being an innocent victim is to realize that we have also hurt other people.

Be thankful for every experience. Every person you meet and every situation you have experienced is teaching you to be more whole. Our greatest lessons many times come through our most painful times. Choosing to be thankful for what you have learned from both the pleasant and unpleasant situations in life is the most effective way to move out of old pain behaviors. Gratitude is an emotion that sends out a frequency that attracts positive people and creates healthy situations.

Now, here is a shortcut that incorporates all of the above suggestions.

You can use this forgiveness process for every person and in every situation in your life. It is a derivation of an ancient Hawaiian healing process, H’oponopono, and is rooted in the intention of freeing one’s soul. You do not even need to be in the physical presence of someone whom you need to forgive. By merely focusing on the following thoughts, you are transmitting the energy of unconditional love.

A SIMPLE FORGIVENESS EXERCISE

1. I love myself and I forgive myself.

2. I take responsibility for the part that I have played in creating this situation.

3. Please forgive me for anything I have done to hurt you. (Imagine the person or people whom you need to forgive.)

4. Thank you for the lessons I have learned.

5. I love you! (This is not about human passionate love – it is the unconditional, neutral love of spirit that honors the soul of every living being. This is the part of the forgiveness exercise that has the magical power to heal everyone and everything in ways that transcend human understanding.)

Remember, it does not matter if you do not feel these statements when you begin this process. What you are doing is setting intentions, and intentions precede feelings. As you consistently continue to send out these thoughts, you will begin to feel what you are saying because you are working in harmony with universal love.

Forgiveness is a habit. Like all habits, the more you practice it, the easier it becomes. Be kind to yourself and stick with it. Because forgiveness is unconditional love, it has the infinite potential to transform everyone and everything.

YOU have the power to heal yourself and others by making the choice to forgive.

Love and Light

Sandra

Click this link to order the downloadable audio meditation, “Free Yourself Through Forgiveness,” narrated by Sandra Brossman.

How Can We Forgive People Who Have Hurt Us Deeply? PART ONE

Posted on February 25, 2014 by Sandra Brossman

This is the image of a gold and sparkle outline of a heart on a black background

Sometimes the words and actions of people who have hurt you may feel so vicious that the thought of forgiving them seems like an impossible human feat. No matter how hard you try, you may feel that you cannot reconcile your feelings about them, nor understand how anyone could act in such unkind ways. It is only human to feel angered and upset when we are on the receiving end of someone’s cruel words and actions. What is self-destructive is not that we have these feelings – it is that we hold onto them. Most of us tend to hold the illusion that forgiveness is something that we are being asked to give to an undeserving person, so one of the best ways to prepare yourself to be a forgiving person is to see forgiveness in a more truthful light.

Forgiveness always begins with self.

Believe it or not, the person you most need to forgive for any situation in which you have been hurt is yourself – not because you are “wrong,” but because you have made choices which have not been aligned with your soul’s need for inner truth and self-respect. By forgiving yourself, it becomes easier to forgive others and to move out of the victimhood perception. It’s all part of our spiritual growth.

Forgiving someone does not mean you are endorsing

anyone’s harmful behavior.

You may find it very liberating to realize that you do not need to feel warmly toward people who have hurt you, nor do you need to understand their actions, in order to forgive. You may even make a healthy decision that it is not in your best interest to be in the physical presence of people who have hurt you deeply.

The way people act is a reflection of how they feel about themselves,

NOT YOU!

When someone behaves in a harmful, manipulative way, it is very important to understand that they are projecting from THEIR reservoir of fears. The way they are treating you is exactly the way they feel about themselves. This is why self-love is so essential in that it forms the foundation for how we treat everyone around us. When we focus on someone else’s negative behavior by responding the same way, we compound the problem by reinforcing their fears and our own. We then step into the darkness of the other person’s world of fear, rather than bringing illumination to the situation. Instead of inviting the other person to our space of peace, we hurt ourselves by stepping into their chaos.

We learn and grow from our relationships.

No matter how angry we may feel toward someone, there are no accidents; there is a reason for every single interaction we have with anyone, whether pleasant or not. They are teaching us, and we are teaching them. We can perceive even our most painful experiences as growth opportunities by asking ourselves, “What am I experiencing through this person that I need to learn?” The things that irritate us about someone else are a reflection of something we need to see within ourselves in order to mature in our spirituality. We may realize that this person is reminding us our need to develop more self-esteem or exposing our own need to be more patient and forgiving. It could also be that we recognize that what this person is doing that is causing us pain is the same thing we have to someone else in the past. The important thing is that when we view our relationship issues in this way, we are learning from, rather than judging the other person.

When you withhold forgiveness, you are likely to repeat

negative relationship patterns.

When you withhold forgiveness and choose to ignore the messages that are coming to you in the form of relationships, the universe will continue to present you with people and circumstances based on the same theme until you become aware of what you need to know. It is as though you are in a play and the same actor exits and comes back on stage again wearing a new outfit. Once you accept the lessons you are learning through your relationships, you are likely to free yourself from living through the same painful emotional patterns over and over again.

When you forgive someone,
you no longer allow them to control your life.

If you are holding back on forgiving someone, chances are you are making them the center of your attention. This means that you continue to re-experience the self-damaging emotions of pain, anger, and resentment every time you think of that person, which is probably most of the time. Why give anyone that kind of power over your life? Take back your power to live your life with all the potential that exists in present time.

Forgiveness is a form of neutral, unconditional love.

Forgiveness is not a warm, fuzzy emotion. It is a neutral, compassionate emotion that acknowledges that we are all connected as one human family. When you choose to forgive someone, you are acknowledging that every single person on earth, no matter who they are or how they conduct themselves, is part of humanity and, therefore, a part of who you are. In other words, you stop focusing on the objectionable physical actions of others by looking at a soul level, beneath their negative behavior.

The bottom line is that forgiveness is something we do for OURSELVES! It is the most effective way we can free ourselves from self-defeating old patterns from the past and step into the infinite potential that we can only discover in present time. When we do this, we are blessing ourselves and everyone in our lives by placing a greater priority on love and inner peace than on revenge and self-righteousness.

In next week’s blog, Part 2, we will discuss a simple exercise that will empower you to make forgiveness a part of your daily life.

Love and Light

Sandra

Click this link to order the downloadable audio meditation, “Free Yourself Through Forgiveness,” narrated by Sandra Brossman.

Embracing the Silence of Winter

Posted on February 18, 2014 by Sandra Brossman

This is the image of blue sky and a snowy scenery with footprints in the snow and snow covered trees

Just in case we have been taking ourselves too seriously by getting lost in our daily frenetic pace, Mother Nature has stepped in to provide us with the perfect antidote for an overactive schedule – Winter!

Over the past few months, most of our country has experienced some of the largest snowfalls, as well as the lowest temperatures, in recorded weather history. As if the forces of snow, ice, wind and freezing temperatures were not sufficient to slow us down, there were also record breaking numbers of power outages throughout the country. Many people were literally in the dark for up to five days. Impassable roads, temporary business shutdowns, and school closings have compelled us to hunker down in the warmth and shelter of our homes.

We are so accustomed to being over stimulated, that it may be difficult to identify this as being the perfect time to change our perspective and to see the winter as a gift.

While all of these extreme weather conditions have caused enormous inconveniences, they have also provided us with an unusual sense of silence. The soft, white cover of snow provides a quiet backdrop for reflection, rather like a blank canvas inviting us to become more introspective and creative. We can also use this time to become aware of the beautiful synchronicity within the rhythm of nature. Winter is a time when everything dies off or goes within itself to grow and be renewed until spring is here again. It is a time when many animals hibernate and plants shut down to store their energies until the warmth of spring arrives.

Below are seven insights that may change your perspective to see the wintertime as a blessing:

1. Go Within – Just as we have a tendency to stay indoors in the winter, it is a perfect time to go within ourselves to clear our minds and nurture our souls. This can be done through meditation, by reading a good book, or watching a favorite movie. The important point is that we get quiet time to relax. What you are actually doing is planting seeds for the longer and brighter days of tomorrow.

2. Give Yourself Permission to Slow Down – This time of year offers us the space and time to slow down. We often find ourselves craving a comfortable couch and a roaring fire. It makes us feel warm, happy, and sleepy. Also, there is nothing like staying in bed a little longer, snuggled up under the covers, enjoying the warmth.

3. Appreciate the Silence – The winter offers clarity within the silence. It is truly amazing to step outside after it snows and notice how crisp the air is and how quiet your surroundings are. The snow is a blanket that softens everything around you and creates a pause that allows you to appreciate the rarity of silence.

4. Spark Your Creativity – The void of darkness sometimes gives us the room we need to allow our creative mind to come alive. Have fun! This is the time to start an arts and crafts project or simply cook a meal that is out of the ordinary.

5. Savor the Simple Things – This quiet time offers you the opportunity to notice the small wonders of life such as hot soup, the texture of sheets, the warmth of a good fire, or how much fun it is to make a snow angel – even if you are an adult!

6. Spend More Time With Family and Friends – This is a wonderful time to do things you may not otherwise have had time to do, such as: baking cookies with the kids and grandkids, catching up on phone time with loved ones, playing games, and getting together for coffee, tea, or lunch with friends.

7. Embrace the Beauty of Nature – Indulge your senses by enjoying a brisk walk in the cold. Allow your eyes to feast on the beauty of the glistening snow, smell the clarity of the air, and listen to the silence.

Enjoy what is around you right now! You don’t need to “get away” literally. Most of us need to “get away” from our daily lives and our frenetic pace. You can do this anywhere, including right where you are.

Love and Light

Sandra

The e-book version, regularly priced at $9.99 is presently being offered for only $1.99.